So upsetting...

[Albert_247]

My life has been pretty rough, I mean I was bullied all during high school from 13 to 18, I didn't like my father's difference entirely, my diagnosis mis conception happened at 19 and I've been kept on meds for the last 9 years. I'm beneath this image of having a disability when I don't agree with my diagnosis, It's too unique and unbelievable to explain to anyone so I'm treated as indenyl or lacking insight. The health issues were 22 & 25, Then I had no driving independence till 26 because I didn't have any parents to learn with, plus hated all my driving teachers. I only could drive through having Centrelink, I never could advance my life without having any sense for which suitable jobs I would want to work, I never had vacancies with so much immigration and competition with society and with fresh high school kids wanting jobs too. I never wanted to be a apprentice or go to University, even with a interest in Nutrition I'm just not the study personality. I only had help to write the resume & cover letters after going through useless job recruiters but they are not much guarantee to get anyone payed employment. I never had a new group of mateship after leaving high school and I've had no experience with girls as friends or even socially or on a intimate level. I'm complete incel unfortunately with me, but I wouldn't feel like un able to speak to them, unless their really attractive. I had a dream to become a hobbyist musician, though I just had all that with high school, my dad and my mental health drama to deal with, while not having women, work, and a regular life it all ruined my confidence to do it since 14. Don't feel like my parents are on that journey or understanding to chase dreams, they played life more passive and safe and their a whole different personality to me. Now I feel like I'm failing at life or like a ugly man child and everything always felt out of my control, or that thing's couldn't be better given the circumstance.

[Albert_247]

Yes thankfully I was born in 1995, compared to the earlier 2000's, but I often say I wish I was born in the later 1980's or early 80's, I often feel I'm supposed to be anywhere from 34 - 43 age with my personality 

[Albert_247]

Thanks for your response mmMekitty, I have to agree with you, it did maybe seem like I was generalising everyone of the world today, I just have to tell myself, if someone told me I was living wrong or looked wrong      I wouldn't want that feeling or opinions given to me, so If I don't agree with anything of what others do or live that way, I'm just letting them be who they are because freedoms benefits all of us, I'm just not going to get upset about things out of my control, I'm only more mad if someone conformed anything on me but that's totally different possibility out in the world. Thanks for your response mmMekitty and maybe it's nostalgia but I think if we could vote to live back in the 2000's or today's world a lot would like to go back too    

[Albert_247]

Thanks so much for your response Yours_truly and as time has gone along I've seen that it was rather toxic for myself to believe or even think that everyone had to live in accordance to my religious views, I mean I still generally have those beliefs but now I just agree with you that everyone should be free to live for themselves because were all born unique and no one should have any power to define the next person in anyway, so I definitely agree with the Gen Z thinking, I'm virtually the same generation just 2 years shy, though I'd rather be more vintage in many ways the world is more loving and fighting for safety now, and just interacting with the older generations can make you feel so angry because their so subjective and have hatred to things outside their norms  

[Earth Girl]

Hi Albert,

I'm sorry you were bullied so badly at school. It's really bad that that bully put glue into your hair - did you tell any teachers or adults about that? If the bullying was really extreme and they were deliberately trying to hurt your feelings, I don't see anything wrong with you wanting them to get expelled even if they have to go to a school that isn't very good, but unfortunately there probably isn't really anything you can do about it now since neither of you go to school anymore. Are your bullies nicer to you now or are they still being nasty?

Can you further explain what you mean when you say you feel like your old friends voices are overshadowing your own and they are trying to control you? Did these people bully you too and hurt your self esteem?

I think it's good that you don't try to get back at your bullies. It could just make things worse and they probably won't listen to you anyway. Continue being the bigger person and don't be mean back to them as much as possible, they might even get bored (hopefully) and leave you alone. It's probably not worth your energy being mean back to them.

I know it seems hard now, but as you get older, you'll realize that these people don't matter if they aren't nice and it's better to focus on the people who are nice to you. Let your bullies words fall off like water off a duck's back because if you think about it, these people who treat you like you don't matter aren't all that important themselves. Nobody is better than anyone else so don't let them think they are.

[Albert_247]

Yes I was just about to make another post talking about this experience but now there's no need too as I can just reply with these messages, I have basically had numerous bullies during my high school education and now being 28 I've finished school since 2013 but I didn't leave from my bad relationships until I was either 23 or 24, their personalities effect my psychological esteem because they always came at me with un wanted opinions and labels and always believed they were the smarter intelligence or more valuable, Trying to make me feel rock bottom at 22 or that I'm not allowed a view on anything because I am not working, For myself my confidence wasn't about believing in their different thinking, it was more about being mute or having them over talk me, I always had myself over thinking about their mis treatment and it made me feel angry and that I just wanted to have things equal or make them jealous in some way, I wanted to be a generic male and assert myself but I never had advantage with a stronger body and I believe sometimes tough love does resolve matters with certain types even if that isn't a modern friendly believed concept. I'm having other issues that also impact my esteem like figuring out my life in general financially and I was telling myself that I can't let 6 years of school peoples control the rest of my life

[mmMekitty]

Hello Albert

You have said so brilliantly: "I can't let 6 years of school peoples control the rest of my life".

Their opinions are their opinions - you certainly do not have to agree & share their opinions.

I learned that about the opinions of my (ex-)step-mother, & the bullies I had endured at school, too. I really don't have to agree with what anyone thinks about me, thinks I am & thinks what I can't do, or all I'm good for - NOTHING. I don't have to agree with anything someone else says about me.

The opinion which matters the most to me is what I think of myself.

I'm proud of you for realising how you don't have to accept what people said during the six years at school, and that the six years are a small portion of a long life. That is a positive insight you have gained.

Ha, I think I was heading into my 40's before I realised that.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Earth Girl]

If they think they are smarter than you, that's kind of silly because we all have our strengths and weaknesses in all things including in intelligence so in some way maybe they are smarter than you, but that means that in some ways, you would be smarter than them. It's also silly that they think you are not allowed a view on anything just because you aren't working. Everyone has views and opinions because we are humans and just because you don't have a job, it doesn't mean you don't want one. I understand that it's a lot harder for some people to get jobs than it is for others. I myself only have a semi job, cleaning in an office which I do once a week. I want to get a job-job, but I really struggle socially and I've tried many places.

Can I ask what they say about you?

[Albert_247]

This won't be a long vent, but I just always feel people either can't handle the truth because they make      it seem controversial, they take disagreement personally, everything has to be said in correction with democratic politics, anything conservative is silenced. They say Australia is a country of diversity but yet it's a taboo to even speak of religion, so it's not a genuinely accepting place for all walks of personality. They try to keep you in the present and progressive mindset and you can't even look back to different time periods or the 2000's because they think your either toxic or old fashioned or something of the sort. I'm mostly bothered by the fact how superficial society is nowadays and how bullying has become on the rise, feeling recently that I can't even speak with my Australian accent because younger generations want to project their insecurities. Used to think Australia was this amazing country but it's becoming a country for just the wealthy 

[therising]

Hi Albert

I think our evolution as a species involves a sense of wonder, an open mind and a desire for greater consciousness. I think we can come across people who kind of lack some or all of those things and it can really be a challenge.

I believe some people don't consider some form of evolution involving returning (turning again) to some 'old' ways, ways that used to really work well. While I'm more of an all 'round spiritual kinda gal, I've found some of the old ways work well when I reflect on being raised in the Catholic faith. I would say the 10 commandments point to a basic moral and social compass. 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is definitely not a good old way. Put differently, if you don't beat your child into following the right path then the child is spoiled/damaged goods. I believe you can spoil the genuine beautiful nature or soul of a child if you beat their nature out of them. For example, some parents would beat their energetic child, who's full of life, into some soul destroying form of depressing submission. And the idea that 'Children should be seen and not heard' left generations of people without an innocent sage-like angle on life or good guidance when it comes to the right questions to be asking in life, such as 'Dad, why are you in a job that's making you so sad?'. Good question, well worth pondering. 80 years ago a kid could have got a backhand for being so 'cheeky' and 'disrespectful' in asking such a question.

I suppose the question is, these days, 'Are people wondering about the right things, opening their mind to what's possibly the best ways and are they becoming more conscious of what they really need to be conscious of or are some simply getting caught up in political correctness?'.

It triggers me too, some of society's current beliefs. While people speak of liberation and freedom in regard to certain things, I tend to question certain freedoms. Born in 1970, I was raised to not say the f word around people, out of respect. I taught my kids the same thing. While my 18yo son, 20yo daughter and myself do not say this word around each other, we have been known to say it on occasion in different company. Through being disciplined to not say it anywhere and any time we like, we maintain conscious consideration. It truly stuns me and disappoints me at times how others are not led to be more conscious around people. If you challenge that kind of thing, people are inclined to say 'You're such a prude, there's nothing wrong with the word'. It's not about the word, it's about conscious consideration. Conscious consideration and a healthy sense of wonder can be a little lacking these days. If someone was to poo poo certain religions, I'd be inclined to lead them to wonder, which could sound a little like 'Have you ever been led to wonder about all the good points that particular religion offers?'. If their response was 'No' then I'd know I was dealing with a closed minded person. If you're sensitive enough, you'll be able to feel their mind slam shut like a steel trap. Has quite an unmistakable feel to it.😊

[Albert_247]

Yeah I almost feel that people find it cringe or amusing that I am polite and have manners, It's my nature to say things like thank you and please and all that because I was raised by boomer parents and I like being warm, It's just the feeling that people think your so rare or lovely or that your the 1950's because I am still a friendly soul