So upsetting...

Albert_247 · ‎10-11-2023

My life has been pretty rough, I mean I was bullied all during high school from 13 to 18, I didn't like my father's difference entirely, my diagnosis mis conception happened at 19 and I've been kept on meds for the last 9 years. I'm beneath this image of having a disability when I don't agree with my diagnosis, It's too unique and unbelievable to explain to anyone so I'm treated as indenyl or lacking insight. The health issues were 22 & 25, Then I had no driving independence till 26 because I didn't have any parents to learn with, plus hated all my driving teachers. I only could drive through having Centrelink, I never could advance my life without having any sense for which suitable jobs I would want to work, I never had vacancies with so much immigration and competition with society and with fresh high school kids wanting jobs too. I never wanted to be a apprentice or go to University, even with a interest in Nutrition I'm just not the study personality. I only had help to write the resume & cover letters after going through useless job recruiters but they are not much guarantee to get anyone payed employment. I never had a new group of mateship after leaving high school and I've had no experience with girls as friends or even socially or on a intimate level. I'm complete incel unfortunately with me, but I wouldn't feel like un able to speak to them, unless their really attractive. I had a dream to become a hobbyist musician, though I just had all that with high school, my dad and my mental health drama to deal with, while not having women, work, and a regular life it all ruined my confidence to do it since 14. Don't feel like my parents are on that journey or understanding to chase dreams, they played life more passive and safe and their a whole different personality to me. Now I feel like I'm failing at life or like a ugly man child and everything always felt out of my control, or that thing's couldn't be better given the circumstance.

Albert_247 · ‎19-10-2023

thanks for your response, always appreciated by the way, thanks therising

randomxx · ‎19-10-2023

Hi there op.

First up yeah l was raised to always say pls and thanku and stuff , we always loved it though when mum swore , which was like a bloody or another fav was bombastic bugger , only person we ever new said that , whatever it was haha.

She was very religious so it was always a crack up to hear her crack and call something a bloody this or that.

What age roughly are you , l only ask bc l'm late 50s now but hear a lot of quirks and twists from my daughter and her friends and the ways they all seem to communicate these days, sm and all the garbage.

My bracket you can swear till the cows come home if you pls , most will start if they don't already once they hear it's a fine with me but of course depends who your talking too and the situation too, ya don't just blurt stuff out anywhere anytime .

Aus society in general these days though yeah , it often seems very conservative but sometimes l think l'm the only one still says pls or thku though.

ln general though if your making friends l've found right through life, there are all sorts out there the trick is though , you need your people whatever they may be.

The rest and life out and about , who cares, we can't expect them to change to suit us.

Good luck.

Albert_247 · ‎21-10-2023

I don't have the reality of a Psychiatrist diagnosing my father with anything, because my Dad would never present his behind doors character to society, I suspect my father is a grandiose narcissist, with OCD and some mild form of autism or aspergers in ways. He always ignores you when talking to him, He looks you beneath your maturity, intelligence, or brain in general, His a very vain - selfish person and often sees my mother as just a maid to be told better or otherwise. He was putting things in my mums head that I shouldn't drive, when there was no reason to be so pessimistic, and when it's a essential need for anyone to be independent. He doesn't see a problem with his kids having no lives, purpose, independence, meaning, success, relationships, but then he would understand why other people would want those things or feel sorry for others, but not his own kids. He only looks at us as inept social hermits or as disabled in some way. He sometimes has his like minded toxic sister that visits our house to go with him to the footy, but she always makes you in that way that your different, special or going through great difficulties and that her boys are normal, even if ones a ice addict and even when her children were trouble that I was never. He also has a friend named Daniel that constantly thinks I'm a loser because I'm 28 without direction, and brings up a mild innocent thing I did at 14 when I spat in his shoe, even though he used to break peoples letter boxes and do so much delinquent things, when I've spent my life with my family behind technology and never was the person to be like other troubled kids, I was too religious and it's not my nature to be like those peoples

white knight · ‎21-10-2023

Hi again,

I'm assuming you live at home? Is that the case ?

The saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but in the last few decades it has been, for a variety of reasons, that children remain in their parents home. This has admittedly baffled me because as children become adults they form a mind of their own and some parents would prefer their children spread their wings so to speak.

What results is a judgement upon them and them upon their children. At 28yo it shouldnt matter if your mother is being manipulated in regards to lifes decisions you need to make for yourself. Is there a reason stopping you from learning to drive? Rent a unit or house? eg if your father is that obnoxious why would you have a constant connection to him daily?

I'd like to talk more when you've painted this full picture of your living situation.

TonyWK

Earth Girl · ‎21-10-2023

Hi Albert,

I can kind of relate. I sometimes think my Dad might be a mid range grandiose narcissist. I feel bad saying that, especially since I really rely on him and he can be genuinely nice when he wants to be, but he acts very similar to your Dad. He acts very differently when behind closed doors than he does when he is in public, he can be really mean to me, my sisters and my Mum when there is no need to be, he acts like he's better than a lot of people and he once told me and my sisters that "females are hopeless creatures." Most people don't believe me when I try to tell them that he's not nice though because he puts on this big act. My current psychologist is the only one who can seem to see it but that's because he doesn't really pretend to be nice when around her for some reason until recent anyway. My Dad also doesn't care that I have no social life and just says "life is great, you should enjoy it" even though his super grumpy all the time and I feel as though I'm actually quite a happy person considering how empty my life is so imagine how happy we would be if our Dad's understood this and we were able to have a good relationship with our Dads? I completely get how you feel. I'm sorry about your Dad's friend Daniel too! He sounds really mean. If one of my friends treated my child like that I'd be so mad. Your Dad shouldn't be okay with Daniel treating you like this. It may not have been right for you to spit in his shoe, but you were very young and that really isn't that bad.

Since I also have a disability and no social life as well, I also understand that you probably rely on your parents a lot so there's no real way you can disconnect yourself from your Dad and he'll probably get mad at you if you did.

Would you like to get your driver's license? If you do, I suggest not letting your Dad be the one to teach you. Could you ask your Mum or some other family member? You have the right to drive if you want to. Can I ask why your Dad doesn't want you to drive?

It's so strange to me that some parents feel bad for other people's children but not their own! Yes, you should care about other people's children, but you should care about your own even more. They should be the most important thing to you. (This is how your Dad should feel about you and I'm so sorry that he doesn't).

Albert_247 · ‎22-10-2023

Hi thanks for your response Earth Girl, I actually have my drivers license and a vehicle and I do drive since the last two years, When I was bringing these points up I was meaning prior when I was going to start driving he was making everyone think I shouldn't be trying, and his sister said similar things also. My Dad's mostly to himself behind the T.V. and keeps quiet but he gets grumpy with my mother here and again, but when I went through all of those things I mentioned to paint his picture I was meaning over the course of my life that's the situational experiences I've had with him. The saddest thing is how I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia because I made teenage destructive suicidalish choices and I've never agreed with the diagnosis as I don't hear voices or have any hallucinations, He exploits the fact that I have no social life or direction as to bring me into to the image of having a disability. He used to say in my early twenties that we missed the boat and when his gone we will be crying

Earth Girl · ‎22-10-2023

I'm sorry to hear all that. I don't get why some fathers just keep to themselves and ignore their children.

Can I ask what he means when he use to say that you missed the boat and you'll be crying when he is gone?

Albert_247 · ‎22-10-2023

I genuinely hate living honestly, because I hate people, but I have my many reasons

1) People often place more importance on materialism then on human existence

2) People are too superficial with image and for being successful

3) Society demonizes your for being religious in the 21st century, they loath you

4) People are shallow and treat their believed good lookers with more love & kindness

5) Society normalizes to be mentally broken, rather then optimal

6) People are vain and inward with themselves, rarely do people have selfless consideration

7) Society normalizes the mainstream with music, politics, and makes others feel weird

😎 People generalize you based on image, ethnic or wealth

9) Doctors are egotistical and don't believe they can mis diagnosis, they don't see themselves as human

10) People seem more confident, hypocritical and confrontational nowadays

11) You get this feeling they make you feel unique, special, rare because you still have a heart today

12) You always feel like you have to prove your decency or anything to society

Albert_247 · ‎22-10-2023

He meant we missed the boat with starting to work when younger and crying when he is gone, because he thinks were going to be financially screwed and probably homeless

Albert_247 · ‎22-10-2023

I appreciate your time with responding Earth Girl, I have also made one final post about why I think the worlds a joke, It may seem like I'm generalizing people, In saying all the things I mention, not everyone may be the same as the next person, I just genuinely believe the majority at least are fitting to the points I mention in that post. Don't think I will post for awhile, I just often get angry that I feel I'm the only one with my reflective feelings.