My Anxiety has turned into Depression. I don't know what to do.

[Moonstruck]

My anxiety seems to have turned into depression that I am not so familiar with.

The past few weeks have had added major traumas/stressors -instead of panic, which I had to control to deal with them then and there I have profound sadness which is not like me. Not the "me" others know anyway. I awake each morning with tears not far away and then they come almost straight after getting up.

I desperately want to ring a friend and say "I am so depressed, I am so sad". The first thing they say is "Why?" and then try and cheer me out of it and begin telling me how THEY are! I put on too good a front you see. This is not the "Moonstruck" they have known for years , they just don't SEE me.

On "R U OK" day no-one asked me! Perhaps a good thing, because I would have told them and they'd have laughed and invited me over to the Club to cheer me up!

When someone takes the ultimate "way out", harms themselves, I won't use the "S" word in case my post won't appear or something , someone always says "Why didn't he/she say something? Why didn't they ask us for help? Why didn't they tell me, Why didn't I see the signs?" I feel like yelling "They DID ask for help, they DID give signs, they DID tell you, there were HEAPS of signs they were in serious trouble...and you Laughed, or brushed it off, or didn't take them seriously.".

"You just couldn't believe such a lovely, capable, "together" person who was coping so well with the ups and downs of life, was TRYING to let you know, you just didn't hear them".

Moderators I am not in danger of doing anything desperate today. I would never leave such a legacy to my kids or grand-kids...just wanted to make a point...because I want to ring a friend and can already anticipate that they will simply not hear what I am saying. I have an appt with psych tomorrow and have a similar worry that I appear so socially OK she won't "get it" either! (my job and whole life journey has required me to be skilled socially and verbally eloquent with excellent communication skills..not always evident on here I realise.....but it does sabotage me a bit when I desperately need comforting)

[CMF]

Oh Moon,

i'm sorry to find you are feeling this way. I didn't check in yesterday as I was at the market and completely exhausted afterward.

i agree that a good distraction may help till you see your go/psych again.

please hang in there Moon, I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

cmf x

[Moonstruck]

Thanks CMF...I am still here but sort of thinking through a fog.

Ms Purple you mentioned Chat Line......have you tried it? What actually happens? Did you find it helpful?

I suppose you have moved to Brisbane by now...hoping our Sunshine State is being kind to you.

[CMF]

Hi Moon,

you have been in my thoughts today. I was wondering, depression can occur when we think in the past. Is there something on your mind that may be triggering your depression? Possibly without you realising what it is?

I'm also quite down at the moment, a few things on my mind, so I'm sending you a big hug and hoping tomorrow us a better day.

cmf x

[Guest_4987]

Hi Moon,

Just called in to say hi and hope you are feeling a bit better.

I think you know i'am a man of few words but what i like to let you know i am thinking of you and hope when you wake to a sunny day the warmth will lift the fog you find yourself in at the moment.

Take Care.

Wayne

[Moonstruck]

thanks Wayne. Now that the school holidays are over up here and "my" beach is not overcrowded with swarms of kids I must plunge into the healing ocean a lot more often than in previous years - I've gotten slack in my old age - no matter what happens in our lives, the tide comes in...and goes out again.....just as it always has!

(wish I could take my own advice LOL)........Hoping things work out for you too my friend. You have a lot to deal with I believe....Goodnight now.

[MsPurple]

Hi Moon. Sorry I didn't go on last night to check in. I was lazy when I landed into beautiful Brisbane weather. I didn't get in till 8.30 because my flight was delayed in Melbourne for over an hour because of weather. I left just to miss the shocking weather Melbourne are having this week compared to up here :_

I haven't actually called the chat line, I have had a friend who has called a similar line before (she can't remember which one she called, she googled one on her smart phone). She just talked to them about whats going on and she just cried. She just needed someone to listen and to get it out. She said they were good, they are trained but she says it is not as good as going in person, but at the time she just needed to talk to someone. It can't hurt giving it a go. Like what do you have to lose? They want to help you and they want to listen, and if it helps you get through the week till your next therapy session then thats great. I have used headspace chat online and I found it helpful when I was really struggling to get through to my next session. You can also do the chat line. Kinda like FB messaging I suppose, but sometimes typing can be hard when tears are streaming.

[Moonstruck]

Glad you made it up here OK Ms Purple. Yeah, the weather is a bit different to Melbourne's isn't it?

If you're ever having a drink or snack at Jo Jo's in the Inner City Queen St Mall, stand on the balcony and look at all the people below....and have one for me will you? One of my favourite places to fill in any time between catching trains or planes etc. Hoping all goes well for you.

[MsPurple]

Hi Moon, I am loving the weather, in the next week the lowest is 24. I can't remember the last time it was 24 in Melbourne.

I am actually going into the city with a girlfriend tomorrow for some drinks and for a social get together. I might check out Jo Jo's and have a drink for you. I love looking at city lights at night too.

All is going well for me. I met some of my future work collegues today which was nice.

[wantalife]

Hey Moon

You've felt pretty crap, don't conclude or become too wrapped up yet. Can just as easily snap back out being a short term episode and back to the old pain in the butt Anxiety. I remember leaving parties early or not even going due to fear of experiencing fear and wanting to get the hell out (And am a pretty decent sized bloke) nothing to do with that. Check your Mates above though and some of the wisdom. It's pretty cool and some amazing people. And it's not fake, we're a team and stick together.. (That's what I believe anyway) Cant wait to hear something cheeky or a spark comment come out of your mouth sooner or later as I think it will. Am learning a lot from reading what those have to say on this site...Don't ever reply from a feeling a courteous. People post as an opportunity to read not as expectation of reply, that's the last thing any of us need. Take Care.

[CMF]

Hey beautiful Moon,

I've caught up with you on other threads but wanted to check in here and see how things are going. Have you had your appointment yet?

Ding 🙂

cmf xxx