Isolated-cold-lonely and depressed.

[Guest_4987]

As i live in an isolated regional area with all the cold weather with my depression i am finding life very hard at the moment. I am not new to BB but have not posted for some months but find myself needed help as I am sliding into a dark place which i seem to carry with me…

With not that much support available in my area at night i decided to reactivate contact on these forums as it was helpful then so why not now. STS

[Guest_1055]

Hey Wayne

Have you been able to keep a bit warmer?

I am now remembering some of your posts from perhaps last year.... you were saying that you over think things at times. Thus causing you do go into the dark place, anyway I was just wondering if you have been doing that?

Also when you said you had layers of clothes on and you were finding it hard to move....a had a vision of an astronaut on the moon. So you helped me smile, so thanks heaps for that.

How are you new little lambs, are they feeding off their mother?

I can send out a hug, if you would care for one. Hope you feel better soon, Wayne. May I say bah...bah....bah to you, even though I do feel a bit silly doing that. But well...you used to write that before, so I thought you might like to read it.

Love

Shell xxx

PS Hi to Lucy

[Guest_4987]

Hi Shelly,

Really good to here from you darling! hope your ok these days. Over thinking things is such a pain for me, I have lately been doing just that and it has had such a negative effect on me but lately i have made a decision not to and in doing that i have improved heaps.

You know when you see vision of astronauts on the moon and they see to move so slowly picture me jumping up and down in one spot on the moon and waving to you with a big smile on my face because i am looking at you..hehehe

Not quit sure how many lambs there are at the moment maybe 100 or so very hard to count them until i get them into the sheep yards, many are just at the age of lambpeeding around at a hundred miles an hour…very funny to watch Shell, Yes they are feeding off there mums and they continue that until i wean them off mum at 3 months. When the weather is fine and a little sun it's not unusual to see twins laying on the back of mum taking in some warm rays looks so cute.

I always like a hug from you Shell makes me feel warm and fuzzy and if i may i'll send one straight back.

When i saw your post i said to Lucy that Shell has sent us a post so i read it to her and i'am quite sure she knew who it was from she looked so excited. I still watch Shaun on tv and still have a good laugh call me silly too but i like the show..very cleaver Bahahahaha.

How have you been Shell let me know whats been going on for you i'd really like to catch up.

Missed you heaps.

Love and more hugs.

Wayne xxx

[Will.i.am]

After a little searching I found your thread.

Reading through I see what you mean our stories are similar. I can relate to much of what you wrote... Except the cold weather. I live for it and am dreading summer.

it sounds like your from Tas. I only mention as I want to move there for the cold weather.

anyways enough about that. Truly appreciate the support and encouragement you've been giving me on my thread. I likewise hope to do the same and check yours out regularly.

[Guest_1055]

Hi there dear Wayne

You sound a bit more brighter I am thinking.

Over 100 little lambs, I have no idea if that is a lot or not. I have been trying to imagine twin lambs stretched out on their mummas backs. Is she like lying on her side or something? I think those lambs properly feel so carefree, just running around and sort of simply trusting that they will be taken care of.

Yes I can easily imagine an astronaut jumping up and down and waving from above. Since I don't know what you look like well... the astronaut in my imagination has a helmet thing on, so I am unable to see much of his face, except the wide smile.

So you have 4 grandchildren, how great is that. I love little ones, how old are they anyway? Are you seeing them around Christmas then?

You asked me how I am... Well I am not in that dark place, so I am very thankful for that. It is an awful alone place, isn't it? I am attending this support group/class on Wednesdays. I have been learning a lot about myself, sort of who I actually am. It is like I have found out a part of me never really grew up or I missed learning stuff when I was younger or something like that. The social aspect of this group is a challenge, as I do have anxiety issues regarding relating to other people. But I will keep plodding on.....

What do you normally do in the evenings then Wayne, after all your farm work is done?

Well I hope I didn't talk about myself too much, I am afraid I may have, after all this is your thread. But anyway here is another hug for you and thank you for mine. Hope you sleep well and that you are nice and warm.

Bye now

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Wayne

Thinking of you, hope you are OK there. Here is another hug if you would like one.

Bye now

Shell xxx

PS Hello Lucy......

[Guest_4987]

Hi to all

its been a while since i have been around…things have changed for me and tonight i have a need to chat some. i have finally found out what has been a my major problem for me over the years…i knew there was physical things happening within my body but thought it was me getting older and the mining accident i had in 1988 but a couple weeks ago i went to see my doctor and told him i was walking with some other persons legs, two days later i lost use of my right arm and leg and ended up in the acute stroke ward..after ct scan, X-rays and 2 MRIs i was told i had MS…the reason i am sharing this with you to let you know the good side of this is that i know now what the real problem is and that makes me feel so much better JUST KNOWING.

[Wednesday]

Hi Wayne,

That is wonderful and not so wonderful news! It is such a relief to know that you are not going mad and there is a reason for your body behaving badly. It's also not so great having anMS diagnosis. I do know that the treatment of MS has come along way and that there are some impressive new biological medications that do amazing things for people. I'm assuming that you didn't have a stroke?

What are the next steps for you?

Thank you for sharing and good luck on your journey.

Hugs for you and Lucy, x

[Guest_1055]

Hi there Wayne

You do sound relived somehow. Like a load has been taken off you. That would feel a bit strange walking with the feeling that they were someone's legs. Are you okay then, like are you needing help at home with your sheep and other farm chores?

Anyway just sending out a friendly hello and friendly hug to you.

Shell x

[Guest_4987]

Hi Shell, how nice it is to hear from you, i do feel like a huge weight has been removed from my being its a bit of a game changer for me, my main concern is wether i can get enough use in my leg and arm to drive…my animals are being feed by a friend so there ok and Lucy was looked after by another friend, now Lucy sits next to me on the lounge and when i lay down she sleeps next to my head and stays untill i get up…how cool is that.

I am so relieved that i seem to be getting some use back in leg and arm so its a positive start to recovery and hope it continues, finishing the house may take more time than i wanted but with a little help it will get done, the hardest thing for me Shelley is to ask for help but my friends have been just great and understand how i feel about such things.

Thanks again Shelley for the friendly hug you are such a great person.

Wayne & Lucy xx

[Guest_4987]

Hi Wednesday,

Your right good and bad news but the reality is know what i am dealing with and yes i didn't have a stroke.

Started on the MS meds which there seems to be little bad side effects for me so thats a good thing, i have help caring for my animals at the moment but my main concern is i hope i will be able to drive my car as i am isolated out here any way i'll cross that bridge at a later date.

Little Lucy is such a good girl if you call two a pack we are one.Hehe

Wayne and Lucy xx