I think i am getting better

[guest75]

As most of you know, my biggest problem since depression got a hold of me has been anger.  My mood would swing towards anger over the smallest things, and i said some horrible things to both my partner and the kids.  I have been on anti-depressants for nearly 5 weeks now,

Last night my mother and I had gotten some tea and my sister asked us to grab her a bottle of wine from the drive thru.  When we get there another car had pulled in just before us, got to the service area turned the car off and all the occupants get out.  They spend the next 15 minutes looking around for what they wanted, while we are stuck in the car waiting.  This is a situation where i normally would have gotten very frustrated and angry, however, my very mild mannered calm mother was the one getting angry and i remained the calm the whole time and told her to chill out and relax.  i think the medication is really working and stopping my moods swinging.  Before the depression got a hold of me, i was different, i didnt get angry like i have over the past few years.  i think im returning to who i was.  if only i could tell Tara, this might all go away, she might see i am changing for the better

I am still struggling with anxiety, my stomach is constantly churning, like i feel something is going to go wrong,  I cant make it stop, only when my mind is distracted does it stop, but as soon as i stop my mind goes straight back to stressing.  Only 10 days to go and at least I will know whats going on, for better or for worse

[guest75]

Scott

Youve got most stuff right except point 11.  I resigned from a job in may last year as my partner thought that may have been the cause of my moods (it was a high stress managerial role) and i started another one in Melbourne (required a relocation for us) this only lasted 6 weeks as my new boss made fat jokes about me and i was told i was required to lie to the EPA and water authority so i resigned from that role and thats when everything went down hill.  my moods got really bad and the fighting got really bad

When it all happened i was left with nothing, i lost my partner and best friend, limited access to see my kids, wasnt allowed to go to my home, no car (she kept this even though its registered in my name), no money at all (all our savings money that we were using to live on while i was unemployed was in her name)

Since then along with everything you have listed i have gotten a job (its in melbourne so driving 1.5 hours each way to it) a bank account in my name only, a car (my sisters both work for a holden dealer and got me a 2001 statesman for $700 on the road!).  I have had an interview for a role in my town where i wont have to travel and have been asked back for a 2nd one next week to meet the owner.  I also have an interview the following week for a really good job, managing 5 laboratories

so along with all the other stuff i have pulled myself up off the canvas and kept fighting, all without my best friend and partner who i have always relied on for emotional support

Oh and I have enrolled in a Mens Behaviour change program (anger management) a group thing that i start in march

[Neil_1]

Hi Matty

Mate, just wanted to let you know that I'm about and thinking of you and your situation.  Scott has produced a ripping post above ... one that you should print out and take and give to your solicitor so they can show the magistrate or whoever is running the show next Tuesday. 

I know it must be bloody difficult right now for you, being so close and all.  Are you working on Monday or have you taken the first couple of days off this coming week?

You need to keep as occupied this weekend as possible.  Have you any thoughts on what you might be doing?  I haven't caught up with your other thread just yet, but am working my way through, so will get there soon.

What about a number of movies?  Hire some out and try to zone out for a while;  I know I know, it's so easy for me to say ... but hopefully there might be things that you can do this weekend to ease your thoughts up a bit.

We're all here for you mate

Cheers

Neil

[guest75]

Hi Neil

The stuff Scott posted i basically already have typed up ready for Tuesday along with some other stuff i have been doing

Plans for the weekend, movies might be a good idea, i dont have much else planned though.  I am working monday, want to keep my mind as busy as possible

I just found some stuff on the computer (stuff shes saved from her phone) and i think she had been cheating on me for the last few months before the IVO.  I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on.  You know what the stupid thing is? I still love her, i still want to be with her even if its true, I am an idiot. i cant stop crying and i've nearly hyperventilated three times already today. what am i meant to do now?

[Jo3]

Oh Matty

I am so sorry that you found that stuff on the computer.  I am feeling for you so much. I am sending you a huge positive bright star hug just for you because you deserve it, you deserve to be back with your family.  You have shown that you have changed and are changing for the better and you are prepared to do whatever it takes to get your family back.

I am sending you my thoughts and prayers that everything works out on Tuesday.  Boy I think we are all hanging out for Tuesday with you.  

Just want to say, keep your chin up, try and stay positive even though what you found out this morning is upsetting and destroying to you.  

Pls Pls take care, thinking of you, trying and relax and do something that you enjoy to do (i know it's easier said than done)

Jo

[Katy100]

(((Matty))) how are you now?  What are you doing? 

It doesn't sound like you are sure she was cheating on you ... maybe she wasn't?  

Think of your kids, eh?  Stay strong for them.  I'll be back in 20 minutes to see how you're going.  

[Katy100]

Just checking on you Matty ... would really like to hear from you.  

[guest75]

The stuff i found there isnt really any other explanation than that...

But how stupid am i for still being in love with her, for still wanting to be with her, if she retracts the IVO on tuesday I would take her back in a second

[Katy100]

Thanks for answering, Matty. 

I don't think people fall out of love easily ... so, no I don't think you're stupid.  

Lots of couples have managed to work through infidelity ... 

Have you thought that she might have needed some comfort when things were difficult?  

[Neil_1]

Matty

Hey, there's Big Bash on now ... I know you're into cricket and there's another game on tonight.

Did you see the One Day International yesterday?  Holy smoke, how good was James Faulkner at the end?

England just can't take a trick can they?

Neil

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Katy

Interesting thought re fizzy drinks and depression

Had a quick look on the web and looks like the latest info indicates that people with depression do drink more fizzy drinks.  However, from what I said it seems like the jury is out as to whether there is mere correlation or an actual causative relationship.

Having said all this, it just makes sense that cutting back on fizzy drinks is a good idea!  Thanks for prompting me to look into it!

Warm regards

Scott