I think i am getting better

[guest75]

As most of you know, my biggest problem since depression got a hold of me has been anger.  My mood would swing towards anger over the smallest things, and i said some horrible things to both my partner and the kids.  I have been on anti-depressants for nearly 5 weeks now,

Last night my mother and I had gotten some tea and my sister asked us to grab her a bottle of wine from the drive thru.  When we get there another car had pulled in just before us, got to the service area turned the car off and all the occupants get out.  They spend the next 15 minutes looking around for what they wanted, while we are stuck in the car waiting.  This is a situation where i normally would have gotten very frustrated and angry, however, my very mild mannered calm mother was the one getting angry and i remained the calm the whole time and told her to chill out and relax.  i think the medication is really working and stopping my moods swinging.  Before the depression got a hold of me, i was different, i didnt get angry like i have over the past few years.  i think im returning to who i was.  if only i could tell Tara, this might all go away, she might see i am changing for the better

I am still struggling with anxiety, my stomach is constantly churning, like i feel something is going to go wrong,  I cant make it stop, only when my mind is distracted does it stop, but as soon as i stop my mind goes straight back to stressing.  Only 10 days to go and at least I will know whats going on, for better or for worse

[guest75]

Hi Scott

I am traveling OK, The anxiety is making me feel sick, but otherwise ok

Thanks for checking up on me

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Matty

Glad you're going ok - can your Doctor / Psych help you with something to help settle the nerves a bit?  Might be worth at least a call to the surgery / office and ask if they can help.

I know you're probably counting down the days till the 21st.  Geoff had some good ideas in his post above - might be a good idea to write a few down, so when you get there you don't forget anything.

Keep taking care of yourself - would be great if you could make a call to see if you can see your doc/psych

Warm regards

Scott

[guest75]

Hi Scott

I had an appt with my psych this morning.  She helped me with some relaxation techniques to deal with (not get rid of) my stress/anxiety

I had an appt on saturday with my GP for a new prescription of my Anti Depressants, he took my blood pressure when i was there and it was high.  I wonder if its related to stress?

Im a big guy, but have NEVER had blood pressure issues and Ive actually lost weight since this all happened (giving up coke will do that) so it just seems weird that now my blood pressure would be high

[Scott_Depression]

Hi Matty

Good on you for making it to appointment – not easy when you’re in your situation. 

Have the relaxation techniques helped at all?  Hope so!

Try not to worry about the blood pressure – it’s your doctor who needs to worry about that.  Just make sure you do your part of the deal take the right meds at the right time and practice those techniques – quite likely it’ll take some time to get the most out of it, but worth sticking to it!

I’m pretty big myself & pretty much addicted to Pepsi Max!!  Was it hard to kick it?  How did you do it?  I get some grief from the wife & kids because I drink so much of it – any tips?

Well done on the positive steps you’re making – reckon it’s time to update your profile picture!!!  Maybe move to horizontal mouth on face?!  Ha ha ha  On a serious note, and this might sound a little silly, but I’ve found myself that if I try to reduce negative images, etc it helps my depression.  Consider changing your face from where you’ve been to where you want to be.  It’s just every time you look at the sad face it can remind you that you’ve been feeling really bad.  If you have happy face, it’s positive reinforcement of where you’re headed to!

Will keep checking on you – well done!!

Kind regards

Scott

[JessF]

Hi Matty, hope you are doing ok after yesterday's news. I think Scott makes a good point, it may seem like a little thing but (and this is something i've noticed with a few people on here and the names they have chosen) to come onto the site and see a sad picture or read a sad name, its like you're saying 'this is me, this is my identity, this is who I am'. And I guess that's how you're feeling, and you want to express that, but you can do that through the words you write. Sometimes I feel like a right loser, but I dont think it would help me very much if I called myself 'loserlady'.

[Katy100]

Matty, I used to get really angry, and one thing I found helpful was asking myself if this incident would still be bothering me next week?  Would I even remember it next week?    

Scott, fizzy drinks have been linked to depression ... and most contain lots of salt.  Does that give you an incentive?  

[guest75]

Hi Scott

The relaxation techniques are working a little, helping me get through when i get down, but its stil lingering in the back of mind

I used to drink about 1L of coke a day or more.  My psych told me that caffeine can make depression and anxiety worse, so i just gave it up cold turkey, i have drunk nothing but water since before christmas.  It was hard but I am willing to do whatever is needed to get my family back, and if that is what it takes then so be it is how i got off it

I will change the avatar when i get home this afternoon (at work on lunch break at the min) but its not going to make me feel any better.  Only 1 thing could do that and i'm becoming more and more afraid i've lost that...

Hi Katy

Yeh the anger management techniques im working on say something similar and also to step away from the situation do something physical to release built up tension and then return.  I havent really had a chance to test them since it all happened which i think is the anti depressants taking the edge off my moods, i dont feel angry, i get annoyed but not angry

[geoff]

dear Matty, boy we can feel your anxiety, and I'm sure all of us can put ourselves in your position, but that's totally different than being there yourself.

I often tell people who are trying to give up alcohol to drink 'tonic water', it has a taste that you may not be familiar with, and that's the punch line.

I can't relieve any thoughts of what's going to happen to you, but the important part, and hell it's hard, is to not think in a negative way, because if you do then you will go into court with your eyes shut, and then won't have the ability to think rationally, logically, and when asked a question you will have no idea of what to say.

Matty this is a test for you and not caused by you, but by Tara's solicitor and the magistrate, you have improved 100 % and you want to re join your kids as well as Tara, so as much as it's so difficult go into court nicely dressed, maybe clean shaven and hold your head high, which shows that you have changed.

Keep posting we have to encourage you to be as you are now. Geoff.

[Scott_Depression]

Good on you Matty – doing well! 

An unfortunate side effect of our illness is that it's sometimes (actually most of the time) hard to give ourselves a pat on the back & celebrate the little victories!  It’s a bit of a cliché but every long journey starts with a single step.

Let’s recap what I’ve learnt so far about you:

You had BAD depression and mood swings and acted bad toward those you love BUT you:

1. Went to the doctors WIN!

2. Got prescribed medicine to help get those brain chemicals back into balance WIN!

3. Have regularly taken meds as prescribed BIG WIN!

4. Have seen your mood and anger stabilise MASSIVE WIN!

5. Stayed calm even when others around you were very irate WIN!

6. You’ve gone onto Beyond Blue and sought advice & friendship WIN!

7. Sounds like you’ve complied with Tara’s intervention order WIN!

8. You checked in with your psych & learned coping strategies for your condition WIN!

9. You APPLIED the coping strategies as instructed BIG WIN!  (it’s easy to learn but fail to follow through)

10. Given up Coke and dropped weight to improve your health (even though it’s a side effect of anxiety, still helps you feel better)

11. Through all of this, you’ve managed to hold down your job PRETTY AMAZING WIN, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED!!

All of this has been achieved in EXTREMELY stressful circumstances

Try and reply these achievements in your mind – judging from where you came from, you’ve done everything humanly possible!

Kind regards

Scott

[guest75]

Hi Geoff

The anxiety is destroying me at the minute.  I am using the relaxing techniques my psych taught me and it is helping a little, it stops me from crying/breaking down but it doesnt get rid of the sense of dread

I will be wearing a suit, my solicitor said its not neccesary, just a collared shirt is fine, but i will wear it.  I dont do clean shaven, i havent been clean shaven since i was about 17 🙂 It is neat.  From my understanding I wont be speaking with the magistrate on tuesday.  My solicitor can speak with hers and see if she will retract it (tell her what ive been doing etc).  If not, then we are given another court date where I will tell the magistrate everything in approx a months time