So my tax return came through today, and I briefly had money. Then I sent it off to the ex to pay back rent I owe. Now I don't owe him rent at least, but I could have used thatmoney for alot of things to rebuild my life. Courses for barista qualifications, an actual laptop to write and study again.
The I sult was that he sent me an email in response saying thankyou and that his boss had extended his contract so he wasn't afraid of getting exicted anymore. Information I didn't ask for. Good to know his life is going so damn well, while I sit ready to burst into tears. Just like him, to be nice when I do what he wants and pay him money and be nasty when his life is going down hill.
UGGGGGGGH. That man...... *shakes fists*
I got to my gp, my housemate gave me a lift because of my leg. All good with the antidepressants, follow up in two weeks. I have definitely at least pulled a muscle in my calf (she named it but I don't remember complicated words when stressed) probably torn it. Diagnosis is two weeks of rest, with light exercise after a few days. If it gets worse come back sooner, other wise if it is better in two weeks it is just a pulled muscle. If it isn't investigation into how badly it is damaged.
Given I don't have a car, it is annoying.
I walked/bussed it home because anxiety started to kick in and I didn't want to bug my housemate for a lift when he has helped out the past few days. I know. It isn't resting my leg. I almost broke down in the gp. I was shaking with anxiety for once, so maybe the hypnotherapy is working. I have been on the verge of tears all day though.
I cried at the bus stop when I got rained on. I cleaned up before the bus came.
Just all this stress of what I have to do in this divorce, all his flip flopping attitudes. I am sick of dealing with it. I never wanted it to end this way. I didn't want to be this person.
Just a mess of tears, anger, pain and hurt right now. I think when I go get cst food I am going to get extensive amounts of chocolate and eat it all. Dentist be damned.
GA
