Hi Cloudydaze,
I have experienced similar issues with my partner and I've been in and out of wanting to stay or go but I'm glad I stayed cause recently I finally decided to take meds as I have fought them for years and didn't want to take them but it was the best thing for us both. He said that I'm my old self again and now that I'm more balanced I can see the way I was treating him in my crazy depressed haze.
My husband has been through so much and their reactions are self preservation, they don't want to make things worse but they want to be as supportive as they can even if we think they are being jerks.
I recently encountered a psych who wanted to see us both and help us sort our stuff out but the truth is my husband is cynical about psychology and he's not interested. I'm ok with this because he doesn't interfere with my need to go to one and things are getting better because I'm getting better.
I took a step back from him to give him space because when I reached my depressed peak before meds I was in his skin so much he was started to despise me. Its important we let our partners work out what they need to do for themselves especially because we're often trying to make it better and we usually make things worse
Giving them space is ok and healthy and some of the hard stuff has a chance to soften around the edges if we're not insisting on working it out.
I hope this helps a little, I know it can be tough when another person has been through it all with you
Take care and Go Gently x
