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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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BenD For the helpers.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Read an excellent post by Lizoria earlier this evening regarding how even those who help others with their mental health issues often struggle to talk about their own problems. The thread is here. In her words, " Saying this here, recording i... View more

Hi all, Read an excellent post by Lizoria earlier this evening regarding how even those who help others with their mental health issues often struggle to talk about their own problems. The thread is here. In her words, " Saying this here, recording it in little bits and bytes on the face of the internet, makes me really realise how unhelpful keeping a 'brave face' is. But it is also very liberating to just let people in the world know that I'm not as tough as I like to think I am, and that it's ok" I'm feeling pretty shoddy at the moment, its almost 4am here in Perth and I'm feeling a bit down, but thanks to the help I've received on this website I know it will pass. Once the feeling goes I can get back to helping as well. So thankyou all who listen and contribute, you are doing a great job and should you ever need help we are here for you too, just as much as we are here for everyone else. Ben

Girl_Anachronism Spontaneous Emotional Combustion
  • replies: 23

I hadn't posted in a month or so but I am not going well so here I am. I am alive but most definitely not well. Since it has been a while, I'll try put everything that has happened in a short a description as possible. I am off crutches but still in ... View more

I hadn't posted in a month or so but I am not going well so here I am. I am alive but most definitely not well. Since it has been a while, I'll try put everything that has happened in a short a description as possible. I am off crutches but still in a knee brace from the post surgical fall i had a month ago.I have been suffering fatigue and other symptoms which i am not sure of the cause of but it has been going on for three weeks now. I have had an MRI and am waiting for the results.I am hoping they find something but i am terrified if what that something could be. I have a doctors appointment Sunday.My partner has a dislocated shoulder with little sign of recovery. They are investigating surgery. It is severely impacting her mental health and she has had to defer uni.I am 4 weeks behind in uni. I have been to five lectures, out of a possible 30. I have not studied at all at home due to all of the factors above, hospital visits to my girlfriend, driving to the ed with her at the wee hours of the morning. I need to do three units to get paid, but I am worried that i won't be able to catch up. Failing could be the trigger for another year long breakdown.My relationship with my partner is strong, but she has her own problems and we are working out how to care for each other and ourselves. We recently moved from a share house with far too many boys and a passive aggressive landlady to a homes west unit of our own. I am writing surrounded by furniture and boxes. This accommodation is more stable and long term, plus far more private which is what we both need.A close family friend passed on the 13th. Her death has affected my sister most greatly, but I miss her too. I was unable to attend the funeral because I was too sick to go. I will pay my respects another day. Her death was sudden and unexpected and everyone is sill a little shell shocked.Some mornings I wake up and instead of not being able to get out of bed because of physical illness, i can't motivate myself to move. I feel depression licking at my heels, slowly sucking me further under. Having been there before I can recognise it, but don't know how to fight it. i am in a bad head space. I know that. I have booked respite for a week, starting Sunday. i feel like I am abandoning my partner just after we moved in but i am stressing so much that I need the break. I need help. GA

Bubblemum Dear Depression, an open letter to my constant companion
  • replies: 10

Dear depression, You may have won the battle but you have not won the war. I forget what a sneaky A-hole you can be!!!I know you are stalking me and I take delight in knowing your confusion today when trying to find me. I am not where you presumed me... View more

Dear depression, You may have won the battle but you have not won the war. I forget what a sneaky A-hole you can be!!!I know you are stalking me and I take delight in knowing your confusion today when trying to find me. I am not where you presumed me to be. Were you surprised when you checked the bedroom? Expecting to find me curled up crying with the curtains drawn so you could climb in beside me and whisper you evil sweet nothings in my ear. No dear constant companion, I refuse to do that today. It may surprise you to learn that whilst you skulk around the corner I have been out walking with the dog (oh I sense how you loathe that puppy that chases you away). My garden is watered, the courtyard swept, the poop patrol done all without your constant dark neediness. I have taken and posted my photo for today, yes yes you abhor the pleasure I get from being creative.I can hear you, I can almost smell you, I feel you whining and grasping but I won't be playing with you today.Today you will lurk and I will give you no power.Until we play again, yours truly, Me

bluewhippet First time posting
  • replies: 9

So I’m new to this. I’m a little stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’m having a lot of trouble trying to put it into words because I didn’t actually realise that other people don’t experience this until a few years ago. I’m always some level of sad,... View more

So I’m new to this. I’m a little stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’m having a lot of trouble trying to put it into words because I didn’t actually realise that other people don’t experience this until a few years ago. I’m always some level of sad, depressed, anxious, tense or wired or numb. A few years ago I finally worked up the courage to go the doctor and was set up with a mental health plan and to see a counsellor, but it was a disaster and I haven’t managed to work up the same energy to try again. She seemed to have already developed an opinion on what was wrong with me and I felt she was trying to steer my thoughts in that direction. She seemed annoyed that I didn’t consider myself to have suffered any trauma at any point to have triggered this? I really don’t think she was paying attention. Very frustrating. The thought of trying again is utterly exhausting. I can’t make or maintain new friendships/relationships and I end up very lonely, but other times I can’t bear the thought of being around anyone. I’ve been using an unhealthy and not ideal coping method for a very long time. I feel like it’s very obvious that something isn’t right – I’ve never been in a relationship, I haven’t made new friends since I left school (10 years ago) I never go anywhere, I don’t drive etc. I hate having my photo taken and sometimes I just can’t hide my discomfort at simple things, like ordering a drink. My family tease me about it sometimes, so they do notice. I keep thinking that no one asks me what’s up because to them, it’s unsurprising that a person like me can’t find anyone who wants to be around them. It feels very much like there’s something awful about me that my family are too polite to point out. Sometimes I can’t bear to look at my face and I have to turn all the lights off to shower so I don’t have to look at any part of me. I didn’t know it was a thing that people could like or enjoy being themselves because I’ve never experienced that. I don’t like people to hug or compliment me, because I always feel it’s disingenuous. Sometimes the world feels full of ulterior motives and other times it feels like there’s nothing there at all and I have no idea what to do with that. I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life but I have no idea how to fix it. I don’t know how to say all the things that are wrong because I’m not convinced that it’s unrelated to how worthwhile a person I am. Would love some advice from this great forum.

Raia Destroying my family and friend relationships :(
  • replies: 4

My depression is contributing to the breakdown of my relationship with my partner. I try so hard to explain what I am going through to him but he never seems to understand and tells me I am fine and that there is nothing wrong with me. Why do I feel ... View more

My depression is contributing to the breakdown of my relationship with my partner. I try so hard to explain what I am going through to him but he never seems to understand and tells me I am fine and that there is nothing wrong with me. Why do I feel like there is more going on with me? There is a distinct line between managing on a daily basis with your emotions having highs and lows, and dealing with depression, separation, trauma, loss and grief? Or am I the only one? I feel like I am alone on the subject of depression within my family and friends.

Laynelove Chronic life long problems
  • replies: 4

So I've finally come to the realisation that the type of depression I suffer from is chronic and will be part of me for life. how do you accept that you will never enjoy life, never feel loved, never be fulfilled and still find the strength to get up... View more

So I've finally come to the realisation that the type of depression I suffer from is chronic and will be part of me for life. how do you accept that you will never enjoy life, never feel loved, never be fulfilled and still find the strength to get up every day?? How do I keep going when I'm beyond help

Peter_Loopy Destroying My Love
  • replies: 3

It`s ironic. many, many years ago I loved a young girl. She became the mother of my first born and immediately told me to leave. She was only sixteen and I 22. I married soon after another girl and remained married for 28 years having three children ... View more

It`s ironic. many, many years ago I loved a young girl. She became the mother of my first born and immediately told me to leave. She was only sixteen and I 22. I married soon after another girl and remained married for 28 years having three children with her. We had a good relationship for many years although it was my first love I always pined for. My wife suffered depression as she knew where my heart was amongst other issues. My reply to her for years was get over it depressions is all BS. About 6 years ago I suffered serious depression and ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks over Christmas. I feel so guilty now for being so harsh about her depression. Until I went through it I could not understand just how debilitating it is. Three years ago almost to the day I met up with my first love again. Tears flowed, love reignited. We both took the step and left our long term partners, and now live together in northern Qld. I love her dearly passionately and with my whole heart. We have lots of issues to deal with. We both grew up in entirely different situations and had entirely different marriages. My love has no understanding of depression and how to deal with me when I am depressed. My issue is I am so insecure it is ridiculous (when I am well) however so depressing when I am not well. My depression is killing my relationship something so precious to me. I appear to cycle with the highs and lows, first it was six weekly now it seems to be weekly and I cant remember the last weekend I enjoyed and had fun.... I don't want to lose this lady but if something doesn't change and soon I am almost destined to destroy what I have wanted for so long because I cannot control my depression.

Boch Depressed Mum
  • replies: 4

My partner walked out in me seven months ago and I feel like I'm not coping. I have 3 children ages 2,7 and 12. My oldest two are from a previous marriage. My ex is living in another town so doesn't see his son much. I feel like everything is too muc... View more

My partner walked out in me seven months ago and I feel like I'm not coping. I have 3 children ages 2,7 and 12. My oldest two are from a previous marriage. My ex is living in another town so doesn't see his son much. I feel like everything is too much and I can't sleep at night. I used to love life but now I don't feel happy anymore. I know I should snap out of it and I try to stay strong for the kids but I find each day a struggle. I did go to see a doctor but he wouldn't give me antidepressants as he said it just seemed like it was situational.

Litoria My tough-girl disguise is getting a little threadbare
  • replies: 4

I hide my depression from everyone and it's exhausting. The irony is I work for a mental health organisation who are focussed on breaking down stigma and encouraging people to talk about mental health. So why can't I talk to the people around me, who... View more

I hide my depression from everyone and it's exhausting. The irony is I work for a mental health organisation who are focussed on breaking down stigma and encouraging people to talk about mental health. So why can't I talk to the people around me, who are likely to be more understanding than anyone? Appearing strong, brave, confident and ready for anything seems to be such a core part of how I want to portray myself. I remember reaching out to my mum a few years ago when things were very bad, just before I started taking medication for the first time. When I told her how weak and hopeless I felt she responded, with utter surprise, 'but you're the strongest person I know!' Unfortunately this desire to show people that I'm doing ok has been a real barrier to getting help. I will make an appointment with my doctor with the intention of getting a referral to a counsellor. But when we're sitting face to face in that little pastel blue room and he says 'so how are you?' I say 'I'm fine!' and start to tell him about how well I'm doing and how I'm trying to do all of this really positive stuff to help myself. I don't need anybody! I've got this sorted! When I have gone to see a counsellor in the past, I've done much the same. After the first few sessions of unburdening, I feel the need to show them that they are helping me and that I'm trying hard, so I just start to say 'yeah, things are good, I think this is working really well, I'm feeling so much better'. The problem is, we've never really got to the heart of my problems. I think I just want them to approve of me and my progress and then I disengage. Saying this here, recording it in little bits and bytes on the face of the internet, makes me really realise how unhelpful keeping a 'brave face' is. But it is also very liberating to just let people in the world know that I'm not as tough as I like to think I am, and that it's ok. So thanks for listening to me, even though I don't know you, it's nice to know that there are people out there who know I'm just as frail and sensitive as everyone else.

Suzy_Q My description of depression to my family and friends.
  • replies: 14

If you have never suffered from depression I don't expect you to understand it, you can't. That is not meant as a put down, it's just fact. It's like I cannot understand what it's like to be gay or black etc. What I can do, is accept that these thing... View more

If you have never suffered from depression I don't expect you to understand it, you can't. That is not meant as a put down, it's just fact. It's like I cannot understand what it's like to be gay or black etc. What I can do, is accept that these things that I don't understand are a part of the world I live in and support those that struggle with their issues. Depression can be frightening to those that have never had it. Having the blues and feeling down is something that we all go through and in no way can be compared to clinical depression. Depression is hard to describe, but one way it can be expressed is like a Black Dog. There can be times when that dog will attack, overwhelm, have you down on the ground ripping at your heart and your throat until you reach a point that you want to succumb. It is physical pain. Then, when you receive help, medication, support, you fight back, you tame the dog, teach it to sit quietly and calmly. Understand though, that the black dog never dies, it is always there, ready to spring at you again and attack if it is not kept under control. This is the fear that depression sufferers feel every single day, that it might attack again, and at various times it does. It is a skill you need to learn to recognise when the black dog is stirring, ready to attack. This may sound ridiculous and fanciful if you haven't been down there, but it is only my description of it. Be there when you can and listen, don't try to offer answers, just support. Also recognise please, that if a depression sufferer is upset, angry, sad, that these emotions are not necessarily caused by the depression, sometimes we have valid reasons for these feelings, as does everyone else. Don't look at us and think 'oh it's the depression' I suffer from depression, yes, but I am not defined by it. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.