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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Gajas Depression like a fire - Sometimes it smolders, sometime it's an uncontrollable inferno.
  • replies: 4

I've been dealing with depression for appox. 40 years. It's everpresent, smoldering, then suddenly flaring into an all consuming feeling of loss, fear, approaching doom and dreadfully explainable loneliness. It's a pit so dark and deep no light can b... View more

I've been dealing with depression for appox. 40 years. It's everpresent, smoldering, then suddenly flaring into an all consuming feeling of loss, fear, approaching doom and dreadfully explainable loneliness. It's a pit so dark and deep no light can be seen. Noone can know what it's like unless they've been there, it's the most foreign of foreign places, you can't fully explain it to someone that hasn't been there and seen the sites. But, the misery passes and medication can help, it may take some searching until you find the right doctor/s and meds, but you must keep searching. My greatest regrets bought about by my condition is the pain l've caused to people that love and care for me. I hate my own self pity, l've seen some awful things, l've been directly involved in the accidental deaths of at least two people, one of them was a small girl. I'm here whining about how miserable l feel, l can't even begin to know the misery l caused the family of these people, accidently or not. Today l was asked to recall detail some of the trauma l've witnessed and its left me feeling empty and dead inside. I know it'll pass, but while it's here the pain is almost unbearable. Writing things down or talking is cathartic, it lets some of the mental pus out of the abcess l live with. Thank you for the oppurtunity to write this here and thank you for taking the time read it. It has eased the pain and settled the flames a little in the process.

Amy_G What does it feel like to feel "numb"?
  • replies: 4

I'm supposed to be like...noticing what I feel more and like getting in touch my emotions etc. but I don't think I really feel much? Like...I have reactions to things, e.g. we just got netflix and I was like "yes that's awesome" but I don't think I r... View more

I'm supposed to be like...noticing what I feel more and like getting in touch my emotions etc. but I don't think I really feel much? Like...I have reactions to things, e.g. we just got netflix and I was like "yes that's awesome" but I don't think I really felt anything physically in my body, it was just a thought? I think I used to feel more than that? Maybe? Idk? And one of my grandparents who I wasn't all that close to died and I was just like "I should act sad because that's a sad thing", even during the funeral I was just...fine? Like I didn't care? Usually I cry pretty easily, at least in sympathy with other criers, and my mum, sister and cousins were all at least sniffling and I wasn't even doing that? And I know when people are depressed sometimes they end up feeling numb, or they feel flat, or dead, or like they have no feelings, but I'm not all that sure what is actually meant by that? And usually I read about this being connected with losing interest in things they like which isn't what I'm experiencing... I still enjoy things, at least I think I do? Like I entertain myself, and there are still things that I like doing to fill my time. But then life doesn't ever actually seem worth living so I guess I'm not enjoying things that much, but I've felt like that for at least two years so that's not exactly a new thing...but I'm pretty sure I used to have a lot more feelings than this. I was sad, at least, and stressed. I remember that. Tbh I just feel really chill...like nothing truly bothers me, like I just don't care. But I'm kind of confused about this whole thing and I'm not quite sure what's going on here, so I was wondering what other's people's experiences were with having less or no feelings during depression? What was this experience like? Could you still be entertained by things? Could things still make you laugh etc? I'm not even sure what I'm really asking for here...just anything anyone can say that relates to anything I've written here lol - Amy G

Cloudydaze considered attention seeking - escalates guilt
  • replies: 4

I have differed clinical depression for 23+ yrs and every rpisode has pushed my husband firther away. I seem to blame him for all my failings when i get caught up in the blurred space between reality and depressed reality. I dont know how to bridgevt... View more

I have differed clinical depression for 23+ yrs and every rpisode has pushed my husband firther away. I seem to blame him for all my failings when i get caught up in the blurred space between reality and depressed reality. I dont know how to bridgevthe gap that just keeps getting bigger! He says he loves me but stands back and watches me slide further into the black hole! Any ideas?

Girl_Anachronism Glass Walls
  • replies: 324

Hi all, The old thread was getting a bit long, so I thought time to start a new. I thought the same with this weekend - I did my new patterns of blue and purple, wore the beautiful black and gold dress. I went to the convention I normally go to in co... View more

Hi all, The old thread was getting a bit long, so I thought time to start a new. I thought the same with this weekend - I did my new patterns of blue and purple, wore the beautiful black and gold dress. I went to the convention I normally go to in costume. Just for one day, not in costume. It is the first time since my separation from the ex, whom I went in cosplay with. It is the first time catching up with people who I haven't seen since the break up. Or I thought I would. I went and shopped a very little as I have big bills this week. I took the anti anxiety meds, tried to squash the shakes and held up the mask for the kids. The feeling wasn't good though. I tried talking to a few friends in the costume community I bumped into but it was like they didn't even know me. They soon made excuses and left. I know its busy, they see lots of people and there are so many crowds, but it felt like they just barely recognised me, and when they did they couldn't wait to leave. I looked around, and it felt like I was surrounded by glass walls. Like now that everyone on my friends list knows about my depression, how bad it got, etc they don't want to know me. I asked how they were, I didn't bring it up. I just feel dejected, and lonely, like I have no friends in the world. Like they don't care. I am irritable and not good around the kids, so I am hiding in my doona listening to a podcast. I'm really alone in this now aren't I? I say I keep going for my cats, for my little Elsa. I hold on to the thought of watching her grow up, because I can find no other reasons to stay. GA

MillyMolly Why do I still feel so lost and alone when I have a loving partner and family and friends who support me?
  • replies: 6

I am in my mid 30's I have had anxiety since primary school and depression since high school, I have a husband, family and friends who love and support me but still I feel so lost and alone. I have no motivation to do anything. I sleep eat and go to ... View more

I am in my mid 30's I have had anxiety since primary school and depression since high school, I have a husband, family and friends who love and support me but still I feel so lost and alone. I have no motivation to do anything. I sleep eat and go to work like a zombie, my hubby has depression also so I try not to worry him with my issues. I am mostly depressed about my money situation debts bills, I hate my job, I worry about not ever being able to have kids. Mostly I just want to feel normal and have the energy to be active and make the most of life but instead I just feel miserable 90% of the time

Jenny_B Newby reaching out.
  • replies: 8

Just joined the site so will keep it short for now. I have Major Depression and Fibromyalgia amongst other things. Right now I have that horrible feeling of alienation from the world, pain, brain fog etc. I now have a support system but it doesn't fi... View more

Just joined the site so will keep it short for now. I have Major Depression and Fibromyalgia amongst other things. Right now I have that horrible feeling of alienation from the world, pain, brain fog etc. I now have a support system but it doesn't fill the blankness of the days, lack of motivation, fatigue and a feeling of pointlessly existing. Confused that I want no physical contact with people but am so isolated and alone at the same time. Not sure what I want, just know that Beyond Blue is a really good organisation. Hugs, J

DWR A month alone
  • replies: 7

I have had depression as long as I can remember. Its gotten fairly bad the last few months. I am on medication but haven't worked up the courage to see a therapist (I have many times in the past but I never connect with them) My boyfriend who I live ... View more

I have had depression as long as I can remember. Its gotten fairly bad the last few months. I am on medication but haven't worked up the courage to see a therapist (I have many times in the past but I never connect with them) My boyfriend who I live with has just gone to America for the month of April. It has been one weekend and I feel desperately alone. My co-workers tell me Ill be fine if I have my friends over all the time. Truth is I have no friends, my boyfriend is my only friend and he is gone. To sound like a crazy cat lady, we got 2 kittens before he left as company for me. I don't know what I would do if they weren't here and it was just me..

AdelT Trapped in a well
  • replies: 3

Hi please call me Adel,Mental illness has had its grip on me form many many yeas and has recently taken a dark turn. I am off work a the moment and don't know if I will ever return, I am waiting for a psych evaluation to see if I have bipolar disorde... View more

Hi please call me Adel,Mental illness has had its grip on me form many many yeas and has recently taken a dark turn. I am off work a the moment and don't know if I will ever return, I am waiting for a psych evaluation to see if I have bipolar disorder (at my request). I have been on and off anti-depressants since my early 20's, I am now 34. I feel so lost and struggle with whats real and whats been a dream, a lot of the time now I just want to sleep as its the only time i feel free, when im awake i feel nothing but pain in my head and inside. I feel so alone right now. Adel beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

losttraveller I thought my depression was gone but now i'm not to sure
  • replies: 1

A few years ago my mum passed away suddenly and it left me in a state of shock, anxiety and depression. For a year I was really mentally unwell, no motivation, lost my orientation, couldn't do daily tasks, numb to the world and very very sad. I then ... View more

A few years ago my mum passed away suddenly and it left me in a state of shock, anxiety and depression. For a year I was really mentally unwell, no motivation, lost my orientation, couldn't do daily tasks, numb to the world and very very sad. I then practiced meditation and mindfulness, this gave me the strength to atleast live a normal life but i still felt imbalanced, so i was medicated. It was the help i needed. I was on the medication for a year and then felt like i was ready to come off them. I was able to live off them happily. It has been a year since ive taken them or suspected i needed them. But recently I have moved away from my family and friends and don't know anyone except for my boyfriend. I have made new friends but they aren't like my ones at home. I now spend most of the day alone and find myself thinking too deeply into life, i find myself not having motivation, i find myself sometimes just wanting to cry. I called a help line because i really needed someone to talk to, i asked her if i should take my medication again and she said that its a decision i should make myself. i decided that i should, but when i tried to find them they are lost. now i have a little anxiety knowing that i dont have my medication there for the 'just incase' times. I'm not sure if i am depressed because i feel like a smoldering flame of sadness rather than the blazing fire of sadness i felt before. But i do know i don't feel happy most days. I'm not sure if its homesickness and loneliness, lack of familiarity and support or if i'm just mentally weak and can't handle life as easily as others seem to. I'm not sure what to do. i do feel like my mind isn't chemically balanced because i don't feel chemically balanced. Can anyone offer any advice? I don't have anyone to talk to about it that will understand.

dazel69 from bad to worse
  • replies: 12

Hi, i been diagnosed with depression for several years, i was on medication but came off them last year as they weren't making a difference. At the time my depression was only mild. Now its a different story i feel like ive hit rock bottom. I love my... View more

Hi, i been diagnosed with depression for several years, i was on medication but came off them last year as they weren't making a difference. At the time my depression was only mild. Now its a different story i feel like ive hit rock bottom. I love my wife dearly but our marriage has been struggling over the last 6-12 months its been getting worse. I now find out she has been speaking to someone online for several months (its only that long because i guessed that long I suspect its longer). This has been very personal but she wont tell me how personal or anything and if i ask she gets angry. I was already getting worse before this and i know its my fault it happened but im really struggling every day now. I though i was a strong person but i now cry at the drop of a hat and have more dark thoughts than i would like (only thoughts). It was hard enough dealing with the depression and now this id just making it worse. I know i need help and im in the process of seeking guidance from a counselor but im at a loss. I cant stop thinking about it, i cant sleep, My mood is up and down like a yo-yo. I know she loves me but i feel im shouldering all the blame. Every time i bring it up its okay your going to see a counselor, we will get you better. Im stuck i dont know what to do and im sliding down a slippery slope.