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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jellyfish losing my mind.
  • replies: 2

I'm not really sure what's going on in my head or if I have depression. I've always had anxiety and I have a history of self harm and eating issues. I've recently found it's an effort to breathe, I'm constantly waiting out the day before I can get ba... View more

I'm not really sure what's going on in my head or if I have depression. I've always had anxiety and I have a history of self harm and eating issues. I've recently found it's an effort to breathe, I'm constantly waiting out the day before I can get back into bed, on a general day I'll try to be in bed asleep before 10pm and I wont wake up till mid day. I don't want to leave my room, let alone my house, I find myself avoiding most of my friends and family and when I do go out, I want to be some form of intoxicated so I can block everything out or I hate that I'm out of my comfort zone, aka my bed. I'm finding it difficult to hold onto a job and I'm failing most things at uni, which is all very unlike me. I just feel so alone all the time, like nobody really cares or if they do that they have their own issues to deal with and I don't want to burden them with my crappy, self loathing garbage. I just feel selfish being so low all the time but I don't want to smile anymore and pretend that I'm happy. I'm scared of the thought of depression but I'm also scared I'll never be happy again. I don't want to be here anymore and honestly I don't really have anything left. I don't know who to talk to and I'm sick of everything. I don't want to sleep my life away but I can't breathe without the pressure of the world forcing me to stay in my bed.

Beetle Terrified: Have to aknowledge I got depression & anxiety but need to start new job.
  • replies: 3

Hi I just got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and put on meds. I must have suffered this for years even decades before beingf diagnosed, but got my symptoms in check with alcohol,selfharm,heaps of work and just abusing my body. Now i fin... View more

Hi I just got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and put on meds. I must have suffered this for years even decades before beingf diagnosed, but got my symptoms in check with alcohol,selfharm,heaps of work and just abusing my body. Now i finish uni and got job offers. YEAH. its cool to get job offers.But im terrified. Problem: I know i got a problem but havent aknowledged that i have depression and anxiety. I cant get it into my head, I want to take the really cool job. But it requires moving house.Away from friends, my beach and my doc and psychologist. I dont know what to do. Should i stay and take the second cool job or push myself to go for the cool job? Im so confused. Im angry that I have depression and anxiety. I want just go and be determoied as i always been. But now being on meds and being diagnosed im terrified that if i move house and leave all the good people behind that i might crash. I feel i am two people: the brain ( wanting the cool job) and the body ( wanting to stay with friends) I know i can only make this decsion. But i struggle. I dont know what to do. Should i give my diagnoses so much power to take a second offer job? Or should i ignore them diagnoses and just go for it risking I crash ? Sorry for the rambling. My life is in a kind of mess at the mo. Thanks for listening. beetle

Grumblebee hopeless and exhausted
  • replies: 3

I was diagnosed with depression in 2010 just a few weeks before my wedding. Earlier that year I had moved interstate to regional NSW to be with my partner. I was full of excitement and hope for the life my new husband and I were starting together. 3 ... View more

I was diagnosed with depression in 2010 just a few weeks before my wedding. Earlier that year I had moved interstate to regional NSW to be with my partner. I was full of excitement and hope for the life my new husband and I were starting together. 3 years later and I feel like every decision I’ve made was the wrong one. I feel so isolated and lonely. The town we moved too turns out to not be very welcoming of strangers and despite trying very hard I still have no friends. I couldn’t get a job in my industry so have been working in retail out of necessity and hate every minute of it. We are in a lot of debt and can’t sell our house without doing major renovations and we simply don’t have the funds to do so; so moving back home is not an option. About two months ago I was thinking about committing suicide at work. I told my husband, saw my GP who upped my medication dose and have been waiting ever since to get an appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist because no one seems to have their books open to new patients in my area. I’m exhausted and so unhappy. I feel like telling my friends back home to just write me off because I feel like the old me is gone and will never come back and the new me is a stupid, sad loser not worth having in their lives.

Aishwarya What are the reasons i should live?
  • replies: 2

im an indian girl living in australia , majority of the time i feel like my life would have been better at india , here i feel so alone as my parents district me from anything and everything. i can't even stay home alone for more than 10 mins , my pa... View more

im an indian girl living in australia , majority of the time i feel like my life would have been better at india , here i feel so alone as my parents district me from anything and everything. i can't even stay home alone for more than 10 mins , my parents go through everything i own , so I'm limited to keeping a diary or anything , i have no social life and am not aloud to do basically anything i want to do. i constantly feel low and just wanna end everything completely.i just feel so heavy each morning to wake up another day and live, i can't really be bothered anymore with anything anymore. i feel useless and stupid. i see no good future ahead and it would be better for me and the people around me if i ended things now wouldn't it?

Tummy40 Almost done. Struggling big time.
  • replies: 4

Hi. This is a first for me and it's not something I usually do. I normally just read other people's comments and compare them to myself and then try and take some comfort in the replies they get back. My story is that I work as a geologist and I've j... View more

Hi. This is a first for me and it's not something I usually do. I normally just read other people's comments and compare them to myself and then try and take some comfort in the replies they get back. My story is that I work as a geologist and I've just been let go again. The industry at the moment is so bad. I don't look like getting another job for a long time and I'm not even sure I want one. I am always working in remote locations and constantly alone. I am now 43 and I didn't mind doing it when I was a younger fella. I just feel like I am done. I've had enough. I made the wrong choice to get into this industry because it has taken me away from everybody that I love and it is also so volatile. People are so easily discarded. I know, you are probably thinking blah, blah, blah. i know I'm depressed. Have been taking medication for 10yrs. I've just started drinking heavily again since I got my notice from work. Got up this morning and drank half a bottle of bourbon then went to work. In a taxi, I wouldn't drive when I'm like this. I just can't focus on anything. I have no joy or fun in my soul like I use to. Nothing seems like it will help. I don't even think my meds help anymore. I really need help because I don't know if I will be around much longer if I don't get some. Please, anyone.

MaryG Update
  • replies: 4

So haven't been on here for a while. Seems there are some changes to the site to speed things up. That has to be a good thing. When I am desperate it helps to know that someone else out there is listening and takes the time to respond. If that post d... View more

So haven't been on here for a while. Seems there are some changes to the site to speed things up. That has to be a good thing. When I am desperate it helps to know that someone else out there is listening and takes the time to respond. If that post doesn't appear till a day later it's kind of too late. It is day 10 of medication today for me. I am still not drinking and haven't had any more setbacks there. I have had a couple of social evenings and I felt ok just having tonic water while everyone else was drinking wine. I feel that they are not drinking as much as they would normally with me (maybe I was a bad influence on them, and we'll all be better off for my abstinence) The medication has taken the edge off the anxiety a little although I really don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. It's a bit all over the place. Am I anxious or depressed or hyper. I don't know. I am trying to do my mindfulness meditation daily to help me learn to deal with and defuse unhelpful thoughts. The psychologist is helping me work through this stage of treatment. Other than that it's just day by day. I realise now that this is going to take some time and I will not feel better for a while yet. I am very lucky that I have an amazing supportive husband and my GP is the best. I don't have that many friends, I have gradually pushed them all away over the years not letting anyone get too close or else they might find out the truth. But the couple that I have are also very understanding and supportive. So anyway, I'm getting there, wherever there is, slowly but at least with some purpose and hope now. Mary

atlas88 Wanting to seek help but can't talk about it?
  • replies: 2

How many people want help, but just find it so difficult to openly say it all? I used to be open, but after having so many negative experiences with friends, with people in general..I've just bottled it all up because that way people won't be able to... View more

How many people want help, but just find it so difficult to openly say it all? I used to be open, but after having so many negative experiences with friends, with people in general..I've just bottled it all up because that way people won't be able to hurt you. I've just found it so incredibly difficult to cope, to even bother waking up when all I can think is "what's the use?" What worries me is that last year I idly began thinking of suicide, and now this year I've been a lot more serious about it, but a big part of me doesn't want to do it, just that I see no other way out, and I don't want to get to next year to find that I'm ready. Why do people have to be so mean and nasty? Especially those who claim to be your friends? I've always been there for my friends, always dropping everything for them, and now they've all turned their backs on me. Why do they have to be so critical of you, when you accept them the way they are? Worst of all are your own family, the people you expect to treat you right. I've become emotionally and financially spent thanks to my parents and older sibling (the whole story has been going on for 8 years). My parents divorced a few years ago, my older sibling left the house, and I was left with my emotionally unstable mother who would break down and cry every few days, have another one of her break downs...and all the while I'm working trying to support her financially (can't find a stable job, plus is very unresponsible financially) and emotionally, and now I'm $11 000 in debt, feeling so incredibly drained mentally and emotionally. I went to a counsellor at my uni to talk about it, but I barely scratched the surface...I just couldn't openly reveal how I was really feeling. On top of it all, I'm struggling with uni, work part-time at a job I hate, where I experience bullying, and come home to my mum who criticises me for not doing enough with my life. I want to cry, but I just can't. I'll force myself so much, but I can't get anything out, I've become that numb. It feels like I'm in a prison, and I see only one way out but I know that I don't want to take that path. I just don't know how I can get my own life going when I have these 2 anchors around me: my mum and that massive debt, which will take me 4 and a half years to pay off at my current rate. It's the apathy, the numbness that gets to me most, the fact that I feel so helpless in trying to do anything. What do I do?

auntymoo I don't know what to do, basically I am a mess
  • replies: 2

It wasn't until last night that I actually admitted I had a problem and that I need to get help. This post may be a little all over the place because I have so much going on, I just don't know what to do! I am sad...all.the.time I should be happy. I ... View more

It wasn't until last night that I actually admitted I had a problem and that I need to get help. This post may be a little all over the place because I have so much going on, I just don't know what to do! I am sad...all.the.time I should be happy. I am loved. I have 3 beautiful children. I have a beautiful guy who loves me to the end of the earth. Unfortunately he suffers from depression and I don't know what to do to help him. He has some awful circumstances going on which has affected his mental state badly in the past few weeks. He is pushing me away, but tells me he needs me more than ever. I don't know what to do! We have one of those beautiful once in a lifetimes loves and it hurts me so much that he is going through such sorrow and there is nothing we can do to stop what it happening. His ex is moving away and taking his beautiful little girl with her. It is so sad, he is a truly wonderful dad who does not deserve this. Then there are my own problems. A year ago my husband of 20 years left me, I'm over it but not over it. It doesn't help that he wants me back, and looks at me with those eyes every time I see him which is a lot. We have equal share of the kids so I see him every few days. I have moved on, he has not. He realised once it was too late. All I can feel is sad for him. I am struggling with everyday tasks. I work full time. I am at uni. I get little or no study done because everything is bogging me down. All I see is the stuff I should be doing, I procrastinate big time and get nothing done! I am well respected at my work, I get my job done. But at home nothing gets done and I have a nap instead. Then I am disappointed at the end of each day because I have accomplished nothing. I stick my head in the sand. I am the most organised disorganised person you would ever meet. To the outside world I have my **** together, if only they knew. I get nothing done! I jump from job to job without finishing the first job, I do a little bit of each and never finish anything. I feel sad, overwhelmed, helpless and a complete fraud.

Bee63 I've never spoken about this to anyone.
  • replies: 4

I've never spoken to anyone about this really so I'm sorry if it's very disorganised lol. I'd appreciate any comments, feedback or advice you have because I really need an outsiders view so please feel free I'm 18 and just finishing my HSC. I am not ... View more

I've never spoken to anyone about this really so I'm sorry if it's very disorganised lol. I'd appreciate any comments, feedback or advice you have because I really need an outsiders view so please feel free I'm 18 and just finishing my HSC. I am not by any means a positive thinker, it's a very bad habit I have and probably one of my problems lol. When I do try to think positive I feel like I'm fooling myself, too me it's easier when you think the worst because then you're not let down as much. Lately I also have very low self confidence. This is something I really hate because when I was 14-16 I did have a lot more confidence and felt much better about myself. But now I really hate my appearance.. I feel too fat, I'm pale, my legs are very ugly because I have slight discolouration in certain areas, my nose is huge & my hair is terrible. I look around at the other girls and they all seem so perfect and get heaps of attention from other guys.. and I know I'm in a relationship but it would still be nice to be found attractive. I know I'm probably wrong, but I swear my boyfriend is much less attracted to me now then what he was also and because I feel so ugly, it's hard for me to feel sexy so we barely ever have sex anymore. It really worries me because I don't want him to look elsewhere. Also I feel a lot like I drag him down.. like me being a part of his life makes his life dull and boring. Whenever I try to talk to him about that he always tells me I'm "being silly" or he feels like I'm trying to make him feel bad. I have no idea what to do about that so I'm open to ideas. Also I have only recently moved away from my home town and all my friends, and the friends I have made here live a half hour away so I definitely feel very alone and isolated. I have no family here apart from the ones I live with, and although I love them, I can't stand to be around them anymore. I feel like my mum and her boyfriend make stupid decisions.. neither of them work and they come up with every excuse in the book for this. When I leave home they will lose the child support from my father, the board from my boyfriend and will still have 3 small kids to look after. I feel like since meeting my step dad my mum has cut off the rest of the family which particularly bothers me. I don't really know what is wrong with me.. I guess I could say I have depression. I'm not particularly suicidal but there are days where I honestly feel like I'm not going to go anywhere in life, and sometimes I don't see the point of wanting to live for another 70 odd years if I'm stuck with a low income, miserable life. I'm not saying people would be happy if I croaked, I know they would be very depressed and upset, but I think their lives would be more enjoyable in the long run I guess. I don't know... things are just becoming increasingly worse and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it all which is why I decided to post this.. I don't like being stuck with my thoughts sometimes.

connor56 Need some advice
  • replies: 1

I have for a while suspected that my partner has some form of mental illness. The simpliest way to explain, her emotions control who she is and everything she does. She has openly admitted to me that she relies on me and that without me she couldnt c... View more

I have for a while suspected that my partner has some form of mental illness. The simpliest way to explain, her emotions control who she is and everything she does. She has openly admitted to me that she relies on me and that without me she couldnt cope. I suppose we are the complete opposites, I base my decisions and opinions on the facts etc she bases hers on how she feels at the time. She is extremely insecure, afraid shes not good enough for me, afraid that im going to leave regardless of how much I express the way i feel about her. Occassionally I admit i do lose my patience with her and the situation Things are that bad that my friends and family won't have anything to do with me while i'm with her, eg if i want to catch up with friends and family i have to do it myself. The tipping point for me is that we are expecting our first child and as someone who grew up in an abusive home i wish to give my kid the life i never had. The way things are currently i don't see that happening. I have attempted to talk about this with her however i have had little success. I can handle her and how she is, i believe if you truly love someone you take the bad with the good but i really dont want our child to have to. She is miserable 90% of the time and it breaks my heart. All i want is for her to be happy but i have no idea how or what to do, I know that there isn't a quick fix, however I would appreciate some advice from people who have been in similar situations and have got through it.