Alone, forgotten, saddend, no self respect, no motivation, totally disillusioned, outcast???

[Djordat]

Hi, not sure whether this is the right thing to do?

I have no one else to speak with, about how things are with my position.

I know I have allowed things in my life to way me down, to the point where, I can not seem to see the way out.

Some days are better than others, I find great solace, in the animals in my life, of which are many, mostly wild.

I seem to feel great empathy and sadness for the hopelessness, I see in all things around me, and take it on board.

I try to help others of all species, and cant help myself. Once, I was the most trusting of all that I met, and gave of everything I could freely and honestly, only to be tossed aside each time.

And still, I leave myself open to the users and the self indulged, blinded to there indifference, I accept there words and smooth ways.

It's in disbelief, and distrusting suspicion that I thrive now, detached and isolated from all but nature, in that I trust.

It's very hard to describe the way of things, but in this way I remain distant and detached, where it's safe.

I still have to endure dramas and problems in my life due to commitments and responsibility's every day.

I hide well my ashamed self, and put up a good front to all those I deal with every day, at arms length.

A social life I have none, interacting with others closely none, alone in mind, alone in body, alone in spirit.

Have recently been accumulating my rubbish around me on display, so as to remind me what I am.

Sorry to burden any who read this with my silliness, but would like any comments, may be out of all the self analysis, other views and opinions or experiences may help me turn around this endlessness.

I know I have much more to give in many ways, but cant get the pointlessness out of me!!

With much respect and a kind heart, Thank You.

[Djordat]

Hi -M,

I love all places, have no favorites, from the most remote, to the most populated.

However, I find defined comfort in places, with the dead, it sounds weird I know, but being around those that have been before, and wondering what there time is like now, helps me to feel deeply, strengthens positive, calming well-being, I grew up for a while in a cemetery; I have been to many, in the modern way, and in the ancient way of traditional law.

I also like places with running water, as this is positive also.

The more remote, the more pure the feelings, with no other influence, only the place and its natural residents, living or the fallen.

The open; vast and unrestrained, feels free, no boarders, no walls, no limits, but can be with out remorse, deserves respect, faith in yourself.

It feels strange to talk about it! Most don't understand!

Ask anything you like! I'm open.

Thank you. Djordat.

[Guest_128]

Hi Djordat,

I know you feel very down,depressed,maybe negative at times,

What you have just so beautiful described in your last two, is simply what some like us get and most don't.

How great it is when you just sit and watch an animal or you gaze in amusement at a dead tree along a river in the darkest of drought.

You have a gift my friend,

Dory

[Guest_1584]

How you doin D , everything alright ?

Let us know how your going D and come and write for us while your at it haha.

Cheers mate.

[Guest_128]

Hello my friend,

How are you?

What have you been up to?

Dory

[Doolhof]

Hi Djordat,

Just wondering how you are and maybe even where you are?

Not everyone beats to the same drum do they? Sometimes it is difficult for some people to feel open and receptive to people whom they feel are different in some ways.

One thing I like about this forum is that everyone here is equal to each other. A few over time have posted pictures of themselves, most chose other images as their avatars. People do not judge each other for the colour of the skin, or eyes, if they have body markings or not, bald or have long hair.

Here we are given the privilege of knowing what is in a person's heart, mind and soul without considering the outside form of the person.

Black sheep or not, it does not matter here.

Sometimes I feel those who are experiencing some kind of illness or testing situation, are people who see life more clearly than those who live a privileged life. ( maybe that is not the right word?)

While growing up in the country, I would often escape to places of solitude, surrounded by nature. It is so less complicated being at peace with yourself and creation.

Dools

[Djordat]

Hi again, thank you for the the encouraging posts.

Haven't been myself lately, and find it hard to make comments on my life, while like this. Almost like being at the bottom of a dry well looking up at freedom, but to hard to reach it. And if I did; there would by my nemesis to push me back down, I feel down trodden and under the foot of this not nice individual. I cant see myself as worth anything when treated this way, I try not to let if show in my day to day but I know it effects my demeanor and presentation. I have to speak publicly every day 7 days, and really hope it doesn't effect the outcome, all seems well, but I'm not on the other side?

Not related to or obligated in any other way, but business, to this, this insect of a human, and I disrespect the fine upstanding insect kingdom, by making the comparison.

Sorry; had to say something, to someone, the dogs just cock their head to one side and put their paw on me, happy that I am for the encouragement, I need to release through words, better face to face, but this dose allow a certain amount of anonymity!

Hope you are all well, and making your lives as wonderful as you can, I'm not much, but, I wish only the very best for everyone.

Take care, I have to get ready for the next group of nice people to try to enlighten.

Be good, and if you cant, be careful. Djordat.

[Guest_1584]

Hi D.

Sorry the pits are the pits right now mate. But as far as the insect , or lesser , man l have been in ta position until , l told myself to hell with this who the hell does he think he is , better than me , smarter than me , more money than me, drives a flasher car than me , he's nothing more than l am , lesser in fact because non of that would mean a thing to a good person and l'm a good person and l'm proud that it wouldn't, wth am l going through this for.?????????????

lt later accrued to me that he might even be slightly jealous , because basically the only useful thing l ever saw him do was get out of his flash car in a suit and stand there where as l ,can do many many things.Funny thing was , ld on't mind if he was totally useless and all could do was step out of his nice car in his suit and watch the rest of us actually do something , as long as he was a good person. Some of us can do some things and others can do other things, that's the world.

But he wasn't a good person , and he was also useless.

So , one night l decided never again will l lose confident around him or take he's looks as if they actually mean jack shit to me. Never again.

Well , guess what. From within around a wk of my new attitude , he actually approached me and we chatted and guess what , he actually admired me and he admitted to being useless and feeling very unsatisfied with himself and this thing he called a job just getting out of his flash car in his suit and he actually envied us being hands on and doing it. Doing life , doing work ,being able to do things.

Sooooooo, ya never know S , but one things for sure , they are no better than you and as soon as you stop letting them think they are , you might get a really nice surprise. And even if you don't , who cares because your just as good as them so what they think is of no importance anyway unless they wanna be nice about it.

Good luck mate , hang in there.

[Djordat]

Hi all, have been away for a long time.

Is anyone there?

Djordat.