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Depression and anxiety

Community Member

Hi I’m Julie I’m really suffering one year ago my 27 year old son who lived with me left and disowned me telling me I’m toxic I have not heard or seen him since and my tgen my cat died and in October I was diagnosed with stage 1 uterine cancer which I had a full hysterectomy for everything crumbled after that I’ve always suffered depression badly but now I suffer anxiety and panic attacks on top of it I have really hit rock bottom it’s hard as now I suffer menopause too which doesn’t help sorry for letting it all out at once but I don’t have many friends or family 

6 Replies 6

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Julie.

I want to welcome you, & say more, but I wrote too much, so I'll have to return here, hopefully, tomorrow.

If you need to talk now, call BB counsellors on 1300 224 636 or try the link to 'Chat Online'.

For now, my profile picture is Mekitty, who was my cat, who died several years ago. There are still times I miss her like it was only a week ago. 



Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Julie & welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry you've been going through such a tough time, losing your cat, having uterine cancer & a hysterectomy, then menopause to deal with, your son’s leaving the way he did, which must be very painful for you... it's a lot to deal with.


I miss Mekitty quite regularly & make an effort to keep her present in my life, hence using her photo as my profile picture, & by calling myself 'mmMekitty', & talk about her on BB.

There is a thread called "Pets - gotta love them! Share funny, loving stories about pets and animals." You might like that.


About your son, at 27, I guess the only thing to do is, if you have a way of contacting him, let him know you love him & you (if you want) offer to talk over what he is referring to as 'toxic'. Remember to be respectful, & if he can be respectful too, then you might be able to begin to talk again. You mightneed to take it slowly.


It must be very difficult going through the uterine cancer, the hysterectomy & menopause. I can barely imagine.

I had breast cancer & opted for a double mastectomy, & since, I have a hormone blocker & side effects from that - that seems quite a lot to deal with, let alone what you've have had do go through. That must be so difficult.

Have you been in contact with specific support workers or groups to help you with all the changes to your physical & mental health? I think it is important to talk to people who understand & may have been through the same before you.

Would you consider talking to your GP & maybe finding a therapist to talk about your feelings, the depression, anxiety, how you are adjusting to life after your cancer diagnosis & treatment, including your menopause? There seems too much going on to expect one person, (you), to cope with alone.

Have you considered finding a support group for people who’ve also had uterine cancer?


Of-course, you are also welcome to talk here.




Hi thank you so much yes I have a counsellor at work and am going to the doctor to get help too I appreciate your support as I don’t have a lot of friends or family sorry about ur struggles too and ur loss regarding my son I can’t reach him he blocked me and doesn’t want to talk to me at all but maybe in time thank you again love Julie 

Hi Julie

What about his address, & writing a short letter? 

I hope in time he will get in touch with you, too. I'm only thinking, the longer people don't speak to each other the harder it is to make the first move towards  re-establishing communication.



white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


Many of us here live on the extremes, not much goes on in the middle with mental illness issues. 


So what is the ways we all get past this? Here is my list and the answers.


  • Time can heal enough to be functional so no matter what other remedies are suggested keep them in the back of your mind and remember time is mandatory
  • Relationship s are fluid. They come and go and blood relatives are no different. While a child leaving your life is extremely difficult to accept (I know what its like), often they return. This ebb and flow is better to accept that it happens than thinking the worst ie that you are at fault and blame yourself.
  • Respect others rights. eg your son has his right to live his life how he sees fit. It is gentle nudges that could save you both, along with gentle changes to accommodate his needs. Such changes could be to lessen the areas he sees as toxic but keeping safe your character. A thin line indeed. Massage the relationship. Meaning look at options. eg agreeing to make contact as often as your tolerance of each other is allowed. That could be at xmas and birthday to catch up on his life and yours. Be the leader, not to mention much about your own personal battles but to ask him about his a lot.
  • I believe living with parents at 27yo was an error. It occurs a lot now due to housing and other issues. Full independence might be what he actually needed so by now he might be ready to reunite in that rare meet up as previously suggested.
  • Telling you that you are "toxic" could mean many things but as a guess it is an extreme reaction to areas of incompatibility and living under the same roof. Perhaps a poor choice of words so be flexible in not reading too much into that word. In the heat of the moment all sorts of words are used.
  • Focus on what you have not what you do not have. Care for your needs. That might include a kitten or two as not only distractions but company.  






Reply when ready.


Community Member

Hi Julietta


i think it’s great that you are reaching out to get support.


Think with regards to your panic & anxiety regarding health, that will subside as times goes on & you get back to your normal routine. In the meantime with the permission of the doctor of course I would try and get back into a healthy routine of exercise & diet consisting of nourishing foods to help supprt your body while it’s healing.