I thought I was getting better with my anxiety then it's, wham it's back

[contrarymary]

I have been postng since 2016 about my stress and anxiety. I think every pain is serious eg a headache is a brain tumour

I have been feeling well Since May when i was so stressed and anxious I ended up in emergency had every test but nothing found. Tonight I have been pacing the floor, trying to read or watch something I do not off but only for minutes. I have been like this for hours

I have tried mindfulness and meditation but cannot get the hang of it

II only sleep a few hours a night and if I wake up at say 1am it will take me hours to get back to sleep.

I just can't relax

[blondguy]

Hey contrarymary

we have chatted before....its always good to see you

Im sorry you have been doing it hard...

We are here and listening

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Contrarymary, I join Paul in welcoming you again.

Mindfulness and meditation doesn't work for everyone, while some people can relate to it and benefit from it, I'm not one of those people, and to believe you may have a brain tumour is not what anyone would want but can cause stress and certainly anxiety.

This idea has been suggested several times before but it doesn't matter if it's mentioned again, when I was suffering badly from mental illness the only way I could sleep was to turn on the radio as well as put a record on, this would direct my attention to the record and put me to sleep if I woke up the radio would take over, all of this stopped me thinking of what I was suffering from.

I'm not sure whether or not you have been told of this, but please let us know.

Geoff.

[Mark Z.]

Hi contrarymary,

I'm sorry that your anxiety is back. However most of the recover processes are not linear, that's why we need resilliance. When the pain comes back we need to understand that it's normal and it happens in many other cases as well. If we feel we're not able to get back to the right track on our own, we need to seek help.

You mentioned that you're getting better since May, do you want to share if you're recovering on your own, or there was help and support from professional, family or friends? When you say mindfulness and meditation didn't work anymore, it is time to seek help from others without hesitation. Try to call BB hotline and have a chat with mental health expert would also be helpful.

Mark

[blondguy]

Hi contrarymary....forgive me for hijacking your thread for a moment...

Hey Mark...just a polite note...Resilience can be very difficult to locate when we have a 'tired mind' which is experiencing high levels of adrenaline/ acute anxiety.

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Petal22]

Hi contrarymary,

Im sosorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s very difficult.

How are you feeling today?

I also used to think there was more wrong with me than my anxiety I’d always think the worst case scenario and I’d be checked by the doctor only to be told I was fine but it still wouldn’t stop the spiral I was in I’d just find something else to obsess over it was a very exhausting way to live….

I saw a team of health professionals and I was diagnosed with OCD, I’ve now recovered thanks to the professional help I received I also did an 8 week group therapy.

Im not saying you have OCD it was something I was diagnosed with.

I also would sleep for a few hours and then wake up wide awake..

Have you been able to see your gp to discuss how you are feeling?

[mmMekitty]

Hello Contrarymary,

When I am feeling so restless, it might be called agitated, I don't know, just that I can't be still, & is when I am most anxious about something, or panicky during something which has triggered me into panic, & I forget everything I might do to calm myself.

I have some go-to things, like I often have an audiobook playing for around an hour (hoping I am asleep before it stops), when I go to bed. I have used music, but found the verbal thoughts could overide the sound of the music, so I find spoken word books work better.

& I might wake again two or three times, & assess why, & what to do.

fortunately I don't usually turn the book reading on again. I will get up, pace around a bit, change my p.j.s. have very small snack, whatever I think will help me feel more comfortable. I've even had a cool shower at 2a.m. on hot nights.

Long ago I used to smoke, (not recommended) & drink (also not recommended), but I did that too. Didn't really help, I realise now, but I thought it had.

I also would get up & write everything I had on my mind, just getting it out, & onto the page. & that did help for the time being. I pointed at what I'd written, & said, "there, it's there now & you don't have to keep thinking of this stuff over & over again", & feel I could now go to sleep.

I get really frustrated, especially lately, because I also feel extremely tired, to the point I am drifting off while sitting here, trying to think what to write, but go to bed, & I don't sleep.

so patience with myself is very important, too.

I hope some of this helps, though what you describe sound more severe than what I have had. If you are not currently seeing someone to help you with, I would encourage you to do that. Nevertheless, as you know, we'll be here. 😺

mmMekitty

[Baljit]

Hi Contraymary,

Welcome back to the forum and I am sorry to hear that your anxiety has returned.

As part of your recovery it’s encouraging that you have been able to identify your symptoms, and then enabling you to reach out to the group and share your feelings.

From my own experience and the conversations I have had with my psychologist, he made me understand quite early on in the recovery process that everybody’s care plan is unique and is not time bound and also I needed to prepare and have a plan in place for relapses as there will be some.

The key is identifying when this relapse happens and then reaching out to your network for support/guidance, and remembering that this is just a small blip and I am sure you will find your sweet spot/thing to help you to cope with your anxiety.

As a group we are here to listen.

Take care…

Baljit

[Offonoff]

Hi,

I hope you’re feeling better by now. I understand what you’re feeling physically. Anxiety is such a disease. I’m much the same. I’ve been to the emergency so many times and all the tears have always return negative.
I get issues with my heart, pains and palpitations… even when I think I’ve calmed my anxiety all these symptoms return.
i take SSRI medication but recently even that’s not working.

do you have a gp you go to?

best wishes

[Banksy92]

Hi contrarymary,

Lots of really good suggestions and questions in here, I don't want to overload you but just thought i'd drop in a few other small suggestions of anxiety relief if you haven't tried these already...

1. Grounding exercise 555: Sit or lay with your eyes closed and slowly observe in your mind 5 things you can hear. Then 5 things you can feel and then open you eyes and observe 5 thing you can see. Try to use as much detail as you can on each one to really flesh it out. This can be a great activity to sooth a busy mind and bring us back to the present moment.

2. Prepare a sensory pack: Collect an item you find calming for each sense and bring them all together when you're feeling anxious. Something that feels nice to touch (maybe a soft blanket or plush toy), something to smell (perhaps a candle or essential oil) , something to listen to (like some music or a podcast you like), something to look at (this might be a photo you love or a book you enjoy) and something to taste (could be a sweet lolly or favourite treat)