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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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NZthrower Anxiety on questions regarding religion.
  • replies: 8

One claim giving me anxiety I have heard some religious people say of atheists is that atheists only deny God because they want to sin. I have been watching an atheist deconstruct this claim on youtube. He says that since religious people believe tha... View more

One claim giving me anxiety I have heard some religious people say of atheists is that atheists only deny God because they want to sin. I have been watching an atheist deconstruct this claim on youtube. He says that since religious people believe that God wants us to know the truth and is perfectly capable of conveying truth to us humans, those who make such an assertion would have to acknowledge that God has failed to convey the truth to atheists and thus sends them to hell because of their sincere mistake in belief. Furthermore, he also asserts that if the existence of God is self evident, then why would any sane person willingly deny it. I like to put it in the same terms as denying the colour of the sky to be blue. Furthermore, if it is so obvious that God would send you to hell for performing certain acts, why would you deny it just so you can sin for a while just to end up burning in hell for eternity? This really has left my mind in circles contemplating such things, and this could also potentially result in strain in my relations with my atheist friends. Furthermore, there's also this common claim that some Christians think that if you repent to God for your sins, he will forgive you and you will go to heaven. However, I think any just god would see through any insincerity and only acknowledge repentance if it is sincere. Also, this brings up the question of having to be accountable for the consequences of one's actions and how God would view accountability for the consequences. Also, I'm in the process of wondering why is it vital to question everything, be skeptical of everything including beliefs you hold dear and not just blindly believe in every single claim you encounter. I'm finding this hard to do as I have an instinct to believe in all sorts of wild claims.

Ksimp87 My life
  • replies: 9

I have severe anxiety I'm struggling at the life to cope with life it's very challenging hopefully someone can help me I'm desperate...

I have severe anxiety I'm struggling at the life to cope with life it's very challenging hopefully someone can help me I'm desperate...

Mina19 Feeling sad/worthless
  • replies: 5

Hi people,I hope this doesn’t sound stupid. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety, ptsd and panic disorder but in the last year or so I’ve been doing pretty well and if I didn’t tell anyone I had these mental illnesses they’d have no idea. Howeve... View more

Hi people,I hope this doesn’t sound stupid. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety, ptsd and panic disorder but in the last year or so I’ve been doing pretty well and if I didn’t tell anyone I had these mental illnesses they’d have no idea. However since ages ago going to the city gives me a huge panic attack and I feel like I’m gonna be sick. I don’t have agoraphobia and love going places in the suburbs (pretty much everything is around here) but when I told someone about how I feel about the city they laughed at me and called me stupid. Honestly I really have no need to be there as I said everything is located pretty much in the suburban area I live. Is this normal. Sorry for the long post, but I’m just feeling horrible after they said that.

white knight Anxiety- Slowing doooowwwnnn
  • replies: 2

Those with anxiety slowing down is easier said than done. How do you? Your pace is inbuilt, your walking speed for example, is natural to you right?. You get things done in fact you are your work managers favourite employee right? This all sounds gre... View more

Those with anxiety slowing down is easier said than done. How do you? Your pace is inbuilt, your walking speed for example, is natural to you right?. You get things done in fact you are your work managers favourite employee right? This all sounds great, but it isnt, it has ramifications that you might not realise until your anxiety needs addressing through medical attention. In a workplace "flogging a willing horse" is what managers do. They want things done quickly, you're the employee to see. You then have a far more intense working day than the guy that does the minimum required and he/she will be there 30 years while you suffer burnout and leave in a short time. That's liufe but can you do anything about that... slow yourself down? The first thing I realised as a young man was that although I had great work references I wasn't enjoying myself working so fast. A bit like looking for holes in a dam and plugging them up quickly. There would always be holes. Pacing yourself is a forced action so it doesnt come naturally with anxious people. Here is a few ideas-Assess your tasks and calculate what is a reasonable amount to achieve in a given periodOnce near that achievement seek out workmates to chat with even as you do your work but slowlyBetween breaks attend the bathroom to simply wash your hands. It's hygienic and gives you a few minutes breakRemember, charity begins at home, over work will exhaust you and your private life will sufferOne art is to use your imagination to mentally remove yourself from your environment. Repetitious work? if permitted use music in hearing buds.Have a long term goal of running your own business as your work ethic could make you successful.Worry is counter productiveDeep breathing- anywhere, anytime.Do you have ideas on slowing down?TonyWK

Pink grapefruit Feeling scared
  • replies: 8

Hi. I feel very scared of what might happen in the future lately especially when I think about our mortgage. The interest rate keeps going up and some unexpected things have happened during our housing project. I understand bad things could happen in... View more

Hi. I feel very scared of what might happen in the future lately especially when I think about our mortgage. The interest rate keeps going up and some unexpected things have happened during our housing project. I understand bad things could happen in life but it is hard to manage my mental status. Could anyone, who had or have such experiences, share how you coped or are coping? I want to learn from it.

Ardyy Asbestos anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi guys. Recently I went to an abandoned house with my friends. It was a bit broken down and had yellow fluff on the ground. I was only in there for around 30 seconds and I had my t shirt over my mouth. I am worried that there was asbestos in there. ... View more

Hi guys. Recently I went to an abandoned house with my friends. It was a bit broken down and had yellow fluff on the ground. I was only in there for around 30 seconds and I had my t shirt over my mouth. I am worried that there was asbestos in there. And I can't sleep because I am very worried that I have taken in some asbestos. We didn't stir it up. I am just worried. If you guys could give me some information that would be great. I am a teenager and I am really worried. I have looked up the consequences of breathing in asbestos and it makes me scared.

srh08 Worried
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone! I have been getting panic attacks a lot lately and stressing over little things and then overthinking them and stressing myself out. I got prescribed anti- depressants but got off them because they were making me feel even worse. I’m wor... View more

Hi everyone! I have been getting panic attacks a lot lately and stressing over little things and then overthinking them and stressing myself out. I got prescribed anti- depressants but got off them because they were making me feel even worse. I’m worried about why my body feels different even after I have a panic attack it’s hard to explain but like my heart pounds and hurts and I’ve been stressing that it’s not normal and that somethings wrong with me.

Janet66 Medication
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have been prescribed anti-depressant medication today. I have taken 1 this morning and I feel nauseous and a bit panicky as I have anxiety. Is anyone else experiencing this with medication? Thanks

Hi all, I have been prescribed anti-depressant medication today. I have taken 1 this morning and I feel nauseous and a bit panicky as I have anxiety. Is anyone else experiencing this with medication? Thanks

white knight Living in fear or fearless living?
  • replies: 2

At one stage, around 1987 following a stress related workplace incident, wrong diagnosis of heart attack (panic) and ongoing therapy, I was fearful of crowds, shopping centres, cinemas, news of the day and airplanes. That's my list, others would have... View more

At one stage, around 1987 following a stress related workplace incident, wrong diagnosis of heart attack (panic) and ongoing therapy, I was fearful of crowds, shopping centres, cinemas, news of the day and airplanes. That's my list, others would have their own. But one fear that dominated all the rest was - people, specifically narcissistic, aggressive types. Working for 3 years in a jail might not have helped though with my bipolar, HSP (Highly sensitive person), dysthymia etc I might have been the same regardless. My therapist identified worry as being inground and that was fuelled by intrusive thoughts of fearful events that rarely ever occurred. This led him to teach me what was pivotal in my recovery of anxiety - the ability to separate realistic and non realistic thoughts. Examples- Crowds. Nasty people. The origin of this was identified as likely being my mothers BPD condition. So, to learn to not discount nastiness from someone and give them the benefit of the doubt, another chance, was significant as often I found those people nasty with one response only, not all the time.Airplanes was easy. Dont fly. Fear of getting in troubleOther fearsCatastrophising of thoughts is a difficult process to eliminate. Each time you have such thoughts ask yourself- is that thought realistic? Is there any likelihood this crowd will turn violent? Is not flying detrimental to my life? Do I need to know what I'm going to say if an ex prisoner recognises me? Or just being friendly is enough? Some unrealistic intrusive thoughts can become real however, how real? Often, no, so after an event that is rare, place it straight back into the "rare" pigeon hole. That's realistic. Mind games created by ourselves isn't beneficial. Fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts all need to be assessed if they are realistic or not. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873 That's one area where therapy helped me. A trained therapist, or other professional medical person can work wonders. This forum available 24/7/365 can give assistance in a supportive role by those that have experienced the symptoms. TonyWK

ree1610 Anxiety about alcohol and partner drinking
  • replies: 8

long story short my dad was an alcoholic and abused my mum for a long time from when I was 3 years old up until they split up when I was 8 . Before they split up my mum tried to end her life . I’ve come to find that I really don’t like alcohol and th... View more

long story short my dad was an alcoholic and abused my mum for a long time from when I was 3 years old up until they split up when I was 8 . Before they split up my mum tried to end her life . I’ve come to find that I really don’t like alcohol and those I love drinking . My partners been with me since 2016 and has respected that . We moved close to his family now and where his mates live . Now he obviously wants to go and drink with his mates on their birthdays etc and special occasions . In my head I know this is still him compromising and I really do appreciate it but I’m finding it hard to cope with him even doing that . I try to talk to him about it but he says that he just wants to be able to do normal things and why should he have to suffer for something he hasn’t done and that it affects him too which I feel terrible about daily . I’m also on medication for my anxiety every night and have been for a long time . I’m beginning trauma counselling soon to hopefully help but I guess what I’m asking is is it selfish of me to not want him to ? And to really not want him around that environment ? It just stresses me to the max and I end up having a panic attack over it