Work is making feel so sad and angry

[Pyromancer]

Hey there, everyone.

This is my first ever post on Beyond Blue, and I prefer to be a lurker on forums. However, I feel like I need to vent.

I'm finding myself really struggling to have a positive mindset because of my work. I'm in my early twenties, and my job is requires being physical. Essentially, I have been titled as a recycler.That never has bothered me, only the environment I find myself in. I work in the production warehouse of a retail store, which I joined ever since i finished high school. I don't have any issues interacting with others, and I do engage in a lot of banter.

What I've come to realise is that I'm very much a person who dwells in the past, and will become very blue and have a 'woe is me' attitude when I'm told off at work. For the past three years, I dealt with a manager who would berate me every day, and while I was never manhandled by him, I feel like I was bullied to some extent. He was the most reprehensible person I have met. Thankfully, he moved on elsewhere, and I'm more relaxed at work.

My other supervisor was once annoyed with me because she felt pressured because I was waiting for her to complete a task, so then that we could move carts together, which is a required process after her work. However, she told me to that I was bothering her, but I didn't do anything, since I had completed my other tasks and wanted to stay and wait to help out. She then knocked my head three times, very much like when you would knock on a door. I remember distinctly her laughing at this. To this day, she has never apologised, and I know she feels no guilt because she once laughed about yet again.

I understand I'm not being too cohesive at this point, but I have a mix of emotions. I have a burning rage that I've been physically touched by a supervisor for trying to be considerate. I just feel so weak and emasculated. I just have no drive to want to do well at work. I have no drive to do anything.

I have had to spend THREE MONTHS BY MYSELF running around the warehouse, getting everyone's bins and products to be recycled. I feel like a dog. And management have had the gall to act annoyed at my asks for help. I want to explode and make them realise how angry and sad I am.

My joy in life would be just daydreaming about any fantasy I have. I wish that they were real.

I'm sorry for the tangent, and I understand, reading back on everything, how stupid and weird this is to complain about.

[Baljit]

Hi Pyromancer,

Firstly, welcome to the group and sharing your views. We are here to listen and to provide you with the relevant support and guidance without any judgement.

It sounds as though you really have been going through a tough time at work and it’s quite evident that you have not received the support, and guidance that you deserve.

I am really sorry that you had to experience that poor and unacceptable behaviour from your Supervisor.

I have also personally experienced bullying at work. The bullying I experienced was not direct bullying which is easy to see and easier to stop. Unfortunately, I experienced the indirect/subtle form of bullying which is extremely frustrating as you start to question is it your fault. However, overtime you realise it’s NOT.

Does your company have a code of conduct or bullying and harassment policy, as you should be able to raise an informal complaint first where you are able to share your feelings with your Supervisor and resolve the situation this way. Otherwise the other options would be to progress down the formal route, or worst case scenario is to consider resigning and exiting your toxic work environment, which is starting to have a negative impact on your mental health.

Finally, your complaint is not stupid. The behaviour you are experiencing is unacceptable.

All the best.