Social life after depression

[bunnys_d]

After suffering from severe depression for over two years I have begun to notice that at school I make a conscious effort to be happy. I have predominately over come depression now but I am still left with the forced hysterical happiness that I used to seem happy while I had depression. I no longer normally feel the extreme self hatred, suicidal thoughts and just over all black numb mood yet I still have the extreme forced happiness I used when I used to pretend I was fine. I feel as though I now need to be extremely happy so as not to fall back into depression or that I still need to prove I'm not depressed. I feel as though in order to be like I need to be overly silly and happy instead of the shy quiet person I was before depression. It's like I can never be sad around my friends now in case they don't like me but or think I'm depressed again so I just act insanely happy the whole time and can't stop. Does anyone else do this, even after managing to finally stop the worst of depression?

[Orange_Juices]

I've developed a few habits from when I wasn't feeling particularly at my best during highschool. But as I progressed through University I grew out of those habits. So the same may happen to you. The more you engage in conversation, and go through life, you'll realise that your natural self will take over rather than the habits you learnt.

My advice is to place yourself in situations where you won't know how you might act, such as reading about different cultures online, as this could open your horizons and force your mind to act independently from its habits. Just my advice though, and not a professionals, goodluck.

[geoff]

hi Bunny, when we are in depression we put on a happy smiling face when we go out either socially or at work, and to be happy is what we all want after being depressed, but by showing that you are extremely happy all the time unfortunately isn't going to stop depression if it wants to return, no matter how hard you try and keep it away.
We try and make every effort not to be depressed and every type we try is worth a pat on the back, because it's can be an enormous ask, but try and be yourself, because that's just what you like to be your normal self. Geoff

[pointfive]

Hi bunnys 🙂

so i think like you I'm also in that weird spot of no longer being super depressed but still a bit confused about where I go from here. Reading you post I realised that wow I'm probably a bit guilty of trying to make myself be happy too. And I think that's ok up to a point, we can do little things that we enjoy to make us feel better and it's great to have a positive outlook. And it's OK to act silly if that's who you are, just don't do it cos you think you have to. But you don't have to force yourself to be happy every single day, it's ok to have a crappy day it's normal. You've obviously worked really hard to get through depression and that's something no one can ever take away from you, one bad day isn't going to put you back there. And you friends aren't immune from this either, they'll have bad days too so if you're having a down patch they'll understand cos they that bad patches too.

Anyway, it's great to want to be happy but it's ok to have those other feelings. I've had a hard time readjusting to feelings cos I try to pick and choose what I feel but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. you will have down days but the great thing is there'll always be the happy, fun days that make up for it. Just be yourself, it might take a while to work everything out but it will keep getting better as you figure things out.

Hope this helps

.5