One year later, starting to feel depressed again

[Liam007]

So it was around this time last year that I started to feel depressed and lonely.

 I fear it might be coming back.....

 I hate myself and feel I don't have any good qualities that people would love.

 I plan routes whenever I go for walks to avoid locations where I might see people I know, I walk alone a lot.

 I just feel so left out and worthless

[Narniakid]

Hey Liam007,

I am sorry to hear you're starting to feel down again. Has something happened recently that perhaps triggered it? Significant lifestyle changes such as job changes, finishing school, moving house or different social situations can cause your depression to "flare up" again. Also reflect on your physical health lately, as a poor diet and not getting enough sleep/irregular sleep patterns (a big trigger for me personally) contribute to your mental health.

It's good that you're going outside and going for walks, and there's nothing wrong with a bit of alone time. If you're feeling left out, perhaps try and pluck up the courage to hang out with a friend, or even just strike up a conversation with the person at the checkout next time you're at the grocery store. I encourage you to have a read of your local paper and see if any clubs, hobbies, activities or upcoming events take your fancy. I find trying new things and being involved in my local community a really helpful coping technique, as it is a way of being social and feeling like I am contributing something, and it's a great way to relieve the stresses of routines like work and school.

Remember, a feeling is not a fact - you aren't worthless. Well done on reaching out and recognising the way you're feeling, that is the first step to recovery. Stay strong.

Crystal

[White_Rose]

Hello Liam

It's really discouraging when depression does a U turn and comes back to bite us. There are many possible reasons and Crystal has listed some of them. Another possibility is the time of year. This is not Seasonally Affective Disorder (SAD) as this is usually triggered by the decrease in sunlight and we are heading towards more sunlight. Plus you appear to get out of your home often enough to feel the benefits of sunlight.

For whatever reason I find November the time of year when I tend to go downhill. No idea why. I've had a couple of uncomfortable things happen in November, but also in other months so that's not the cause. Maybe it's the sunlight rush at this time of year? Anyway, that's just one theory of mine.

So why are you feeling down? Unfortunately we do tend to go in cycles. I expect a doctor or psychiatrist could explain this so if you are interested you could go and see your GP. What did you do to manage your depression the first time round? Did you take medication, see a counsellor, develop an action plan? Can you do the things you did last time?

You could go and have a chat with your doctor about how you feel. Sometimes the answer can be quite simple.

Another alternative is to go to the Kids Helpline www.kidshelpline.com.au or give them a ring on 1800 55 1800 which is available 24/7. There are all sorts of resources available on that website. Another website for young people is Headspace. www.headspace.org.au  The phone number, also 24/7, is 1800 650 890.

Beyond Blue has a young persons website called The Desk. www.thedesk.org.au  These are helpful and safe websites for you to visit. Kids Helpline and Headspace both offer online and email counselling as well as their phone service. You may like to try one or both of them.

Depression makes us believe we are worthless and have nothing to offer the world. It simply is not true. I know it is easy for me to say and not so easy for you to believe. As Crystal has said, a feeling is not a fact. You have reached out here which is hard but a great first step. Reach out again to one of the listed organisations or your GP.

Remember you are a valued member of the world.

Mary

[Liam007]

What really started this is when I graduated school and realised how isolated my life was, like I've said the last few days have just been me walking down town to buy art supplies, it's such a trivial thing but it's a real joy for me.

 I got into walking when I was trying to get fit for the army but I didn't get in because I'm diabetic so I pursued acting instead and went for walk to practice lines in my head.

The only thing I can be proud was actually completing a run of a show, this time last year I had a meltdown and quit a show with only 5 days to go until opening (I was an extra, not a main character) but this time I survived to the end.

School was just miserable this year, I could never make friendships last