Depression, Anxiety or just Overreacting

[8r00k33y]

Hi guys, I'm 14 years old and Female.

so for the past year or so I've been feeling down and worrying more

my grandfather passed away last October and that's when everything started to seem different. I didn't notice much last year but this year I've been worrying more. I found out my dad has been smoking behind my back after he said to me he would quit, (he got pneumonia). I've been having terrible dreams about family member being killed or my dad is in a coma or has cancer. I wake up sweating and sometimes before I go to sleep I get horrific thoughts in my head about the dreams I had the night before. I sometimes have panick attacks due to the dreams. Or I have them when something doesn't go right most of the time it's random and unexpected.

i have wanted to tell my mum that I'm feeling this way but she has always been very blunt and if I told her about this what would I say I get so shy and embarrassed when I even think of telling her. I feel like if I tell her and have to go to a GP to get diagnosed and medication and therapy it will be too much of a burden on her. I don't want to make her spend more money.

if anyone has tips or ideas on how to talk to her about it I would love to hear. But I'm scared she will think I'm just lieing...

thanks ~ B

[Lori]

Hi 8r00k33y,

Firstly i would like to say welcome to the Beyondblue forums and well done for reaching out. I am terribly sorry to hear about the passing of you grandfather it's such a horrible thing to go through and experience.

Death's in the family affect people in all different ways. Your dad telling you a lie about the smoking is not very good of him, but maybe he lied so you wouldn't be disappointed or there might be a reason behind it for him smoking but keeping it a secret ? could you ask him so you can understand a bit better about why ? 

I can relate to having dreams similar and the fear they give, i have also experienced anxiety attacks over bad dreams also. What i found that i helped was that before i went to bed i  would practice relaxation skills to help clear my mind and keep me calm before falling asleep.. it can be as simple as taking 10 deep breaths before going to sleep. Just know that it isn't uncommon to have these sorts of dreams and to have these reactions but just remember they are not real and are not guaranteed to happen.

Talking to mum can be incredibly hard about these issues, i know you don't want to be a burden but i believe that it is best that she at least knows what your going through and how your feeling. If your mum is willing to listen let her know exactly how you feel and if you want or don't want professional help let her know that too. I am sure she cares for you and would want what's best for you..

See how you go, and stay strong!

It will get better in time.

- Lori 🙂

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hi Brooke,

The most simpilist answer here, is to visit your school councillor. If you don't know anything about them ask your teachers if you have one or if there is anyone who tries to help out.

Next step is to go to the GP, if your concerned just tell your mum you feel crook, see the dr alone and have an initial chat about how your feeling and your concerns with your mum, get a feel for each other before you bring your mum in on the next session or something.

My point is you need to make a move on these things early because its a very real possibility it will get harder. And you have caught it very early which is great!