First of all: thank-you Grace!!
& Thankyou to everyone else also for all your kind words, understanding & support.
im grateful that I have found this site & a way to communicate with others who know just what to say to make me feel a little better in this crazy world 🙂
secondly,
just an up-date: finally my workplace has realized my need to be moved to another environment during this stressful time of my life.
This is great! It is conditional though (if I don't impress them in the new environment I might get fired). but I'm still excited at the opportunity.
unfortunately for this change to come about some rather horrible things did occur.
it all happened today:
Ive been getting attacked frequently and today I just snapped; I swore in front of the child and other adults.
a HUGE no-no!!
Im pretty embarrassed about it & feel extremely guilty! The child is non-verbal but I pray that the child won't remember my words. Imagine if the first word they ever say is the rude one I yelled out!!!! I would never forgive myself 😞
after being sexually assaulted, and now being hit, punched, slapped and spat at every day at work I just don't know what to do ... I feel like I can't cope being physically or sexually hurt at work. I know the students don't mean it, they can't help it & that inside they are probably hurting a lot more & that the punch they gave to me is nothing compared to what they may be feeling. But after being hit a lot as a child I feel like I can't cope being repeatedly hit day after day at work.
This makes me feel even worse because I feel like my past is affecting my life and my ability to do a job. Like if I didn't have those experiences in the past I would have not opportunities now and in the future. It's just another feeling that sometimes life is just not fair!
I will speak to my psychologist about this, but in the meantime does anyone have any experience of anything like this and is willing to share any advice?
