Hi and welcome.
You are not making something out of nothing.
Gray is my fav. color. Why am I telling you this? At one time I was talking colors with my psychiatrist as I had an image in my head I could not get rid of. So I then looked at meaning of other colors. With many things there are positives and negatives. Two associations with gray are "emotionless" and "moody".
At key times in my life at times when I should be happy or excited, I was not or perhaps no feeling. These were just events in my life. At least that is how it feels. It was and is easy for me to find the negative in a situation.
I would like to be able to notice the beauty in a flower.
I also suck when it comes times accepting compliments. I cannot accept that I can do a good job. Part of this came from events when I was a lot younger when I was told that what I did was never good enough. I am supposedly working through this at the moment.
We are also shaped by our experiences and upbringing.
The only advice I can give you is related to accepting compliments... when you receive it, just say thank you and put a full stop behind it. I would add a 'but'. You are worthy of the compliment you have received.
There may be also be positives in being emotionless. What we think of ourselves can be different to how others see us as well. Life is different to what is shown on the TV screen.
That all of this can make you hate yourself (and 'hate' to me is a strong word) you could perhaps have a chat with the kids helpline as suggested above. They will listen and help you find a way forward.
Tim
