Born a Sadist?

[FringeWar]

Troy here.

Since Kindergarten, I have seemingly derived pleasure out of other's physical pain. I had a female friend then, and she always seemed to get hurt. I remember feeling some guilt in these instances, which makes me wonder if I was inflicting the pain covertly; my memorys are hazy.

When we were to draw ourselves in the career of our choice, I strangely drew my self as a creepy doctor with a circular saw standing over a busty woman on a surgery table. I was not abused as a child, and my parents/teachers didn't seem to notice. I would go on my slap my older brother across the face with a plastic frog and laugh hysterically for no reason shortly thereafter.

From anecdotes relayed to me in my teens, I was adored by my older sister's female friends ad nauseum; I was the envy of mothers--a cute kid. But wouldn't this just make me a narcissist?

Nowadays, at 19, I have seemingly dropped the intense sadism I have felt towards teenage girls when I was ages 16-18, but occasional and breif episodes will occur when I am intensly attracted to a particilar female. I hope that I will cease to experience intense surges of aggression when coming into contact with teenage females.

However, I am bewhildered as to how I became a sadist in the first place. Are my genetics to blame? Does being adored by females in childhood constitute an environment condusive to the development of sadism?

[Croix]

Dear Troy

A developing young person is not the same as being an adult, which you are becoming, but a growing process and I suspect the mind has to grow, at least in part, though fantasies.

You do not seem to have actually hurt anybody - apart from hitting an older brother with a frog - and if you were truly malign I suspect it would have manifest itself by now.

As to where fantasies come from, I have no idea, the mind can take just about anything and turn it into something else, that's what artists do.

I guess if you have a real worry abut this then go see your GP and in an extended consultation explain as you have above.

Croix

[P0L0]

Hi Troy,

Welcome to the forums, and congrats on reaching out for guidance.

You should not feel too concerned about these fantasies. I am a fellow 19yo male and I would just like to say that those types of fantasies can be typical of anyone our age. We are just figuring ourselves out, right?

Moreover, living in a society dominated by males, in which females are often deemed lesser, as is evident by the gender pay gap, tiny proportion of women in leadership roles and so on. All throughout history, women have been oppressed by men, and this can lead to fantasies of males dominating women.

However, this does not become a problem unless you make it a problem. If you respect everyone equally every day, then you might find yourself losing these sadistic desires.

P0L0