Compulsive Behaviours and Stressful Thoughts
Lately, I have been feeling and doing things that are strange compared to how I used to be. I have compulsive behaviours, such as swiping up on my phone to check if I have any tabs open every few seconds, picking at my skin continuously and some other behaviours similar to this. In addition to this, I have been feeling a lot of self-doubt about my abilities, obsessing and not forgiving myself for small mistakes. When someone used to make an annoying or mean comment, I would just brush it off. But now, I cry about it and think that everything mean people say about me is true and that I am a fraud, even though these people barely know me. Even little jokes by my family calling me dumb when I do something silly affects me, even though I know they don't mean it and I used to laugh about it before. At first I thought that I am just going through a rough patch, but it is getting worse. These feelings and behaviours reduce my motivation to do anything, which in turn makes me feel lazy and unworthy. I just feel stuck on what to do and where to go from here because I am not really sure what's going on.
Might I suggest several possibilities here. I also remind readers we are not professional medical staff.
I can relate to your symptoms. Did you know that up to 20% of all people have HSP (highly sensitive people). I'm sure I'm one of them and it has diminished a lot with age. It has also been balanced better with a counter approach eg standing up for myself which is challenging to do but justified or these people that identify others as an easy target will walk all over us. It is akin to one country invading another, allow it to happen and it will indeed happen hence a good defence is appropriate.
Your compulsive behaviours isnt uncommon and could be anxiety related needing some medical treatment. Anxiety is a serious illness and I have tackled that over many years with, in my case at least, total success. Identifying the need for relaxation and life changes is a big step forward and rarely tackled by sufferers, so well done in having some insight.
Here is some information on overcoming anxiety.
Lack of confidence seems a factor, low self esteem is a common problem and sometimes a learned experience from the past. A long term goal is to be able to laugh these symptoms off and one day talk to a younger person as I am now and direct them on a good path to that happiness.
Finally, distraction. It isnt a remedy as such but a way of relieving the stress of your obsessive actions.
I hope they help. You only need to read the first post of each. Repost if you have questions