Young people

How do i recover from this? What’s the condition?

replies: 4

I have really bad memories from when i was in my previous school which was co-ed and i was hugged and “touched” [it was really close to my private areas but i did not understand cause i was really naive and stupid back then], even though it was obvio... View more

I have really bad memories from when i was in my previous school which was co-ed and i was hugged and “touched” [it was really close to my private areas but i did not understand cause i was really naive and stupid back then], even though it was obviously visible that i didn’t like it and said no and told them to stop(my classmates, mainly just from one person). Even though i told that person ( N) that i did not like it and kept on pushing him away, but N kept on doing it cause they enjoyed the way i reacted. I was scared to tell others cause 1. N was a year older than me and 2. N was really popular and outgoing, so i figured everyone would listen to him rather than some quiet and sky kid that sits in the back of the class. Now years later even though i no longer see N anymore i cant help but feel disgusted whenever someone esp of the opposite gender when they come close. [three feet is the closest range where i feel comfortable] my body would somehow freeze . This is bad cause I can’t really ask questions to my teachers cause i hate it when they get close (cause they can’t see my working out ) and i keep on stuttering and sometimes it gets hard to breathe. And now I’m scared of the opposite gender and i know that they’re not like N but i can’t help but feeling scared. Also my friends thinks that thinks I’m some kind of “arrogant” person just cause i refuse to hug them. I really don’t Iike it and feel really uncomfortable when any gender gets close and make any kind of skin contact e.g. poking or touching my arm or holing my hand. Any skin to skin contact, i can’t. After any type of skin contact happens, i have this urge to execessively clean that area and after using excessive amounts of anti-bacterial soap. How do i get “better” so that i dont feel disgusted when someone makes contact, accidental or not? Though its been more than 3 years since I’ve seen N how do i tell him that all this has happened to me all because of them? I get mad at myself every time i think about it. I really want to get better so that i no longer feel uncomfortable when someone accidentally run into me, and I really want to hug the people I love comfortably. (To moderators : sorry if this is in the wrong forum i’s really appreciate it if you could move it to the right forum)

hard to go to my dad's house

replies: 3

hi people on here are helpful so.. my parents are divorced, they had a pretty tough breakup they were both alcoholics at the time and there was alot of physical abuse from what I can remember coming from mainly my dad, but my mum was also quite verba... View more

hi people on here are helpful so.. my parents are divorced, they had a pretty tough breakup they were both alcoholics at the time and there was alot of physical abuse from what I can remember coming from mainly my dad, but my mum was also quite verbally abusive. They divorced in 2016 and I've been going to my dad's house every Wednesday after school and every second weekend. that schedule lasted until around when lockdown started, my little brother and I didn't go to our dad's as much since we were doing online school and it was just easier doing schooling at my mum's place with all my school books and stuff there. i was still going but it was more like one weekend each month or something like that. it's the school holidays now and I feel really guilty for missing out on all that time I could've been at his place seeing as he lives with his girlfriend but she works alot of the time and I felt bad because he might of been feeling really lonely? whenever I go to his place now I feel like I'm not supposed to be there or like I'm interrupting something or in the way? i feel like I'm not wanted at all at my dad's place and that they both secretly hate me and that I'm an inconvenience. i know he thinks we don't like him anymore but I really want to go but everytime I go I feel really guilty about even being related to my mum because I'm being unloyal or that I'm exactly like my mum? they still don't have the best relationship. i hope this makes sense and I'm writing this as I'm procrastinating walking to my dad's so if anyone can help in any way or even someone else who's going through the same thing can relate or? thank you

Hi

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new here so I am a bit nervous to be opening up. Before I start I just wanted to say I hope u are all well. I guess I should tell u a little about myself. 3 or 4 years ago I went to headspace for the first time. I had been strugglin... View more

Hi everyone, I am new here so I am a bit nervous to be opening up. Before I start I just wanted to say I hope u are all well. I guess I should tell u a little about myself. 3 or 4 years ago I went to headspace for the first time. I had been struggling long before then but I had only just got the courage to ask my parents if I could go to therapy. I started to go pretty regularly and I was comfortable with my therapist. However, about 12 months afterwards I stopped going. This was a result of circumstances (my therapist decided to start their own practice, it was getting expensive). During my time with headspace, my therapist conducted some assessments which indicated that I had anxiety and OCD. However, they were a strong believer in not labelling things so I never got a diagnosis. This has made life very difficult. I feel as though I cannot say I have OCD or anxiety as I am not officially diagnosed. I feel like a fraud and do not want to promote self-diagnosis. Since my time at headspace I have not gone back to therapy. I have fallen into this space where I once again am too scared to start the process to go back to therapy. And life since then has been one of ups and downs. I have had some good times but I have also had some really bad times. And now I find myself in a really bad mindset. With nobody to contact for support. This is perhaps the lowest I have ever felt in my life. I know I need help. I have seen what can happen when something is left too long. But the problem is I can’t wait 6-8 weeks to get into headspace, I need help now. I want to get an official diagnosis so I can begin to embrace recovery. I want to be able to sleep at night without my brain filling with intrusive thoughts. I want support so that I can continue working through what is going on. Recently I have had a regular intrusive thought which is rather scary for me. It is what I guess u could call the last nail in the coffin. It signals to me that I need help now. That this can’t continue. Anyway I will stop there as I am sure I am boring u by talking about myself. I hope u all have a good day.

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely.

replies: 1

G'day all, I don't know where else to go, so I guess here will do. I'm 16 years old, I have several offline and online tightly-knit friend groups, but I still feel lonely. I dissociate regularly, and when I look in the mirror, I don't really know who... View more

G'day all, I don't know where else to go, so I guess here will do. I'm 16 years old, I have several offline and online tightly-knit friend groups, but I still feel lonely. I dissociate regularly, and when I look in the mirror, I don't really know who I'm looking at sometimes. I've never had a relationship in my life. I've only been game enough to ask someone out once (a couple years ago by now, and to one of my closer friends at the time), and I haven't spoken to them since. I used to think that a relationship would help the lonely feelings, but at this point I'm not so sure. I'm absolutely terrible at opening up to people. My best friends always say that I can talk to them whenever I want, but when I actually feel like it, I don't want to bother them. It's taken me half an hour to write this post up to here, because I keep thinking that nobody wants to hear my random depressed ramblings. But that is what this site is for I guess, so whatever. I've been to many different therapists, but I've never been able to open up to them, always defaulting to my 'person on the street' persona, which is just a very casual and cheerful version of myself, the version which anyone who (for example) asked me for directions on the street would get. I repress a lot of negative emotions and memories into something I call 'the vault'. I picture the bad thing being locked into a big metal bank vault, and then forget about it as best as I can. I know this is bad, but I don't know what else to do with it. My family isn't abusive, or split, or anything really. I had a very comfortable upbringing, I was generally towards the top of my class. Everyone seems to regard me as 'friendly', or 'chill'. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to gain from this, but I really just want to let it out. Anywhere. -- Thanks for reading.

Why I never date!

replies: 4

Hi - I know this is quite common in the world but I really struggle dealing with my overthinking mind while dating. Once I go on a date and if it goes really well I tend to stress alot to the point that my stomach is pain. My mind goes straight to do... View more

Hi - I know this is quite common in the world but I really struggle dealing with my overthinking mind while dating. Once I go on a date and if it goes really well I tend to stress alot to the point that my stomach is pain. My mind goes straight to does he like me does he hate me. What happens if he's not ready? Am I not right for him. I try to do breathing exercises I try alot of things to just have a break from feeling anxious. Like it can last for weeks. I never use to be like this but I've been ghosted once and it just has done a number on me. This is the first time I dated in a while and it kinda reminds me why I don't do it, but I know I have to stick through it. I don't know if I should take this as a sign that I'm not ready or I am ready and it's my anxiety winning.

Year 12 and toxic friends

replies: 7

Term one of year 12 is already done and I’m stressed about the atar and all that stuff. There are so many things going on and I’m on the verge of breaking down everyday. The pressure of getting a 91+ atar is getting to me. I know there are alternate ... View more

Term one of year 12 is already done and I’m stressed about the atar and all that stuff. There are so many things going on and I’m on the verge of breaking down everyday. The pressure of getting a 91+ atar is getting to me. I know there are alternate pathways but i can’t for reasons. After the first assessment I burnt out and the coming assessments I didn’t do that well. And i feel like I’ve one nothing in the break and a week have passed already. How do i recover from a burn out? Another thing is my “friends” they are another reason that’s putting the unnecessary stress. And i only have a small group of friends but sometimes i feel so alone even though I’m physically there with them. I’d have to listen to all their rants about their family and other people but whenever i wanna tell them my worries they say stuff like you think we’re not feeling the same way? And all those comments about how I’m being selfish just because i told them my worry. One of them is the worst out of the three(let’s call them C). I told C, my worry about year 12 and the hsc and she was like dont stress about it then? Like its that easy. And when I said that C was like fine you’re getting a 30 atar and all that stuff. I’m already dealing with the voices in. my head i dont need another to tell me I’m worthless, dumb and a piece of trash like i get it. And most days i dont wanna go to school or i dont want my lessons to end because of them i dont want to see their faces or talk to them. But they wont leave me alone. Whenever i stay quiet cause I’m trying to deal with my thoughts C comes and annoys me and starts to physically abuse me. I hate contact with people unless I’m really close to me i get uncomfortable when people hug me or touch me. I told C to stop touching me and C was like “ nah i bet when you get a partner you wont stop touching them (holding hands and stuff)” and when i told C to stop and yelled at them, they’re like geez someone’s in a bad mood. C tells me all her problems and when gossips about others that i don’t even know and i cant be bothered to listen to C talk about all the things they hate and whenever i ask them for advice they’re like idc and C is like oh I’m finishing the syllabus for maths and chem and all their subjects which is not helping with the fact that I’m stressing out about the upcoming year. It’s so frustrating. I know this is childish but pls help i dont think i can do this for one more year. what do i do?

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

replies: 7

This is my first time posting anything so I’m sorry if what I say is wrong or if it makes no sense, I’m a little nervous about this. I’m just gonna share a few things, and ask for some thoughts. Whenever I talk to some of my friends, it feels like ev... View more

This is my first time posting anything so I’m sorry if what I say is wrong or if it makes no sense, I’m a little nervous about this. I’m just gonna share a few things, and ask for some thoughts. Whenever I talk to some of my friends, it feels like everyone is ignoring me. I could say something or ask a question and then the topic changes, at it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough to the point that I’m starting to think this way. I could say a joke then, someone might say “that’s not funny”, or “that’s disgusting”, but then someone else a few minutes later says word for word what I said, and everyone laughs. It confuses me and then I think to myself, am I the problem? In that group of friends, one of them I’m good friends with, but sometimes she does stuff that make me question weather or not she want to be friends at all. We might say let’s play a game in a few minutes, the she’s playing with another person and says she’ll play in an hour, when I ask why she didn’t say to the other person that she said she was gonna play with me, she says she forgot, (granted this has only happened twice). Another time I asked if she wanted to do something on the weekend, she said she couldn’t cause she was doing family stuff, then I hear from other friend that they were all going out somewhere and not only was this about a few days after I asked her, but none of them invited my until about 10pm the night before. This next part is me hating my self. In short, I’m fat. I know I am and I’m trying to lose weight, but I wake up one morning with so much confidence, but then a week later I’m back to where I started. I’m trying to go on a low carb diet, so that I can burn more fat because I’m not interested in building a lot of muscle, but 1. My dad is feeding me a lot of carbs and when I told him I wanted to diet he just told me I don’t know what I’m talking about 2. The people around me aren’t supportive at all, whenever I get back from what ever workout I was doing, I might tell them what I did, they just say they don’t care and what ever I did was nothing compared to what they can do. for the most part, the only 2 reasons I want to keep going is so that no one can call me fat again, and so that I’m not ashamed of who I am and I can finally be looked at as an equal rather than dirt. I’m sorry if what I’ve said is just “teen issues” I just have no one to ask for help and I wanted to know if anyone has gone through something similar and knows how to cope.

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating

replies: 7

Hi! Me and my friend recently finished Year 12. He behaviour has been concerning to me for a while now. For example, he refused to look at his scores on tests and assignments (even practice tests), even if his scores were actually pretty good. He wou... View more

Hi! Me and my friend recently finished Year 12. He behaviour has been concerning to me for a while now. For example, he refused to look at his scores on tests and assignments (even practice tests), even if his scores were actually pretty good. He would often say phrases like "I hate myself" as well, and used to talk about suicide a lot. He assured me he would never actually kill himself saying he is "too much of a b**** to actually kill himself", however this just makes me even more concerned for his mental state! I tried encouraging him to seek professional help, but he always refused, citing that he believed it wouldn't help him. I'm not sure exactly how aware his parents are of his mental state, but I know they are at least somewhat aware as they bought him a dog a while back specifically to help him in that regard (which worked for a while, but not permanently). I talked with him a fair bit previously, but never took further action because I thought he was just stressed with the pressure of Yr12 exams, but now school has ended, it has started getting worse. He really liked a girl so our group encouraged him to ask her on a date. He eventually did and she agreed, but was busy on the weekend he asked, and now him and her can't meet up this week or next week, so he took that to mean she just said yes to be polite but doesn't really like him, saying things like "I've given up" and threatening to block her. Regardless, I think he believes no-one likes him even though he is actually intelligent, very physically apt, and good looking. We play games together and often he brings up the subject of how sad his life is, and how he has "given up" (with regards to the girl). I just want to help him but sometimes I feel I am saying the wrong things or other times I feel guilty for not helping him more. Sorry for the long post!

Stress due to ATAR

replies: 4

Hi everyone this is my first time talking. There is 2 days left till I get my ATAR and I feel really overwhelmed. I tired talking to my parents but they don’t really pay that much attention to things like that and I am really worried for my result an... View more

Hi everyone this is my first time talking. There is 2 days left till I get my ATAR and I feel really overwhelmed. I tired talking to my parents but they don’t really pay that much attention to things like that and I am really worried for my result and I don’t know who to talk to anymore. All my other friends are smart and will easily achieve a good score but I am scared of being compared against them and disappointing my parents how do I deal with this.

ongoing career dilemma

replies: 2

Hi beyondblue community, 2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status ... View more

Hi beyondblue community, 2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status means that I can still study my degree. However, if I fail 50% or more of my course load, I will get terminated from my OT degree. My main problem was not practicising enough for a must pass exam. During the holidays, I have been making the pros and cons for my OT degree. It is a AQF 8 qualification. I was told by the accessibility officer that OT is a hard degree and that I might want to consider another course. She was concerned about my ongoing/complex trauma. The thing is I would like to be in the helping profession. However, I also feel like I'm just not 'ready' for OT too. Mainly because the psychologist told me how abusive my household really is when all this time I've been denying it as a coping mechanism. I feel like I don't suit the image of a health professional. My life is not perfect. I feel like going to university has exacerbated my trauma. I get really worried that I'm not in the right course and that I'm making things more difficult for myself w my trauma past. I feel like OT is unrealistic for me. I have considered other courses like nursing, social work etc. However, I will need to get back on good standing to switch. It seems like I have thought this through. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

How do i recover from this? What’s the condition?

replies: 4

hard to go to my dad's house

replies: 3

Hi

replies: 2

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely.

replies: 1

Why I never date!

replies: 4

Year 12 and toxic friends

replies: 7

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

replies: 7

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating

replies: 7

Stress due to ATAR

replies: 4

ongoing career dilemma

replies: 2

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

How do i recover from this? What’s the condition? replies: 4

hard to go to my dad's house replies: 3

Hi replies: 2

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely. replies: 1

Why I never date! replies: 4

Year 12 and toxic friends replies: 7

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do replies: 7

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating replies: 7

Stress due to ATAR replies: 4

ongoing career dilemma replies: 2

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

How do i recover from this? What’s the condition?

replies: 4

hard to go to my dad's house

replies: 3

Hi

replies: 2

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely.

replies: 1

Why I never date!

replies: 4

Year 12 and toxic friends

replies: 7

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

replies: 7

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating

replies: 7

Stress due to ATAR

replies: 4

ongoing career dilemma

replies: 2