Young people

Restrained from your dreams by doubts

replies: 1

Hi all, I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life comple... View more

Hi all, I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life completely and going to join some hippy commune away from everything. I have a declining social reach as I am quite introverted and many people or old friends don't have time to invest in me so I get forgotten about, I want to start a band but have no connections to like-minded individuals, I have been in a long term relationship and I am beginning to feel trapped in that I want to live a single life again through fears of not meeting more people (but I don't want to ruin a good friendship either), and I want to leave Adelaide to find a more meaningful life purpose but don't know if that's realistic or where to go. I just feel weighted down by my lack of social life and my fear of breaking away from conformity to be free. hope I'm not speaking in tongues and someone can offer their similar situational adivce. Thanks

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home

replies: 1

So at the start of this year I moved out of home and am now living 6hr away. I am currently living by myself. I had moved to start a new job and career after finishing uni. I really struggled at the start. I just felt so overwhelmed. I struggled to b... View more

So at the start of this year I moved out of home and am now living 6hr away. I am currently living by myself. I had moved to start a new job and career after finishing uni. I really struggled at the start. I just felt so overwhelmed. I struggled to balance my new job, all of the household chores, finding new friends and looking after myself. I had never felt more alone. I would cry myself to sleep every night and wasn't getting much sleep I just wanted to give up and move back home. I felt too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it at the time. I thought if I said anything out loud I would be a failure. It started to effect me at work and my boss had noticed and a few co-workers. I was offered support but I said that I didn't need it. Then COVID happened and I started to feel even more alone and isolated. Then I met a boy and got into a relationship and thing were really good for a little while. He has introduced me to his friends and I was apart of their social circle. I had someone I could count on and who would be there for me. He had really helped support me when I couldn't travel home to see my family during lockdown. I felt like I was getting a grip on life. Anyway it slowly become apparent that he had some drug/alcohol and gambling problems but did not want to get any help. We stared to fight and we have had some very big fights recently and have broken up. Which was probably for the best Now I feel like I am back to square one. In a new town so far away from anyone I know and all alone. I just miss my mum so much but i'm too embarrassed to tell her. I just want to move back home so badly but I will be such a failure for it. My work has been very busy and I have made a few big mistakes recently. But I do really enjoy my work when I have a reasonable workload for the day and alot my co-workers are feeling the same way (union has been involved for some time). I'm really just feeling so lost right now. I've wasted a whole year and haven't achieved anything.

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar

replies: 4

Hi... it's me. It feels like everytime my mom or my best friend ask me if I'm alright or if something is wrong, I just respond with "It's nothing. I'm fine, just feeling a little tired."... I'm tired of being 'tired' all the time. Everytime I say 'ti... View more

Hi... it's me. It feels like everytime my mom or my best friend ask me if I'm alright or if something is wrong, I just respond with "It's nothing. I'm fine, just feeling a little tired."... I'm tired of being 'tired' all the time. Everytime I say 'tired' it seems to mean so much more than sleepy - it means mentally and emotionally exhausted, it means I need to cry until my head hurts, it means I feel really depressed, it means I'm developing bad anxiety, it means I feel lonely despite your love and attention, it means when I compare me to myself I always fall short and I want to know when that started and how I can stop feeling that way. Nothing is 'fine' anymore. Or maybe everything is fine and I'm just craving something to be more than 'fine' and I want something to be great. I'm not really sure what I want to achieve by posting this, whether it's sympathy, anecdotes of similar experiences or advice, I just wanted to vent slightly about how much I hate the word 'fine'. Thanks for reading I guess... I hope you will interact with this post but if you don't, I guess that's also 'fine'.

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school

replies: 3

hi all, So lately I've always been feeling ashamed of how I act at school, more specifically stuff like overly putting myself down (which seems to annoy my classmates, who are all lovely people) and acting kinda stuck up and nerdy, but in a REALLY an... View more

hi all, So lately I've always been feeling ashamed of how I act at school, more specifically stuff like overly putting myself down (which seems to annoy my classmates, who are all lovely people) and acting kinda stuck up and nerdy, but in a REALLY annoying and snotty way. It may sound weird that I'm observing this stuff but have not solved the problem already. You see, at school, I feel as though all of my actions are under a microscope, being looked at by both my peers and myself. I think I crack under the pressure of that mindset and I don't think about what I say/do when I'm around my peers. After school, I over-analyse my actions that day and cringe at what I've done, and start to freak out about how my classmates would view me. I fear that I've already created a crappy impression of myself to them, so they'll always see me as that cringy, annoying, stuck-up girl. Also, it seems that my classmates have kinda created an image for me, as a really nerdy, studious, "know-it-all" girl, and honestly I feel like I've moulded myself to fit that (at least during the time I'm at school, I seem to align myself with that "persona"). I also feel like at school I act way too dramatic, loud and over the top, and although I find myself funny, I know I annoy the crap out of my peers. At school, I act and talk somewhat impulsively and I just know that my classmates would talk about it with each other (they're all very observant, and I've been in conversations where they analyse other people's actions really closely, so it wouldn't be that unrealistic for them to be talking like that about me). This makes me kinda feel like an outcast, and I almost feel like I'm slipping down a mountain and can't grab on, because I constantly lose control of my actions. At times like these, I feel like isolating myself completely from my friends so I have no chance of embarrassing myself, but my psychologist (who I don't very often, and I have talked to on this issue but I would still like another perspective on it) has told me that this is a bad idea, which is fair, and she said that I should work harder to be close to + hang out with them all! I know that it's possible to control them and be more controlled in general, but I need some advice on it. Deep down I dream (ahah this sounds so cringy) of one day being like some of the year 12 girls at my school. They're graceful, kind, and calm, and although they're not perfect they just seem so in control of themselves and their image!

Should I seek another diagnosis?

replies: 4

Short and simple: I fear I might have ADHD. Maybe fear isn't the right word. I fear that me thinking I have ADHD is conceited. To clarify, I was diagnosed with depression. Can't say what it is exactly, since I don't remember. It was a while ago, more... View more

Short and simple: I fear I might have ADHD. Maybe fear isn't the right word. I fear that me thinking I have ADHD is conceited. To clarify, I was diagnosed with depression. Can't say what it is exactly, since I don't remember. It was a while ago, more than a year at this point, and I haven't seen a 'professional' for more than half a year. While I'm sure asking for advice here isn't... great, well. I want to. Here's a lil rundown of my stupidity. I am currently facing three wonderful assignments. Two are exams, one is a proper project (that I can't even begin to unpack, I don't understand it and no one seems to be willing to actually help) So obviously, I come home and say that I'll work. Cue me looking at the clock, having done absolutely nothing, and its time to sleep. I can't even think straight typing this. I want to stop already and play a game or something. Same goes for things in class. I either stare at my screen blankly, or I stick my face into my phone trying to hide it. It's awful. I never get work done, and it becomes extra awful if someone I know is sitting with me because then they become my point to bounce from. I can't tell if it's the depression on its own, a possible anxiety disorder (I say possible, but I know for a fact that the intensity and frequency ain't normal) or if I really may have ADHD. As a side note, I only got diagnosed so recently because my family was sceptical of my struggles and I tried hiding it from them. Tl;dr, I suspect that my inability to focus or work may stem from more than just depression. Is it worth seeking out another diagnosis, or should I just chalk it up to depression?

Being the disappointment of the family

replies: 4

Hey guys, I'm Tyrone (as you can see from my username), the last few days I've been feeling a hard wave of disappointment. I feel like I've embarrassed my parents for too long now, at this point I don't know what to do, since family came back from ov... View more

Hey guys, I'm Tyrone (as you can see from my username), the last few days I've been feeling a hard wave of disappointment. I feel like I've embarrassed my parents for too long now, at this point I don't know what to do, since family came back from overseas - they've been a real tight arse on me, I'm no longer entitled to make my own decisions no more, no longer allowed to see friends, no longer allowed to socialise. I try my best not be so hard on myself, to show my siblings that I can continue walking on my own two feet, but I'm tired and it hurts trying to maintain a peaceful mind when the whole world has felt like it's turned against me. This year has taken a toll on me, I lost all my friends because someone spread rumours about me cheating on my ex girlfriend. Knowing that those things unfolded, I had people in my church confront me on stuff I didn't do; I ended up swallowing the hard pill and take the lie because I didn't want my ex to be part of all that stuff, she went through enough hearing those things from other people. A few months after all the incidents happened, I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn't stand the pain no more. I've always been one to watch out for those people, but as soon as I needed them - they all turned against me, family and friends. I kinda wish the pain and suffering would stop, I'm really tired fighting to be a better person when all these things are still on my back.

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends

replies: 2

Hi this is my (21 M) first forum post so idk if I’ve already broken any rules with the spicy title but it true and I’ve got a list now so I’ll take it one by one bi- tbh I don’t even know what I am (definitely lean closer to gay) and I’ve been told t... View more

Hi this is my (21 M) first forum post so idk if I’ve already broken any rules with the spicy title but it true and I’ve got a list now so I’ll take it one by one bi- tbh I don’t even know what I am (definitely lean closer to gay) and I’ve been told that’s okay but like it’s still annoying not being straight because everything would be so much easier but hey that’s life and I’ve kinda learnt to deal with this thing and just decided that if I can’t find a girl who I can love for real for real I’ll just stay single out of family/community requirements and that’s okay for now Muslim - I’ll start by saying I’m not a great Muslim i don’t pray I drink I smoke I lie and I have gay hookups BUT I love my religion so much the love compassion and power built into it combined with the knowledge and energy I receive from it from it is unparalleled religion has always been a path back to stasis for whenever I feel overwhelmed however it is hard being gay and Muslim as those paths have zero space for overlap drug habit- I smoke weed socially on a daily basis and have done for the past 2 years It started after I received a undeserved fail on a uni subject and developed into an escape from reality. I have subsequently failed my last 3 semesters as I spend most of my spare time smoking with my friends. I see weed as a double edged sword on one hand it helps me escape a lot of the anxiety of my sexuality which is so very nice however this escape becomes too comfortable and it takes away from my productivity and self improvement toxicish friends- while I consider myself an introvert I have been told the opposite by enough people to know better. I have a decent amount of friends from all walks of life however they’re not all as accessible or entertaining as my oldest friends from my private Muslim high school who I see and smoke with on a daily basis and while I genuinely love and care for these boys as my own brothers I know that they’re not great for my mental health as I’m being called gay slurs “as banter” however I know these boys care about me as long as they think I’m straight. And when we’re all chill and happy together I feel at home with them. However there was an incident where I was recently accidentally outed to one of the boys by a mutual friend who I’ve come out too this spread the news to the whole group and caused strife however I was ‘tested’ and reconvinced them of my ‘straightness’ after a ‘spontaneous’ brothel trip, this is where I lost my virginity...

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me

replies: 2

Hi everyone, just a little context; I'm 15 and I'm the oldest sibling of 3, and I live with my mum and her partner (not my dad). I'm just finishing yr 10 and plan on going to uni which I'm working towards rn aswell. My mum and her partner are really ... View more

Hi everyone, just a little context; I'm 15 and I'm the oldest sibling of 3, and I live with my mum and her partner (not my dad). I'm just finishing yr 10 and plan on going to uni which I'm working towards rn aswell. My mum and her partner are really harsh on the kids in my family, and I feel like especially me. She is always setting rules and boundaries that I think are completely out of line and are really unreasonable. It's too much for me to handle and I don't know what to do because they just take everything away from me because they think it's the right thing to do. I already get my devices taken off of me every night after dinner, even if I have homework or an assignment to finish and they often confiscate them for days at a time. I'm not allowed to talk to my friends most of the time and most nights I end up crying in my room because they get angry and say really mean stuff to me (e.g. make points regarding me being a failure, eating disorders, fat shaming, cussing at me etc.), and I don't have anyone to talk to. They keep on insisting that I am a horrible kid and need to be grounded all of the time. I am a really good student and work hard all the time, and I also participate in activities outside of school that all important and they have stopped me going to them too. So far they have written a 3 page "contract" that has a bunch of really unfair rules and made me sign it (if I didn't then I wouldn't be allowed my phone or see any of my friends outside of school ever). They recently grounded me for a month and won't tell me why, and also took my bedroom door off it hinges because "they haven't got anything else to take but my privacy". They've given me a long list of things to do so I can get my door put back on but I'm struggling and I don't believe that any of this is the right thing to do. I've tried talking to them before about how I think their rules are too strict and unrealistic but they keep ignoring me and won't respect my opinion. They also plan on getting a family control app which gives them access to everything on my phone and I dont know what to do because I feel kind of violated by the way they keep taking away my freedom and privacy. And im not trying to make excuses but I am definitely not the worst behaved kid, and I do not think that I deserve the punishment they've given me. I'm so done with all the crap they dish out and I don't want to be feeling hurt or violated by my own family or crying all the time. Any help? Thanks

Worried about my future career options

replies: 1

I'm almost 22, currently in my second year going on to my third next and final year next year in a bachelor of communication advertising university degree. Trying to pick my classes for next year I have had many doubts this year on my overall course.... View more

I'm almost 22, currently in my second year going on to my third next and final year next year in a bachelor of communication advertising university degree. Trying to pick my classes for next year I have had many doubts this year on my overall course. I worry a lot about the jobs out there available in advertising, specifically where they are available. As I live a bit more inland and in the country side, it feels as if all the advertising roles are available outside of Melbourne and other large cities. My boyfriend and I don't tend to like the city and would prefer to live out of it, I have considered the possibility of living closer to the city but outside of the city, but housing prices seem so high where I have been looking. I worry that I will get nothing out of the bachelor and that I should have done a tafe course that will give me a specific qualification or skill that is more needed in the job market such as an engineer or a electrician. So many people tell me that I shouldn't worry about it because the job market is hard in any area and I just need to give it a go, but I just can't help worrying that what I'm doing is a waste of time. I really don't mind where I end up working, wither that's in administration or sales, all I want is a stable job that has the possibility of working up overtime to earn a higher salary, that has a base salary of around or over 50k a year. I have considered talking to someone and seeing if my university offers career counselling advice, but I feel like I don't have a clear career in mind for them to help me get into, they may not know what to tell me. Has anyone been through this or have any advice for me? I just want to be able to feel like I have some sort of a plan or multiple plans as a safety net, and I hate feeling like my current course is a waste of time, especially when they always emphasize the importance or networking and how so many people just say that its who you know that gets you into a job a lot of the time.

Feeling lost with life

replies: 1

Hi, I suppose I am looking for some guidance. For the last 9 years i have felt like i have lost myself. Long story short, I developed an eating disorder when i was very very young. During this time I lost my best friend. We use to do everything toget... View more

Hi, I suppose I am looking for some guidance. For the last 9 years i have felt like i have lost myself. Long story short, I developed an eating disorder when i was very very young. During this time I lost my best friend. We use to do everything together, always hang out on weekends etc.. Although sometimes, she wasn't exactly what others would call a best friend as she would often verbally abuse me and just be plain nasty i.e. tell me i couldn't hang with other people, force me to eat servings after servings of cake because i was skinnier than her and she wanted to make me fat, make me roll in mud etc. After our fallout, I moved schools within the same town and couldn't make friends, so i decided to focus on school and my grades, even on weekends i would spend the day doing homework. Consequently, with the lack of social interaction i developed social anxiety. I then moved towns and again schools, this time i became friendly with a group of people but i still didn't consider any as true friends as we would never hang out aside from school and i would always felt left out and couldn't relate. Again, i also focused on my grades and struggled to talk to people. At both new schools, people would often laugh at me and say things behind my back, things like that i was the devil or that i would just come home and stare at a wall all day. By my last year in high school i was truly recovered from my eating disorder and once I finished school and got my first proper job, it only lasted a month because my boss would verbally abuse me. So i spend my gap year staying inside the house. I then moved 600 km away from my family into the city to start university, hoping to start fresh, be a new person, and make friends. A year later, I changed degree as I was unsatisfied into a new degree that i still feel unsatisfied with but I'm still sticking with it. My plan to start fresh hasn't been going well, i can't make friends no matter how hard I try, nothing interest me anymore, I just sit at home in a house i rent by myself all day doing university work and just feel like I don't have a life. I've always felt that I was destined to do something great, but now I don't believe in this. My younger brother often tells me that no offense the last person he would want to be is me because i don't have a life. I feel like I've never been the same since developing the eating disorder, like I've missed a big part of my life and that everyone is getting somewhere in life except me.

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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Restrained from your dreams by doubts

replies: 1

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home

replies: 1

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar

replies: 4

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school

replies: 3

Should I seek another diagnosis?

replies: 4

Being the disappointment of the family

replies: 4

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends

replies: 2

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me

replies: 2

Worried about my future career options

replies: 1

Feeling lost with life

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Restrained from your dreams by doubts replies: 1

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home replies: 1

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar replies: 4

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school replies: 3

Should I seek another diagnosis? replies: 4

Being the disappointment of the family replies: 4

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends replies: 2

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me replies: 2

Worried about my future career options replies: 1

Feeling lost with life replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Restrained from your dreams by doubts

replies: 1

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home

replies: 1

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar

replies: 4

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school

replies: 3

Should I seek another diagnosis?

replies: 4

Being the disappointment of the family

replies: 4

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends

replies: 2

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me

replies: 2

Worried about my future career options

replies: 1

Feeling lost with life

replies: 1