Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely.

replies: 1

G'day all, I don't know where else to go, so I guess here will do. I'm 16 years old, I have several offline and online tightly-knit friend groups, but I still feel lonely. I dissociate regularly, and when I look in the mirror, I don't really know who I'm looking at sometimes. I've never had a relationship in my life. I've only been game enough to ask someone out once (a couple years ago by now, and to one of my closer friends at the time), and I haven't spoken to them since. I used to think that a relationship would help the lonely feelings, but at this point I'm not so sure. I'm absolutely terrible at opening up to people. My best friends always say that I can talk to them whenever I want, but when I actually feel like it, I don't want to bother them. It's taken me half an hour to write this post up to here, because I keep thinking that nobody wants to hear my random depressed ramblings. But that is what this site is for I guess, so whatever. I've been to many different therapists, but I've never been able to open up to them, always defaulting to my 'person on the street' persona, which is just a very casual and cheerful version of myself, the version which anyone who (for example) asked me for directions on the street would get. I repress a lot of negative emotions and memories into something I call 'the vault'. I picture the bad thing being locked into a big metal bank vault, and then forget about it as best as I can. I know this is bad, but I don't know what else to do with it. My family isn't abusive, or split, or anything really. I had a very comfortable upbringing, I was generally towards the top of my class. Everyone seems to regard me as 'friendly', or 'chill'. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to gain from this, but I really just want to let it out. Anywhere. -- Thanks for reading.

Why I never date!

replies: 4

Hi - I know this is quite common in the world but I really struggle dealing with my overthinking mind while dating. Once I go on a date and if it goes really well I tend to stress alot to the point that my stomach is pain. My mind goes straight to does he like me does he hate me. What happens if he's not ready? Am I not right for him. I try to do breathing exercises I try alot of things to just have a break from feeling anxious. Like it can last for weeks. I never use to be like this but I've been ghosted once and it just has done a number on me. This is the first time I dated in a while and it kinda reminds me why I don't do it, but I know I have to stick through it. I don't know if I should take this as a sign that I'm not ready or I am ready and it's my anxiety winning.

Year 12 and toxic friends

replies: 7

Term one of year 12 is already done and I’m stressed about the atar and all that stuff. There are so many things going on and I’m on the verge of breaking down everyday. The pressure of getting a 91+ atar is getting to me. I know there are alternate pathways but i can’t for reasons. After the first assessment I burnt out and the coming assessments I didn’t do that well. And i feel like I’ve one nothing in the break and a week have passed already. How do i recover from a burn out? Another thing is my “friends” they are another reason that’s putting the unnecessary stress. And i only have a small group of friends but sometimes i feel so alone even though I’m physically there with them. I’d have to listen to all their rants about their family and other people but whenever i wanna tell them my worries they say stuff like you think we’re not feeling the same way? And all those comments about how I’m being selfish just because i told them my worry. One of them is the worst out of the three(let’s call them C). I told C, my worry about year 12 and the hsc and she was like dont stress about it then? Like its that easy. And when I said that C was like fine you’re getting a 30 atar and all that stuff. I’m already dealing with the voices in. my head i dont need another to tell me I’m worthless, dumb and a piece of trash like i get it. And most days i dont wanna go to school or i dont want my lessons to end because of them i dont want to see their faces or talk to them. But they wont leave me alone. Whenever i stay quiet cause I’m trying to deal with my thoughts C comes and annoys me and starts to physically abuse me. I hate contact with people unless I’m really close to me i get uncomfortable when people hug me or touch me. I told C to stop touching me and C was like “ nah i bet when you get a partner you wont stop touching them (holding hands and stuff)” and when i told C to stop and yelled at them, they’re like geez someone’s in a bad mood. C tells me all her problems and when gossips about others that i don’t even know and i cant be bothered to listen to C talk about all the things they hate and whenever i ask them for advice they’re like idc and C is like oh I’m finishing the syllabus for maths and chem and all their subjects which is not helping with the fact that I’m stressing out about the upcoming year. It’s so frustrating. I know this is childish but pls help i dont think i can do this for one more year. what do i do?

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

replies: 7

This is my first time posting anything so I’m sorry if what I say is wrong or if it makes no sense, I’m a little nervous about this. I’m just gonna share a few things, and ask for some thoughts. Whenever I talk to some of my friends, it feels like everyone is ignoring me. I could say something or ask a question and then the topic changes, at it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough to the point that I’m starting to think this way. I could say a joke then, someone might say “that’s not funny”, or “that’s disgusting”, but then someone else a few minutes later says word for word what I said, and everyone laughs. It confuses me and then I think to myself, am I the problem? In that group of friends, one of them I’m good friends with, but sometimes she does stuff that make me question weather or not she want to be friends at all. We might say let’s play a game in a few minutes, the she’s playing with another person and says she’ll play in an hour, when I ask why she didn’t say to the other person that she said she was gonna play with me, she says she forgot, (granted this has only happened twice). Another time I asked if she wanted to do something on the weekend, she said she couldn’t cause she was doing family stuff, then I hear from other friend that they were all going out somewhere and not only was this about a few days after I asked her, but none of them invited my until about 10pm the night before. This next part is me hating my self. In short, I’m fat. I know I am and I’m trying to lose weight, but I wake up one morning with so much confidence, but then a week later I’m back to where I started. I’m trying to go on a low carb diet, so that I can burn more fat because I’m not interested in building a lot of muscle, but 1. My dad is feeding me a lot of carbs and when I told him I wanted to diet he just told me I don’t know what I’m talking about 2. The people around me aren’t supportive at all, whenever I get back from what ever workout I was doing, I might tell them what I did, they just say they don’t care and what ever I did was nothing compared to what they can do. for the most part, the only 2 reasons I want to keep going is so that no one can call me fat again, and so that I’m not ashamed of who I am and I can finally be looked at as an equal rather than dirt. I’m sorry if what I’ve said is just “teen issues” I just have no one to ask for help and I wanted to know if anyone has gone through something similar and knows how to cope.

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating

replies: 7

Hi! Me and my friend recently finished Year 12. He behaviour has been concerning to me for a while now. For example, he refused to look at his scores on tests and assignments (even practice tests), even if his scores were actually pretty good. He would often say phrases like "I hate myself" as well, and used to talk about suicide a lot. He assured me he would never actually kill himself saying he is "too much of a b**** to actually kill himself", however this just makes me even more concerned for his mental state! I tried encouraging him to seek professional help, but he always refused, citing that he believed it wouldn't help him. I'm not sure exactly how aware his parents are of his mental state, but I know they are at least somewhat aware as they bought him a dog a while back specifically to help him in that regard (which worked for a while, but not permanently). I talked with him a fair bit previously, but never took further action because I thought he was just stressed with the pressure of Yr12 exams, but now school has ended, it has started getting worse. He really liked a girl so our group encouraged him to ask her on a date. He eventually did and she agreed, but was busy on the weekend he asked, and now him and her can't meet up this week or next week, so he took that to mean she just said yes to be polite but doesn't really like him, saying things like "I've given up" and threatening to block her. Regardless, I think he believes no-one likes him even though he is actually intelligent, very physically apt, and good looking. We play games together and often he brings up the subject of how sad his life is, and how he has "given up" (with regards to the girl). I just want to help him but sometimes I feel I am saying the wrong things or other times I feel guilty for not helping him more. Sorry for the long post!

Stress due to ATAR

replies: 4

Hi everyone this is my first time talking. There is 2 days left till I get my ATAR and I feel really overwhelmed. I tired talking to my parents but they don’t really pay that much attention to things like that and I am really worried for my result and I don’t know who to talk to anymore. All my other friends are smart and will easily achieve a good score but I am scared of being compared against them and disappointing my parents how do I deal with this.

ongoing career dilemma

replies: 2

Hi beyondblue community, 2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status means that I can still study my degree. However, if I fail 50% or more of my course load, I will get terminated from my OT degree. My main problem was not practicising enough for a must pass exam. During the holidays, I have been making the pros and cons for my OT degree. It is a AQF 8 qualification. I was told by the accessibility officer that OT is a hard degree and that I might want to consider another course. She was concerned about my ongoing/complex trauma. The thing is I would like to be in the helping profession. However, I also feel like I'm just not 'ready' for OT too. Mainly because the psychologist told me how abusive my household really is when all this time I've been denying it as a coping mechanism. I feel like I don't suit the image of a health professional. My life is not perfect. I feel like going to university has exacerbated my trauma. I get really worried that I'm not in the right course and that I'm making things more difficult for myself w my trauma past. I feel like OT is unrealistic for me. I have considered other courses like nursing, social work etc. However, I will need to get back on good standing to switch. It seems like I have thought this through. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

Loneliness/Having No Friends/Not Fitting In

replies: 3

Hello everyone, I recently changed schools and pretty much everyone in my class are a huge friendship group that constantly go out together and ignore me/leave me out of everything and it's really made me question my worth/capabilities of making friends. At the beginning of the year people were throwing parties with older teens, drinking and that really scared me because I didn't know anyone well enough, and then basically I got left out forever for not going to the party, I am completely disconnected. The lockdown made it so much worse because I cannot keep in contact online with them because "I'm not close with them" and they have seperate group chats. It feels terrible because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me (or I question my worth/talent/capabilities) for being left out all the time because I'm supposed to identify with my class/people my age and that class is basically sorta my whole world/life right now, and yet I'm not apart of it. I'm confident and friendly basically anywhere outside of school, I am not shy and do public-speaking related things constantly, whilst when I go to school or see the student's social medias, I feel completely subdued and unwell all the time. I've spoken to my teachers many times but it's still the same, and I am just so exhausted of feeling sad/unworthy everyday at school. They are such a big group of friends, they see (or don't even care to see) that I'm struggling that I'm left out and I make the effort to connect myself with them, but NO ONE cares. Apparently I don't talk too much/brag & appear scary because I'm scared to open up to others because I'm afraid I'll get criticised/judged or laughed at, and most worse, ignored. I'm serious all the time and when I'm not, I'm "too happy" and people seem to see me as quirky/weird, everyone talks over me or doesn't bother to listen to what I have to say or let me in on a joke when talking. I really do feel like a loser because everyone has made plans/parties/sleepovers basically throughout the entire holidays and puts it on media everyday, whilst I have kinda no friends after moving schools.. My career depends on the relationships I make with people, and this is making me doubt myself very badly; everyone seems to have known each other previously, whilst I haven't. However, I am hopeful that I will meet new people I can be honest with and not force myself to do things I'm not comfortable with in order to fit in. Please let me know your thoughts/stories

I shouldn’t feel bad but I do

replies: 2

Hey guys, my names Xander. I didn’t really know what to do so figured I’d just post and see what happens. I’m 14 and live an amazing life in Victoria, a live in an amazing house and go to a prestigious private school. But I find I’m sad all the time, I just find myself crying. And I shouldn’t. I have a great life where my biggest issue is who kissed who at a party. I have been diagnosed whit anxiety but it doesn’t feel like that, at least a couple times a day I feel sad and just want to go back to sleep and do nothing. It sucks and I hate it. That’s all I really have to say. I don’t expect anyone to respond to this but whatever. At least I could rant

Fitting In

replies: 6

Hi all, Something that has been on my mind during my teenage years and early adulthood is the notion that I do not 'fit in'. I like who I am but I am so afraid that other people will not like me that I don't show my true self and struggle to open up. I feel like I am living a completely different life than what I should be living right now, like everybody else has been given a memo on how to live their early 20s but I never received it. I don't like to drink or party, I am not constantly hanging out or talking to my friends nor do I sleep around and I still live at home; however these all seem like such important things to people my age. With New Years Eve on the horizon, I keep telling myself I am a loser for not having a big group of friends to go out partying with and drinking. Whereas in reality, I'd much rather stay home with my family and watch the fireworks on TV but I am telling myself people will judge me poorly for not going out. It's funny because I don't necessarily know who these people are, however I often feel there is a collective group of people my age judging me for not being anything like them yet I don't know who they are. The few friends I have accept me for who I am, but as a whole I feel like I don't fit in with my peers. I am wondering if anybody else feels like they do not fit in and hoping somebody else will share their story. Thanks

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

I have plenty of friends, but I feel so lonely. replies: 1

Why I never date! replies: 4

Year 12 and toxic friends replies: 7

I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do replies: 7

My friend is depressed, defeatist and self-defeating replies: 7

Stress due to ATAR replies: 4

ongoing career dilemma replies: 2

Loneliness/Having No Friends/Not Fitting In replies: 3

I shouldn’t feel bad but I do replies: 2

Fitting In replies: 6