Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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AliC_ Never ending cycle
  • replies: 18

Ok bit of backstory. 6 months ago my boyfriend of s year and a half broke up with me. The full reasons why elude me but I know I messed up somewhere and hurt him and his family. Prior to this he was my best friend and drying our period of dating his ... View more

Ok bit of backstory. 6 months ago my boyfriend of s year and a half broke up with me. The full reasons why elude me but I know I messed up somewhere and hurt him and his family. Prior to this he was my best friend and drying our period of dating his family became my family - I didn’t have a good relationship with mine at the time. And now 6 months on I still feel so awful about it and him. I want to reach out to his family and tell them I’m sorry. I want them in my life again but I can’t do that and I know it’s not healthy especially because my ex and I aren’t as close as we were My dad and my stepmum are also divorcing so that makes me feel super alone as well and my mum lives in a different city and I was really close to her but due to covid and me moving for University I haven’t gotten to see her a lot. i feel like I’m stuck in this constant rut of being alone and not having anyone. My friends are sick of hearings bout my heartbreak. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it and my counsellor has been fantastic but I don’t feel like I’m getting better. my anxiety and depression has always been in a massive cycle and this is the time that I would feel low and to add to that it’s my ex and Is anniversary next week which makes me feel way worse. i also constantly have troubles in my relationships and always seem to ruin them or make something go wrong and am looking at an ADHD diagnosis at 21 yo. However that’s also hard to admit as it could be a number of things such as BPD as well. I’m really just sick of feeling constantly hopeless and alone.

GreenGuy Overcoming envy, perfectionism and low self-esteem
  • replies: 3

Hello, I need some extra wisdom on how to be content with myself. I've talked to my councilor on this issue a few times, read articles (including the inner critic article on this site), watched videos from all sorts of perspectives, but I lack the di... View more

Hello, I need some extra wisdom on how to be content with myself. I've talked to my councilor on this issue a few times, read articles (including the inner critic article on this site), watched videos from all sorts of perspectives, but I lack the discipline to change my thinking. All I know is envy is a primal and toxic emotion that I'd like to suppress, since feeding into it leaves me feeling moody, inadequate and despondent. I already know the two big hints: stop comparing yourself, and, be grateful for what you have. My biggest mistake is often comparing myself to others. I've always had a competitive mindset, usually among my peers. As an example: When I was in school, there was this kid who everyone thought was some amazing rock star (he is don't get me wrong), and being a guitarist myself, my immediate response was, "oh yeah? I can do better!" At that moment I was driven to put on the best gig that school had ever seen, nothing mattered to me, not even my grades, I just wanted my time to shine, which I had, and it remains a highlight of my life. Yet, I struggle to remain content. I'm always vying for something, and if I don't have it, then my negative instincts start kicking in with it's usual drivel. "You're wasting your life away, no one is going to recognize your talent, everyone thinks you're a tool, why aren't you like this person? You're rubbish! bad-bad-bad!" Or sometimes it's a nasty motivator like, "Look at this person, they don't deserve that success, that should belong to ME!" I've grown a serious envy towards one artist in particular, and often have fantasies of surpassing them in fame and being the voice of my generation, always afraid that their recognition will forever outshine me, think like the movie Amadeus with Salieri's jealousy towards Mozart. A bit narcissistic I know. I hate thinking like this. I want to feel joy again, to take pleasure in my hobbies and not compete, no more thinking about what everyone else is doing, and how much they love this other person. I need to stop seeking the validation of a million strangers to compensate for how poorly I think of myself, because despite all the praise I receive, I'm still not happy, I get greedy for more attention! I just want to be content with myself, no more questing for perfection, fame and fortune, which is out of my league anyway, and honestly, materialistic junk won't fill the void. I just want peace of mind. Sorry for rambling.

Comrade34 I Hate Being Myself and Want to Get Better.
  • replies: 5

I've hated every second of being myself for about 10 years now and it's really starting to snowball and affect me in several different ways in my day to day life. But I feel too guilty to seek help since many others have it far worse than I do. It ju... View more

I've hated every second of being myself for about 10 years now and it's really starting to snowball and affect me in several different ways in my day to day life. But I feel too guilty to seek help since many others have it far worse than I do. It just feels like all the stress, anxiety, depressed thoughts and my self-hatred has been bottling up for years now and I don’t know how much longer I can keep these thoughts repressed, I’m also too scared to speak to my friends and family about my mental health issues. I don’t want to weird them out since when I am usually around people, I put on a façade of someone who is a happy-go lucky, sometimes smartass, who is in general an optimistic person. The few times I have cracked this façade around other people such as my dad the support from them has been less than optimal and its clear that they want me to go back to the way I ‘normally’ am. I’m not sure what to do anymore I feel like no one cares about me and no one will ever love me I just want to feel happy or not feel at all anymore. I used to think that I can still be useful to people which has kind of stopped me from taking any extreme actions against myself but lately that feeling is being eroded away. Sorry for the rant but any advice you can give me regarding how I’m feeling will be greatly appreciated.

abit_lost_rn Dealing with deep thoughts and overthinking
  • replies: 4

Hi. Just come here to talk about it, see others' viewpoints. My name is sam, and I am on here to talk about my anxiety. Basically, since I was young I have struggled with overthinking and my deep passion. It's like there's a deep desire that can neve... View more

Hi. Just come here to talk about it, see others' viewpoints. My name is sam, and I am on here to talk about my anxiety. Basically, since I was young I have struggled with overthinking and my deep passion. It's like there's a deep desire that can never be filled. Feels like I'm lifting a boulder over my head at times, my mind turns on me a lot, but I never show it and I often feel like its hard to show but easy to feel. I had an alright childhood, but my parents used to fight a lot and my dad was very inconsistent in the way he behaved, with him often threatening my mum and being overly focused on his own spirituality. Adversity has followed me everywhere as well. I come from a religious family and I feel like It messed me up a bit, because most people arent spiritual. My mum has it hard, as she's single, works full time, and looks after all my various siblings. I don't know how to find a sense of peace in myself and I feel like people don't understand me. The first abit of my life i was fine, until i got close to the first partner I had, and I realized how overly emotional I was. So far its been a solo ride, and I have figured out the issues with-in. I feel a deep sense of confusion with god, why am I so afraid of love when im so good at giving and being selfless.

759302027 I think I actually am doing it for attention
  • replies: 4

Hi, I don't know what's wrong with me or if anything's wrong at all but I think I'm doing it for attention. I know everyone says that but I genuinely think I am. Some days I feel absolutely fine but then some days I'm horribly anxious for no reason a... View more

Hi, I don't know what's wrong with me or if anything's wrong at all but I think I'm doing it for attention. I know everyone says that but I genuinely think I am. Some days I feel absolutely fine but then some days I'm horribly anxious for no reason at all and some days I feel just empty inside and feel like I'm just distracting myself with everyday activities. But I also don't know if I'm actually feeling these things or just making them up for a diagnosis because i think it'll make me feel special. I am currently in therapy for anxious thoughts but I can't really seem to tell them anything aside from surface level stuff. The thing that concerns me is that whenever I hear/read about a mental disorder I try and match myself to it and imagine myself getting diagnosed with it. Also whenever I hear about someone doing something due to their mental illness, i automatically think "maybe I can do that then I'll get diagnosed" but then I get really sad and scared that I thought that. Because I think these things any time I am actually feeling sad or anxious or numb or whatever, I tell myself that I'm just doing it for attention and because I want a diagnosis. I have actually had anxiety attacks but I don't know if I actually had them or if I was doing it on purpose. I don't tell anyone any of this but I imagine myself having conversations where I do. I know theres a condition where people believe they have certain mental disorders but this isn't like that. I don't believe I have them I seem to want to have them for attention?? Maybe I'm just an attention seeker i dunno. I'm just really tired and i wanna know if there's something wrong or if i'm making it up. I also feel as if I can't tell my therapist any of this as that would confirm I'm just doing it for attention and trying to get a diagnosis from them.

CoOpEr123 Curvy and feeling terrible
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I’m a 21 year old Asian girl I’ve never been self conscious about my body even with the side comments and backhanded compliments from my Asian family all these years growing up. I have a very carefree personality so I drop it all, but recen... View more

Hi there, I’m a 21 year old Asian girl I’ve never been self conscious about my body even with the side comments and backhanded compliments from my Asian family all these years growing up. I have a very carefree personality so I drop it all, but recently I have gained weight in the pandemic. I used to be trimmer (never was skinny) but now I have a gut and flabby arms and I can’t seem to get it back to flat no matter how consistently I go to the gym. Admittedly, I do not have a strict training regime nor a strict diet but I have absolutely been watching what I eat. I look at myself every day in the mirror and think that no other 21 year old girl looks like this, especially no other Asian girl. Everything seems to sag and ooze and I just hate my body some days. I get upset with myself because I’m beginning to scrutinise other Asian women and feeling frustrated that they can wear shorts and skirts and baggy things and still look lovely. I don’t like the jealousy and defensiveness I’m now using to observe people. I would love to find a partner and a meaningful relationship but I keep thinking men will be put off when they see me in person. My previous partners have loved my body but it doesn’t stop these thoughts from consuming me. I keep telling myself men will only like slim women and that I just look disgusting in all my photos. My mother means well but sometimes I’ll show her who I’m chatting to, and she’ll say ‘oh he’s handsome, good that you have a month or so to lose a couple more kilos for your date’ and it just crushes me. My friends love me and genuinely think I look great, but I’m so conscious about being the one that sticks out because I’m bigger. I just know I’m bigger and I can’t find the confidence to be no matter how hard I try. Please will you tell me your personal stories if you can relate, and how I can overcome this?? How do I stop obsessing over this? I used to love my body but now I feel revolting and ugly, even though I am picking up healthier habits and physically feeling well. This is not how I thought my 20s would play out

KFPDW My confusing Feelings on Dating and Relationships
  • replies: 16

(The Forum has helped with my stressed out feelings before so I thought I would make the use of it with another thing that has been on my mind) I’m 25 now and I haven’t been in a relationship before. After my parents divorced, I have been apprehensiv... View more

(The Forum has helped with my stressed out feelings before so I thought I would make the use of it with another thing that has been on my mind) I’m 25 now and I haven’t been in a relationship before. After my parents divorced, I have been apprehensive about getting into any kind of relationship. My Mental Health is currently all over the place which I’m currently trying to fix. And I know I’m not in a hurry to get married or anything like that. I want to be able to be happy with myself and have my mental health all up to scratch. But why do I feel like I want to be with someone (a girl in my case) and have that close relationship? To be with someone who is like your best friend and so much more than that? To know what it’s like to kiss someone I really like? Why do these feelings keep coming up? I feel like any new person I meet that is a girl, a small part of me hopes a relationship could happen with this person I met. Like my mind is jumping ahead. I feel ridiculous!! I know being in a relationship doesn’t automatically solve any issue I have in my life. I also know it can come crashing down with divorce like my parents and so many other people. I feel like I’m so confused and I don’t know what I want. I would like to meet someone and develop a close relationship with them. But I also don’t want to rush into anything any time soon. I want to play it safe. I also feel like I’m not interesting enough and I don’t fit into the handsome guys and good lookers category. I had a few false starts where I thought I really like someone but it either didn’t feel right after a while or I got too picky or my mind couldn’t help looking ahead too far when I didn’t want to. There was one girl I liked who just my best friend now and I get along well with her Boyfriend really well too. We like a lot of the same things and I tried to ask her out but she didn’t feel the same way. It was crushing but I tried to not let it on that it hurt. We’re cool now and I’m happy we’re friends but it wasn’t easy getting over her at the time. And there hasn’t been anyone since then I have meet where I felt a strong connection with. So yeah, that sums up what I’m feeling in terms of dating as a whole. I felt like I just needed to get my feelings on the matter out in the open. I don’t know where I stand and why do I keep feeling like I want to be with someone when there’s no one there? Or at the very least, want to be in a close relationship?

Itsme5 Year 12 is killing me
  • replies: 5

Hi guys, it's been a while since I added a thread but I really need some help. I'm a year 12 student so I've got the HSC coming up and it is insane. I can't do any work because it's so overwhelming that I don't know where to start, but then I hate my... View more

Hi guys, it's been a while since I added a thread but I really need some help. I'm a year 12 student so I've got the HSC coming up and it is insane. I can't do any work because it's so overwhelming that I don't know where to start, but then I hate myself for not doing any work and my work accumulates which makes me more overwhelmed. To add to this, we are coming out of lockdown so everybody is socialising and having fun which reminds me of how alone I am because I don't get invited. Similarly, lots of people are discussing getting invited to formals and buying dresses which is another thing I can't relate to, making me feel even more isolated. It may be less than a month until the HSC but this is the most writing I have done in a long time. I haven't been eating at all (I don't have an eating disorder but I just forget and can't be bothered to get anything) and I haven't been getting to sleep until very late, then waking up around now (12pm). I know school is almost over and I should be able to get past these couple of months but it isn't shaping up too well for me. Not to mention the fact that I want to be a doctor which requires an insanely high ATAR and is super competitive. I've been told by lots of people that if I can't handle year 12 then there's no way I will survive med school which is another worry for me because that's all I really want to do. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed, stressed and depressed. If anybody has any tips or motivation please let me know. Also, feel free to add your experiences of final exams to get some help too and make each other feel less alone. Thanks for listening!

Guest1020 Considering making a complaint about a mental health service I last attended
  • replies: 4

Last time I visited my psychiatrist was two weeks ago. I have contacted several times to report how unsafe I feel and how my mental health is gradually declining. Each time I call, they pick up, sigh and hang up. Repeat this process six or seven time... View more

Last time I visited my psychiatrist was two weeks ago. I have contacted several times to report how unsafe I feel and how my mental health is gradually declining. Each time I call, they pick up, sigh and hang up. Repeat this process six or seven times in two weeks. I have sent out an email detailing my frustrations with my receptionists to call me. Anyways, the psychiatrist I went to was great and the receptionist were great. But the communication with receptionist has dissolved. I want to make a formal complaint against the clinic to the department of health but because I have an appointment on December, I am worried that the psychiatrist or receptionist has spread around the clinic that I am a drug seeker. When seeking ADHD treatment, if word gets out you are a drug seeker, all treatment is suspended. I am worried about unfair biases and retaliation if I do report the clinic. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and treatment has not even begun yet. Horrific, the whole mental health system in Australia is embarassing. I have notified a health consumer helpline about my situation, and they say they have been swamped and won't look at my case until mid next year. It's ridiculous.

Ben_L Anyone else here understand what life is like with autism?
  • replies: 14

Hi, Ill keep it short, im autistic im having trouble with some parts in my life Is anyone else here autistic and understands what im going through Socially, sorry

Hi, Ill keep it short, im autistic im having trouble with some parts in my life Is anyone else here autistic and understands what im going through Socially, sorry