Young people

genetic predisposition + childhood trauma makes for the 'perfect' storm!

replies: 5

I've been struggling with anxiety & other mental health issues for as long as I can remember, genetic predisposition + childhood trauma makes for the 'perfect' storm! It destroyed my entire school career, I had pretty good grades but my attendance wa... View more

I've been struggling with anxiety & other mental health issues for as long as I can remember, genetic predisposition + childhood trauma makes for the 'perfect' storm! It destroyed my entire school career, I had pretty good grades but my attendance was garbage & I ended up being expelled in year 11 & for the past 3 years I've been doing pretty much nothing. I do have goals and things I wish I could be doing but my mental health always gets in the way! I can't make or answer phone calls (even talking to strangers via email makes me sweat), I can't go to certain places, the past two job trials I've had have ended in panic attacks (all of the classic symptoms with the added 'bonus' of what I can only describe as hallucinations) & this combined with depression, an eating disorder & typical family drama make for quite a trying time. I've been in and out of 'treatment' for 5 years however anxiety has prevented me from consistently attending appointments and to be quite honest the place where I was going made me feel like a science experiment (& also violated my confidentially when I was never in any danger but that's a whole other story!). More recently I went to my GP and asked for a referral to somewhere that wasn't where I was previously going but she said she didn't know any other bulk billing practices and I was told to "just google it!". Well 3 months later and I still haven't gotten anywhere, no where bulk bills & I simply cant afford to pay for sessions even with the rebate (I'm on centerlink youth allowance I get $250 a fortnight & usually only have about $80-$100 left after essential expenses). I'm kinda at my wits end here, I don't know what to do? I want to be better but it seems even in this country you have to pay to get proper treatment

My life has been bad lately

replies: 19

I was just at school,I didn’t think that I was going to last the day

Boyfriend's mental health

replies: 3

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now, there have been some bumps in our relationship here and there but getting to the point, we love each other very much. I want to help him as much as i can, so that's why i'm here.... View more

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now, there have been some bumps in our relationship here and there but getting to the point, we love each other very much. I want to help him as much as i can, so that's why i'm here. My boyfriend's self esteem can be quite low at times and he gets very worked up over little mistakes he makes. I believe it might have to do with how he was raised, being expected to be the best all the time, his parents saying he was born to 'be a friend for as brother' (at least thats how he takes it), but speculating aside, i want to know how i can help. For an example of how things can sometimes go down, today at school it was raining and while our friends were buying lunch the teacher made us go inside. A while after our friends find us and ask why we left/didnt tell them were we were going and were reasonably a bit upset. After a bit of back of back and forth it settles down, our friends with less than happy expressions. Then i hear my boyfriend mumbling angrily towards himself, and then he slams the table and gets up with an expression i would describe as 'distress'. I try to pull him back down, or atleast hold him in place, but when he's like this it feels like you can't really do anything until the storm is over. Our friends are telling him its okay but hes still, saying its not and blaming it all on himself. There's more to the story but thats basically how it usually goes down, then it ends with him crying a little or a lot, depends. Sometimes he'll throw things he owns (not at anyone) or even smack/hit himself. I really want to know how i can be there for him and support him during these moments, or even prevent them from happening if i can.

I have no friends

replies: 2

Hi, This is my first time posting on Beyond blue and I just need some advice. I'm 15 and have no friends, well technically I do, but they barely talk to me, they don't even talk to me, they don't even make eye contact with me. I basically just sit wi... View more

Hi, This is my first time posting on Beyond blue and I just need some advice. I'm 15 and have no friends, well technically I do, but they barely talk to me, they don't even talk to me, they don't even make eye contact with me. I basically just sit with them, and I know for a fact that they despise me. I don't really relate or connect with anyone else in my grade and I have issues with talking to people. I think I might have social anxiety and/or depression. I've had an eating disorder since I was 12, but I think I'm too fat to have an eating disorder. I've recently stopped talking to that group of friends I sit with after realizing that the friendship wasn't going to go anywhere good. I have no one else to sit with so I just hid in the toilet stores.

I’m losing one of my closest friends...

replies: 1

I have this friend and recently she hadn’t beeen very close to me. I recently found out she has depression and what really confused me is that she told her other two friends and one of them and me doent really get well together. That friend is bringi... View more

I have this friend and recently she hadn’t beeen very close to me. I recently found out she has depression and what really confused me is that she told her other two friends and one of them and me doent really get well together. That friend is bringing them into all our personal friendship problems that we can solve by ourselves and we don’t wanna hurt her. We want to let her know that we are trust worthy too. Because we have been friends for 4 years now. And one of her friends asked me this morning if I didn’t want my friend to be friends with both of them. I don’t wanna lose her, she’s a good friend.

Struggling to find jobs, need to start work immediately

replies: 1

Hi, I've applied 15-20 plus jobs over the past 2-3 days but most of them are rejected, what should I do?

Struggling with feelings of emptiness and apathy.

replies: 4

Alright this will be the first time I am admitting any of this to anyone; I'll try to keep it short and succinct. Quick note, I am 21 years old and am currently into the third year of my Uni degree. For the longest time I have always prided myself on... View more

Alright this will be the first time I am admitting any of this to anyone; I'll try to keep it short and succinct. Quick note, I am 21 years old and am currently into the third year of my Uni degree. For the longest time I have always prided myself on being able to keep my emotions in check. Throughout my school life, I never let myself get stressed or upset and was able to suppress those upsetting feelings and push through the intense pressure put on me to do well in school. However, I think this coping mechanism backfired on me. As of late, I have been dealing with feelings of emotional emptiness. Since my parents messy divorce early last year, I have noticed that I constantly shut down emotionally. My mum cried constantly for the first 6 months after the separation, and I know it sounds horrible but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when she cried and vented her frustrations out to me. I almost resented her for it, getting irritated whenever she got upset or mentioned my dad in anyway. Now that I think of it, I have a tendency to avoid any situation where others are upset, or even situations that I think may make me upset. Currently, I just feel empty all the time, like my ability to regulate my emotions has become so profound that I hardly feel them at all. I now have no motivation to hang out in social situations with friends, and even when I do, the happiness and excitement I know I should be feeling are dulled. I think numb is the most accurate word for it. Like I constantly have a barrier up. And the only feelings that really do break through is anger. While I can usually hold back my frustration and irritation in public and with friends, I tend to lash out at home. I've been told by my mum and brother that they think I have 'anger management problems' on numerous occasions. I just don't know what I'm experiencing or whether it is normal. I don't feel sad, depressed, or empathy, and I don't feel anxiety, or when I do, it is dull and I can ignore it fairly easily. I think one of the worst parts of it all is that I'm so good at pretending be happy, or care, or even be upset, that no body can even tell that I'm doing it. Does anyone else experience this? I don't know what I should do about it or if there is even a real problem. If anyone can give me any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

Just a vent

replies: 5

In my life I don’t really have anybody to confide in or express my feelings to, so I’m just going to use this as an outlet to get everything that has happened over the past year off my chest. I had to move schools due to having had created a large am... View more

In my life I don’t really have anybody to confide in or express my feelings to, so I’m just going to use this as an outlet to get everything that has happened over the past year off my chest. I had to move schools due to having had created a large amount of drama surrounding myself, I had an eating disorder and my obsession with self image and being what I considered good enough for the people around me became crippling to my mental health and began to impact my friends and family. As a result of this, many people at the school heavily disliked me. Over school break, I was able to try and come to terms with my disorder and slowly became more comfortable with myself through talking to friends and family. I still struggled with the loss of all of my valued friends that I had at school as a result of what I did to myself, and the reputation I had made. The following year, I moved to a new school. I knew a girl there and was friends with her already so I was able to acclimate okay into the new environment. But slowly I began to realise that people seemed to enjoy making fun of me more than they did really hanging around me. When I came to the table they would leave. And when I left they would gossip about me and laugh and point. Eventually I was able to succumb to the societal pressures and just watered my personality down so they wouldn’t hate me for being myself. I stopped expressing myself, and talking loudly and doing everything that they hated me for. Things were okay but throughout all of this my anxiety had been peaking. I began self harming everywhere I could and I felt out of control and lost touch of reality. School became increasingly harder and I began binge eating as a result of the stress. Towards the end of the year, I stopped going to school. I refused to get out of bed and when confronted by my parents I wouldn’t fight back, I would just cry. I stopped going for weeks on end, I would just stay alone in my room and cry. It was a low point for me. As a result, a repeat of what happened at my last school began to happen again. My friends did not understand why I wasn’t at school, they thought I was being ignorant and mean. My closest friend, began to hate me for seemingly no reason. She never told me why. She has started spreading rumours about me, making everyone who I had tried so hard to make like me hate me once again. I have been so sad lately. I have left school for the past 3 months and not gone back. I’m now moving towns.

Broken hope

replies: 1

Hi everyone! I think my hope when it comes to LOVE is definitely broken. I thought I was able to find hope in someone who I ever wanted. He's a guy I met online and dated for 3months. It's brief but it made me really happy. We spent several times tog... View more

Hi everyone! I think my hope when it comes to LOVE is definitely broken. I thought I was able to find hope in someone who I ever wanted. He's a guy I met online and dated for 3months. It's brief but it made me really happy. We spent several times together, if we're not together communication through text and call is done everyday. He say sweet things, complements my insecurities, keeps me warm, holds my hands when we walk and all sort of things that couples would do. The way I know him is that he's a good communicator, honest, kind, reassures me every now and then, complements everyone and helps out others. Just enough for now. I'm enjoying the moment with him. However, one day he just broke it off with me. I don't know what happened or what I did or whatever reason that he said he can not like me more than enough for him to commit to me. I was shocked, overwhelmed, full of emotions mixed in a jar that I can not explain. I'm crippled physically, emotionally and mentally but trying my best to function at work and daily living. The last time I talked to him he said he maybe a dismissive attachment style. I've read about it but I find it weird coz he would be able to talk about his childhood, exes, friends and family. He shares his views and thoughts on different matters. I don't know if I should believe him. For me it seems like he's finding an excuse. I lost my confidence in him and even myself. I'm not sure what I want to do or I want to hear. This makes me so weak and half functioning.

feeling helpless, lost and stressed

replies: 1

Hi all, This is my first time posting on here but this year was my last year of high school. I did VCE so the stress of getting a good ATAR and getting into my dream uni was already a lot to deal with. Around the time year 12 students start applying ... View more

Hi all, This is my first time posting on here but this year was my last year of high school. I did VCE so the stress of getting a good ATAR and getting into my dream uni was already a lot to deal with. Around the time year 12 students start applying for universities, I got informed that my visa is being processed. Upon learning about this, I learnt that I was considered an International student because I don't have an Australian residency or citizenship and because I was born in America. All of this made me more stressed because international student university tuition fees are so expensive and because I was on a bridging visa that didn't allow me work rights, I felt so unmotivated and was in a lot of distress. So I applied at a university in America since I'm a citizen there and I also have family there so I could stay with them if I was gonna study there. I was pretty happy about it because my aunty in America told me that if I applied for financial aid, the tuition fees will be almost free so I had the burden of paying for uni fees off of my shoulders. I recently found out that in America they start university at the end of 2019 and I've always wanted to start uni straight away. I can't apply for any uni or even tafe here because of the expensive fees. The American university also told me I have to do the SATs or the ACT which is like their university entrance exam. I got this news after I just finished my end of year exams that I've been preparing for all year and I had to do another one!. The only thing I can do for now is do the SAT or ACT and find employment until the end of next year. I have never been this stressed out before, I've been getting constant headaches and neglecting my health. I don't know what to do. I'm 18 with no work experience as I just got work rights this year. I feel so unhappy. I really didn't expect things to turn out this way. I feel so alone because no one really understands how this is affecting me. I have no control over this and I feel so helpless. I already feel like I'm behind in life, I don't have my learners, no work experience and starting university late. While my friends receive their ATAR and get accepted into a university course, I will be working a part time job, sitting an exam for a uni that I don't even know if I'll get into and thats across the world and studying for my Ls. I really feel lost and helpless right now and I've never been this stressed in my life.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions