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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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_char_ Lost?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm 17, in year 12 and I'm feeling very lost. I feel like it's hard for me to be happy on a day-to-day basis. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and ever since last year I spent half the time with my mum and the other half of the week with my d... View more

Hi, I'm 17, in year 12 and I'm feeling very lost. I feel like it's hard for me to be happy on a day-to-day basis. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and ever since last year I spent half the time with my mum and the other half of the week with my dad. My dad has remarried - my stepmother had two kids from a previous marriage - and now I have two half sisters as well. Now I spend the whole week at my mums and go to my dads Friday night and return to my mum's Saturday afternoons. In the past I have had issues with my stepmother, though currently we are on good terms. My 'real' mum and I, while I love her, we have our difficulties. She has been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety and depression but has them under control. I feel she sometimes has unrealistic expectations and whilst she is able to talk about mental health, I feel when I talk to her she doesn't understand me. A lot of times I feel a disconnect and when we do communicate, our brains are just on two different paths. We argue often and overall at home I feel like I am a trapped bird. Then there's school. Whilst I have a relatively good situation at school, I feel I lack motivation and get annoyed by competitive peers. I know that school is an important thing for me. I want to do well and know it will benefit my future... though knowing this does not help me find a purpose. My friends aren't the type to hang out often and though we hang out morning tea and lunch, I feel somehow there is a disconnect (no this is not me being anti-social, though it may be a cause). I feel I overall lack purpose, not having a fantastic social life, 'normal' family or current hobbies. When I get depressive thoughts, a lot of the time, I can manage them effectively myself. However things are starting to crumble and my ability to block these out are becoming diminished. Honestly, it's a lot to do with purpose and not seeing any point in doing anything anymore. Re-reading this, all this information may seem irrelevant, however I feel somehow it relates to my current state of mind. Hope someone can relate

Emma-C My boyfriend broke up with me because he stopped loving me last week. Is it depression or something else?
  • replies: 1

Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we’re best friends for 2 years before that. We moved in together with some housemates 3 months ago and I have thought that we were the best we’ve ever been. I recently got diagnosed with Chronic... View more

Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we’re best friends for 2 years before that. We moved in together with some housemates 3 months ago and I have thought that we were the best we’ve ever been. I recently got diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and have been working a lot of late nights only getting more exhausted. I recently asked him for the help and am worried that it has scared him off. The break up is confusing me completely. He has said that last week he just stopped loving me and never had. However, 3 weeks ago he was talking about buying a house together, kids, and how great we were together. I don’t understand how within 1 week he could just stop; he is adamant that he only stopped then. There has been no signs of our relationship struggling and even everyone living around us is completely shocked as it has come out of the blue. He has kicked me out of the house at the moment so I don’t have anywhere to live, making it hard to work and also detrimental to my chronic fatigue. He has really hurt me as I have lost everything (my home, work access, and my personal love). I do believe that he does still love me and is hiding something. He has also been going through a lot. His work schedule has been exhausting, along with his heavy uni load as well. He also is still getting over a major sports injury and cannot play football or basketball this year. I am worried that he is depressed and not wanting to admit it and instead pushing me away. I want to help because I love him more than anything and see him all the way in my future. But I also need to be conscious of my own health right now, and don’t want to be too pushy and cause a toxic relationship between us. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts on this situation?

SweetAngel please help me Making a decision with relationship issue
  • replies: 4

Two years ago, I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn’t love him. He always said “I love you” but it wasn’t reciprocated. it hurt him. I didn’t want to lead him on. He initiated contact after. we remained friends. got together few months later. ... View more

Two years ago, I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn’t love him. He always said “I love you” but it wasn’t reciprocated. it hurt him. I didn’t want to lead him on. He initiated contact after. we remained friends. got together few months later. Reason: felt guilty. During friendship, he said, “I’m always here for you. I still love you deeply. I’m waiting for us to be together again”. It hit hard. maybe I hadn’t given myself enough time to fall in love with him, maybe I rushed break. 3 people have said during our ‘2nd relationship,’ that they think he and another girl were dating because they always jokingly flirt. I understand we broken up and he thought we would never get together but I was confused & hurt hearing that, as it goes against him saying, “I hope we can be together again”. You would not flirt with someone else if your heart was set with one girl. I confronted him. he said flirting was a joke. He didn’t feel anything for her, it meant nothing. I took it. It didn’t change how hurt I felt, but there wasn’t anything else for him to say. I know I overreacted because we weren’t together, he can do whatever, jokingly flirt or not. But my heart hurt. Why did ppl think they dating? There was nothing physical between them. i was confused about the idea of him saying he still loved me through the time of our friendship but on the side, jokingly flirting with another. I raise this issue, we argue. Its led us to where we are now.not together again. I don’t trust him. I tell him this, and this hurt him. he bursts into tears. More specifically, not trust him to do things behind my back. He might say he loves me, but could he still be jokingly flirting with someone else? Although we “friends”, he doesn’t act like it with me. He always comes for a close front on hug. He holds me for about a minute- too long for friends. he always gives me a kiss-cheek, forehead or lips. And after fights, we have make-up sex, or just sex once a week . It’s bad. I have been told, “you two haven’t set the boundaries”. I still feel very hurt he flirted with a girl two years ago, despite, I know, being broken up at the time. mainly because he said he loved me deeply through out it all. And also very hurt because three people have thought they were dating. Coming to now, I’m just confused about this. I don’t want to lose him because he’s always been there for me . Should I cut ties because I can’t trust him or continue this ‘friendship’ with him, although having fights.

zoeoe I did a science test today, just now realised I forgot to title my graph, and as a result I want to cry and hide away in a hole
  • replies: 4

I put a title in all of my study notes, reminded myself multiple times to title my graph. I just now realised, multiple hours later, that I did, in-fact, NOT title my graph. I feel so stupid. I actually feel like the dumbest person on earth. How coul... View more

I put a title in all of my study notes, reminded myself multiple times to title my graph. I just now realised, multiple hours later, that I did, in-fact, NOT title my graph. I feel so stupid. I actually feel like the dumbest person on earth. How could I forget to title a graph? A title is worth 1-2 marks on the test, which is out of 30. I am certain that if I titled my graph I would get 30/30, but no, I had to go and be an idiot and forget. I am so upset with myself. I don't know what to do.

AKH ADVICE | How to talk to someone who suffers anxiety?
  • replies: 3

Hi There, My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now and she suffers from anxiety. When we started dating I knew she had anxiety, she was upfront with what she had been through and what caused it and I've grown up with siblings and a... View more

Hi There, My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now and she suffers from anxiety. When we started dating I knew she had anxiety, she was upfront with what she had been through and what caused it and I've grown up with siblings and a parent who all suffered from one form of mental illness or another - so I never hesitated to think this was something I couldn't handle. When something happens that we disagree with, I know myself and I know I need to take a few minutes by myself to process both sides of whatever we've just disagreed on. However, with her, I find that I no longer have that luxury as she'll instantly start to panic and her anxiety manifests into uncontrollable shakes, so I find myself putting my feelings about the situation to the side to comfort her and make sure she's ok and breathing properly - so I don't get an opportunity to process my feelings or even feel what I want to feel. Recently, I had to have a conversation with her about the amount she messages throughout the day when I'm at work and I asked if we could please reduce (not stop all together) the amount we text during the day - I framed it in a way, that I need to concentrate at work, I can't be seen on my phone as much as I have been since we started dating and I feel that we're in a really great place as a couple that we don't need to give each other hourly updates of our day, these types of conversations can wait until we see other in person. She argued that I was pushing her away and trying to put distance between us and it became this massive argument which that night, once again, resulted in a panic attack and uncontrollable shaking and two days of doubting that I wanted to still be together. I'm now in a position where I don't feel we have created a safe space between each other to talk about difficult things without fear from myself that it's going to result in an attack. The alternative, which is keeping things to myself, isn't healthy and I'll eventually just bottle everything up and I have a lot of feelings I need to talk to her about, but I don't feel I can without causing another attack. I'm after some advice on HOW TO HAVE A SAFE CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS ANXIETY? Cheers,

madsan How do I tell my parents I think I'm depressed?
  • replies: 8

For the past 2 months I've had a strong feeling I'm depressed. I've tried bringing it up to my parents but I don't know how to do it. I feel as though they might shrug it off and forget about it or either overreact. I was thinking about going straigh... View more

For the past 2 months I've had a strong feeling I'm depressed. I've tried bringing it up to my parents but I don't know how to do it. I feel as though they might shrug it off and forget about it or either overreact. I was thinking about going straight to my GP but I strongly feel I need to tell my parents. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

white knight How to find friends
  • replies: 17

I've noticed a growing trend on this forum with new members having difficulty finding friends. Let's look at the history of how people found friends in the past, then we will look at today. In the 1800's before cars, telephone and planes there were t... View more

I've noticed a growing trend on this forum with new members having difficulty finding friends. Let's look at the history of how people found friends in the past, then we will look at today. In the 1800's before cars, telephone and planes there were trains but by and large travelling wasn't done in great distances. People relied only on the immediate town/s for friends and partners. This limited peoples ability to find friends or members of the opposite sex in large numbers, which meant people often married the best available which likely wasn't so compatible in the long run. It didn't matter though as marriage was forever...like it or not. How times have changed but up until the 1980's the most common way to meet was at dancing. That most common way to meet a future partner was really popular from ballroom to disco. Then dancing became old fashioned...the best way to meet up with someone vanished. Suddenly we relied on computer dating. In fact imo it is far more efficient than dancing. you can place your profile online, search for similar profiles and sometimes it works- like my daughter and her husband did and what a match it turned out to be. So I'd recommend that method, what about plain friendships? Friendships need key ingredients. The glue that binds the friendship is the common factor like a hobby, vintage cars, model airplanes, sewing groups, voluntary work and so on. In fact my ex BIL had no friends and so he took my advice and he joined StJohns first aid organization. For years he has walked the footy grounds among crowds to render first aid, most of his friends are his colleagues now. No different than joining the armed forces (but they have a contract) where you will make friends in fact, some of my friends were in the RAAF like me some 45 years ago. Not everyone wants to join the ADF even though there are many reasons why I'd recommend it like good pay, adventure, cheap meals and mates. But in general you need that "glue" to meet others or you are guessing on the compatibility. Do some deep thinking about this "glue". Seek out your interests and pursue that field to meet others. Don't expect to fit in immediately, take your time to suss out the people, to trust some but beware the unsavory and take your time entering into committee membership. Many of us that do have mental illness issues cannot cope with the squabbling and criticism. Good luck TonyWK

Randomkid_ I have very pale skin that is destroying my self esteem
  • replies: 3

I get called "albino" and "ghost" at school by random people and even my friends. I just want to look like everyone else but I feel like I'm just known as the white kid. I probably get a comment every single day and they're all nasty. I don't know wh... View more

I get called "albino" and "ghost" at school by random people and even my friends. I just want to look like everyone else but I feel like I'm just known as the white kid. I probably get a comment every single day and they're all nasty. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm trapped in my own body for the rest of my life.

dustinB Newbie here---Would like some advice on how to balance work and studies...
  • replies: 2

I work in a hotel, housekeeping department, and at the same time studying too. I have a hard time balancing both since I need to keep the job too to pay for my tuition. Any tips on how to manage both without having panic attacks? thanks

I work in a hotel, housekeeping department, and at the same time studying too. I have a hard time balancing both since I need to keep the job too to pay for my tuition. Any tips on how to manage both without having panic attacks? thanks

SweetAngel Fight with boyfriend
  • replies: 1

Why would your boyfriend text you the next morning “missing you heaps” after a big argument the night before and it made him in tears. I’m confused.

Why would your boyfriend text you the next morning “missing you heaps” after a big argument the night before and it made him in tears. I’m confused.

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