16 and feeling very depressed

[CloudyKayla]

I'm 16, I've been feeling sad for a some time, I remember my mum saying she thinks I'm depressed about 3 years ago. 

I don't really have anyone to talk to and I'm bad at talking about my feelings. I sometimes self-harm but try not to because people notice and it makes me feel worse about myself.

lately I just don't see the point in living, I'm doing bad at school, I see no future for myself, I don't have many friends and I honestly don't think anyone would even notice nor care if I was gone. 

Im posting here because I don't know what to do and I don't want to see a councillor.

the only reason I haven't ended it yet is because I'm scared it won't work and I don't want to have to explain myself. 

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[geoff]

dear Papercut, are you still with us in terms of reading posts.

I'm not sure whether you have checked this out on the net, probably, but google this  'colitis cure', because at your young age it's going to something that you will annoyed with.

I have known someone with this illness, and she is in her late 40's or early 50's, so please reply back to me.

dear Mikayla, it is always a problem being able to open up to someone, especially when you are talking about depression.

Can I ask you why your mum wants you to leave school, or is it because knowing that you do have depression that she believes that you won't be happy finishing it.

There is a nack in being able to talk to someone or at least a counsellor, firstly tell them that you are scared in opening up to a stranger, then they will take it easy to begin with, and may ask about any hobbies, sports, or watching any sports, and just slowly edge their way into you gaining your confidence with them, and this conversation will develop on how much you want to tell them, and then each session will increase at your pass, but it's always good to give it about 3 sessions and see how you go.

If you feel like it you can write down some of your thoughts, and if there is a difficult one that you have written down at the end of it put in brackets that you don't want to talk about this for awhile. Geoff. x

[papercut]

hey geoff, sorry i havent replied back. ive been so caught up in doing assignments and doing things that shold have been done days ago. thankyou for the advice, i really appriciate it 🙂 ill look up the colitis cure for sure. thankyou

[Queenie]

Hi Mikayla,

Your school should have a Guidance Officer or a student welfare officer who you can go to for support and advice.  These caring and supportive professionals will be able to help you to work through your feelings without everyone at the school having to know about it.  You can approach them yourself or your mum can call them (you could tell her that you want to talk about how badly you are doing at school if you are worried about telling her that you are depressed).  Do you have a teacher that you trust?  They could help you make an appointment as well.  I work in student welfare in a primary school and can assure you that you will find the help you need from people who are interested in and dedicated to student well being. 

[CloudyKayla]

Hi queenie,

I went to see our school counsellor about 3 years ago after a friend past away and jt just gave me huge anxiety and I just can't do it. 

Geoff, sorry Iit's taken me a while to reply,  my mum wants me to leave school so that I can go to tafe and get a traineeship or something. Also because I miss a bit of school because im too tired and sad to l get up haha