Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I'm 16 and i have depression....

replies: 3

i don't know where to start, I'm just kinda rambling now... i have depression and need a friend I'm 16 and I've been suffering for 4 years, since the beginning of high school. No surprise that the cause of it all is a dysfunctional broken family, but also intense school anxiety and social phobia and a bunch of other pathetic stuff. When i'm home, i feel so trapped. i think alot and i would stay up till 3 in the morning thinking about dying. In a dysfunctional family how do i get better when the the others are having problems of their own? I feel so isolated, i really have no one to talk to but the voice in my head. When i'm at home i suffer but at school, i'm so different At school i'm known as the nice, sweet and smiling Asian girl, i have never tried or attempted to express my emotions because its become a routine to put on a mask everyday to hide it from anyone. My group is a bunch of cynical pessimistic people. i have some charming positive friends who are really nice to me, but they're only in my classes and seem to have better friends to hang out with. Internally i'm going through hell but i act like i'm happy around other people... whats wrong with me?

Relationship with both individuals experiencing mental illness?

replies: 2

I'm just going to try and cut my story short as i really need some advice and past experiences to work from. A few months ago, i started dating this guy. We were both 17. I have been struggling with severe depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder and self harm for many years. He had experienced some of it in his past also, but was generally healthy at the time. We dated for about 3 months and we were both so attached and really loved each other. Unfortunately one night we had a huge fight and my boyfriend decided he was going to chat up another girl, send her photos etc. It wasn't until 3 weeks later that i found out what he did. It was the day before my 18th birthday and i broke up with him because i was so upset, hurt and disappointed with him. We didnt speak for a few weeks and then one day he decided to call me and apologise for everything that he did. I accepted his apology, but still did not want anything to do with him even though he was all i could think about. Recently, in the past few days, we have started talking again as we are both having such a hard time letting go and forgetting all our feelings for each other. We are both so inlove with each other, even though we are so young. In the past few days we have been talking, he told me he ended up in hospital for having a breakdown. He is now also on medication for depression and has been self-harming. This has all happened in the 6 weeks that we have been apart. We sorted everything out and have decided that we want to be friends, but eventually get back together as we are our happiest when we are together and its what we both want. We have decided to focus on ourselves and try our best to improve our mental states, but i just want to know whether this is a good idea and if it is worth it? We are both willing to put in 110% and try our best to think positively and attend therapy (obviously at different places). Is it worth it? and if you have experienced this before can you PLEASE help me out. I really love this boy, as silly as it sounds and i really want it all to work out but i'm not sure if its the right thing. Thanks xx

Please help

replies: 1

I feel tired and unmotivated all the time. I keep thinking that I'm worthless and I'll never amount to anything. I spend a lot of time idly wishing that I was dead, or that I'd never been born. I've been trying to keep up with university and chores and a social life, but all I want to do is sleep or watch TV or surf the internet. Even though I'm tired all the time, I keep going to bed later than I should, because I hate the thought of lying awake in bed with nothing to distract me. Every time I even think about all of my responsibilities, I start panicking because it all seems so huge and impossible. Every little step along the way turns into a three-hour hike.It got worse after I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago - he was the only person I could really talk to about this sort of thing. The break-up has been really messy - every time I feel like I'm getting used to it, something else complicates it and I'm taken back to square one. I feel really lonely now that I've lost that relationship, but every time someone tries to reach out to me, I feel like I say the wrong thing.I can't talk to any of my friends or family about all of this. I know they care, but I don't think they'd really understand, and I'd just be bringing them down with me. My parents have their jobs and lives back in my hometown. I have a few friends from high school who go to university in the same city as me - I live in a share house with a couple of them - but I'm not really close enough to any of them to feel comfortable burdening them. I don't want to be a downer, and I don't think they want to be around a downer, so I try to act happy when I'm around them. I usually do feel a bit better after I've been with my friends, but I'm kind of introverted and I always feel too nervous to initiate any contact, so I don't talk to them much, with the exception of my roommates. I haven't really made any new friends at university. I know it's selfish, but I keep thinking that I'm never going to get another boyfriend at this rate, and then I keep thinking that I'm going to have to keep being lonely for the rest of my life, and I can see it stretching out ahead of me and it just seems so pointless. Especially after having really, genuinely loved someone, who I honestly believed I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I feel like I've lost that, and my future really doesn't make any sense to me any more. I've given up on having a career that I care about, my parents will die long before I do, and my brother and my friends will all develop their own lives and leave me behind. What will I have left when that happens?I was seeing a therapist in my hometown over the Christmas holidays, and it helped a bit. I decided to use the counselling services at my university, but they're swamped with people. I had one appointment about three weeks ago, and I was due to have another one today, but the lady I was supposed to see is sick, and they had to reschedule it for another two weeks time. I understand why they had to do that, and I'm not upset that they did, but at the same time, I feel like I can't handle this on my own. Two weeks seems like such a long time.Sorry for the long, whiny post. I guess I kind of don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone I can reach out to in real life any more, so I decided to throw it into the internet in the hope that it might help. I've been trying to convince both myself and other people that I'm fine, but truth be told, I've been feeling kind of desperate lately. This is something of a last resort.

Family troubles

replies: 2

im having problems with my family. My sister used to like the guy im dating now - nothing ever happened between them and it was always one sided. she had dated many guys since then but she is refusing to be okay with it. i've been with him for 13 months and my family has known for 5 months. As a result my other siblings are also taking her side. Of the 7 people living at home with me, only my parents are being normal with me. I'm being ignored if I speak up about it and its reached a point where I feel bullied when it comes to other things completely unrelated to him. its like my sister is taking advantage of the fact that Im letting her have a say in the matter and she is using the fact that I feel bad about hurting her by being with him against me. sometimes its good between my siblings and I (when I pretend im not with him - not mentioning him) but when it's bad its terrible. Everyone gangs up on me and makes me feel like im doing something wrong by standing up for myself when she tries to pick stupid fights with me.Its reached a point where i'm upset thinking about it throughout the day and when fights do happen I get really angry and lose control. Last night we got into a fight and everyone was telling me I was wrong, I went into my room and I was just wanting to really hurt myself. I feel like at the moment as much as I am thinking these things, I still have some control over whether or not I do it but im worried that I may not be as 'strong' if it keeps happening.I talk to my partner about the things that happen at home and he is very supporting. it was only tonight that i told him about what i think at times when it gets really hard. i know he was trying to help when he told me to compare my family fights to bigger problems that other people are experiencing day to day and as much as i feel for these people, it doesn't change the fact that what im going through is big for me and is getting to me. he then told me about his cousin who committed suicide and his circumstances so i didn't want to continue our conversation because i felt like what i was saying may upset him.there's nobody else i can talk to. it was hard enough telling him about what i was thinking - when im not actually in that state of mind and emotion, i feel like what i feel is dramatic and attention seeker-ish so i don't feel like i would be able to talk to my friends about this.

I'm just sad and in need for someone to talk to.

replies: 3

Hey guys.I'm 19 this year and I have been depressed since I was 7. Or at least, I remember wanting to kill myself when I was still turning 8 for no apparent reason. Because I have suffered through chronic sadness all my childhood right to this point in my life, I feel like I don't really know what happiness feels like, no self acceptance, humility etc. After being diagnosed with a chronic disease at the age of 13, this... Chain of dramatic events happened and I feel like it was all because of me, such as:- my parents broke up due to money and a lot of it was because of my illness. Of course, they don't want to think that way but I always knew I was smart enough to know the money issues, medicine, getting off work, was because of me.-the family is destroyed- my dad had a stroke and is now suffering through a rare type of palsy which will take his life in 4-8 years- mum who is 55 this year has run out of money and is working almost 24/7 to make ends meet I just can't shake this feeling of guilt off and it's been killing me for the last 5 years. I've had an amazing psychologist, reliable support network. But I'm 18 now, and as a lonely 14 year old attention seeker, I have run out of sympathy points. I understand that I'm being a wimp but what is saddening me right now is my dad and to be honest I just cannot think positively about the future. I feel like he's going to die early because of me. My sister and I won't have him walk us down the isle because of me. No grand children. You know? It's depressing. And because I've had such a depressing mind in the past, I know how easy it is to be sad, think about suicide and actually act upon it. Not saying that I'm planning on it, but I'm dreading that my clinical depression might be coming back. I graduated high school, I'm at uni right now. Have a job. 2 close best friends. I just know that this "chain of dramatic events " is just going to continue from here and I feel like I don't want to continue living if I'm just going to live with constant guilt. What should I do?beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

My experience

replies: 6

I will be kind've ambiguous with this in terms of some details. I am still in school currently. Two years ago I saw a dead body. I started to isolate myself from people at that point. I was always a bit shy but this just completely got me. I have slowly been destroying myself. I was losing everyone around me and the main cause was me. A year after this my grandmother died of old age. I had neglected her this whole time so it hit me bad over time. After that I completely isolated myself and lost everyone around me or at least that's how it feels. I am not close with anyone because of all this but I wish I was. I was filled with self-hate, guilt and doubt over myself. For over a year I sat there finding it more and more difficult to put on this fake smile so people wouldn't know.Everyday the same. Watching everything around me cave ion and the truth was it was all on me. I was and am causing it all. I have dealt with a few other things as well like the way I looked which I do and did hate. I hate who I am and think about all my actions second guessing myself. It's gotten worse and worse. It has been two years now since seeing the body and well the effect still feels so profound. I sometimes get these racing thoughts. Life honestly feels pointless most of the time. I struggle against that but when you have no friends and no one close then it's hard to find some direction or point in it. I really try not to but when the things you think might make you happy seem like an illusion sometimes it seems worthless. I feel like if I was in a relationship with someone then I could be honest with them and this one girl I tried to reach out to I just disappointed them, let them down and hurt them. I would describe it in stages. Maybe this sounds familiar. At first I blamed god for it all and I was mad thinking that the world had done me wrong then I slowly stopped and just got mad at myself. Didn't believe in god and don't. I slowly began to go so deep into this that I just cried myself to sleep and then I just stopped caring. Having things said to me everyday didn't help but I didn't care and I just let it all happen. I degraded myself as well because I really didn't care and well it made it all easier to swallow I think. Even now I barely cry but I still do, barely able to perceive what's real and what's not. If you try to convince yourself of something for so long then start to try something else then it gets hard to figure out which is which. I want to type this because I have never really laid it out like this externally. Haven't even told my counsellor which I have started seeing which doesn't really help.

I just want support?

replies: 2

So I'm writing this just to get a little support from people. I don't know what to do. I know there is something wrong with me, but I'm just too afraid to talk about it to anyone. I feel so hopeless and worthless, and I feel like I have no one(even though i know I do). I feel like I'm letting everyone down when I'm really not doing anything to let them down with. I hate waking up in the mornings, and I get very little sleep during the night. I've always been like that, but for as long as I can remember I've always felt like this. I used to self harm, and I've just recently started again. Like i know its not going to help me, but I just cant help it. With the whole feeling worthless and stuff, I know I'm not. I know I mean a lot to people like my family and friends, but I just cant move the feeling. I've always pushed people away, and never told anyone what goes on in this head of mine. I just can't physically or mentally talk to people about what troubles me. So talking to a doctor or psychiatrist is out of the picture. Getting real help is out of the picture, just cause it goes with the whole "talking about my feelings" thing. Honestly, this is the first time I have ever called out for help with this. Its getting to the point where I'm just going to give up. And I don't want too. Can someone give me any advise or anything? Please?

Nobody to turn to

replies: 1

Coming into this site and posting is very hard for me. One of the reasons is that my thoughts have lately become more and more disorganized. Another reason is that I am afraid that someone I know will read this. I have been diagnosed with depression when I was 21, 2 years ago. I have a history of contemplating about suicide, but have never had the nerve to go through with it because I don't want my family (particularly my mom) to blame themselves for it. I am scared that one of these days, I would choose death over my love for my family. Last year, I was able to be more active and happy, but I have noticed that these past few months have me going back into the darkness of depression. I want to talk to my family and friends about it but my friends and father don't understand and write it off as me being dramatic, while my mother would just blame herself and say that she was a bad person, making me feel even worse. I have tried talking to a counselor before, but my mother would get angry if I share anything that would be considered damaging to what she thinks her image as a mother is. I feel that posting here is the best option for me at the moment. Has anyone else had a similar situation to mine, wherein they could not ask for professional help and have had nobody in their close circle to talk to? I feel very hopeless at the moment, but any advice on how to cope would be very much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I finally did it !

replies: 3

I finally built up the courage to see a counselor and it was the best decision I ever made ! Long way to go and one day at a time . Thanks for the encouragement from the people here on beyond blue

Can somebody please give me some advice

replies: 1

Hi, I'm a 22 year old male engineering student living in Sydney and am seeking some advice as to what I should do about my own suspected depression. My father died by suicide while i was 9 years old leaving my mother, 7yo sister and myself behind. This was a massive shock to the family and at that age I had never heard of the word depression or even known that my father was sick. Me and my mother have never really sat down and discussed how bad dad's depression was so I feel a little disconnected from my mother in that respect. I also feel like i should be strong enough to cope with this and not bounden my mother with the worry of it all even though she regular asks if I'm ok as if she suspects I'm not doing well. Throughout my life I have always noticed that I tend to grab onto father figures, such as my fathers friends in my teens or for instance my honours supervisor at this point and the only explanation I have for this is that I never had one growing up. Over my 4 years at uni I've had extreme ups and lows, although I'm unsure whether depression is the cause or not or rather the general battles of life that everyone experiences. I've managed extremely well to pass all of my courses and am currently completing my honours, however I have an addictive personality that I think can probably be linked back to my father (my father smoked, only giving up due to health scares and compulsively chewed his nails much the same as me and my sister who have tried to give up both multiple times) Its very much an anxious thing that triggers me to smoke or pick my nails . Since moving out of home I have become a cigarette also smoke cannabis usually daily (for the last 2 years) to do away with the constant thoughts that occupy my mind. At the moment I've recognised that its a problem and have limited myself to only smoking late at night and no longer during the day. Previously while i was at uni I was able to get away with not attending class, smoking at home all day and passing my engineering classes from home. Now that I'm doing my honours research and looking for a full-time graduate position I am no longer able to get away with this. I have just come out of a 2 year relationship with a girl who was also heavily depressed during the time I knew her. She managed to get her life back on track through the help and support of friends, and was regular taking antidepressants at the time we broke up. Over the last 4 years i have gradually lost my interest in my hobbies. I used to pay drums every day, have a hit of tennis or squash here and there, make web-sites when i was bored. Now days all i want to do it sleep in to 12 o'clock so that I don't have to think about the day ahead, my ex, how my thesis will be finished on time, how I'm going to find a good graduate position with a final mark of 65 or the loneliness that is to come. I think the main problem is that there are a number of things stacking up which are making it particularly bad for me at the moment. I am unable to go to sleep at night (only with the aid of cannabis) and I'm currently sitting here at 5am in the morning writing this after not being able to get to sleep. My mind is constantly thinking about my ex, friends that I've lost contact with over the course of my relationship, and general hopelessness in all senses. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to catch up with my friends and go out again but most of them are now in the same position of having finished work and having full-time jobs. Previous to this I was going out with my girlfriend on a regular basis. It wasn't until my best friend and roommate came out of his own 3 year relationship and was diagnosed with depression that we sat down and talked about it. He has very similar habits to me in terms of smoking cannabis, cigarettes and day to day activities and is convinced that I have it and should go see a psychiatrist. One other thing I've noticed lately is that I get extremely anxious when dealing with people who may judge me or have an impact on the outcome of my future (for instance my honours supervisor). My heart rate increases, I begin to sweat and I have trouble thinking clearly. This is definitely a confidence issue as i know if Im prepared and haven't stayed up all night and putting my work off during the day then i feel much more confident talking to him. I just feel like I'm lacking motivation to do anything in all aspects of my life at the moment. I feel extremely guilty about my honours research (even though I enjoy the field of study) and always feel like I have never done enough or its not good enough. I am somewhat a perfectionist in my work and this can sometimes be determinetal to me I believe. For the last week and half since i broke up with my ex I haven't been able to touch my uni work again and feel bad about not having work ready to submit. Its been a struggle to get myself motivated to complete my uni work at any point however. Anyway I've run out of chars. Thx Toby

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

I&apos;m 16 and i have depression.... replies: 3

Relationship with both individuals experiencing mental illness? replies: 2

Please help replies: 1

Family troubles replies: 2

I&apos;m just sad and in need for someone to talk to. replies: 3

My experience replies: 6

I just want support? replies: 2

Nobody to turn to replies: 1

I finally did it ! replies: 3

Can somebody please give me some advice replies: 1