I have a horse. I am just not riding at the moment. I have always since my earliest childhood been a sad person and could never really form friendships that lasted very long. I just can't connect with people. But I found a connection with horses. They make me happy. But lately I am avoudung doing anything that puts pressure on me. I guess training is hard to do sometimes on your body and teaching a young horse involves miles and miles of work. Which at the time was making me happy and fit. Then I had to take a break for a while for the horse to rest as he was buggered and sore from 12 weeks of breaking and training. After that my mood just has plummeted and I am anxious to get back into training but I know physically it is going to hurt for a while. Its not that big of a deal but my mind and body are reacting to it and I keep pushing it away to the too hard basket in my brain.
I have had very little success with gps. When I was 14 I wanted councilling outside of school and my mother took me to a female gp. That basically laughed at my worries and said it was just puberty. It wasn't, I was very depressed. She gave my mum a no. For a local councilor but in the end mum never arranged it for me and I never went.
At 18 I went to a gp because I had insomnia and headaches. He prescribed an anti depressant. He said I was just stressed from the HSC. I started taking it but my mum talked me out of it. She said it was bad to take chemicals that mess with your head. I don't know why she thought like that.
At 21 I had a newborn and pnd. I started taking an antidepressant after a health nurse refused to let me leave her office as I got a bad score on the depression test the make you do. I went to a gp and he prescribed anti-depressants. They never suggested or offered councilling. I stopped taking them just before we tried for baby #2. They didn't do much besides make me feel numb like an emotionless zombie. I didn't like that feeling.
Over a year ago now I went to a gp ( i live in a rural area we never have the same gps for long). I told her I get anxiety and feel depressed. And she told me to exercise and eat healthier food and take vitamin B6. It took me all my effort at the time to get the courage (i can be very socially anxious or as others call it ... SHY) to ask for help. I do have an active lifestyle and Ido eat well. Vitamins are not going to help me after twenty eight years of me being me.
