Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Needing some advice on marriage

replies: 7

Hi, I came to beyond blue to come for some guidance about marriage. Fights happen. I get it, as a couple we need to learn how to fight 'well'. I believe my wife is under quite alot of stress being apart of allied health as a sole business owner (and the only person managing the business). She is taking more work than she can handle and I believe the constant stress about work is getting her bogged down. From my life experiences, I suspect that she is getting burnt out and I would be receiving the back end of the consequences. She actually had gotten violent last night (rare occasion). I immediately left the room because I did not want to provoke her any further because I was tired too. Truth is, I was like that too. burnt out, getting anger outbursts. When I was struggling my was wife was not being very supportive. She was blaming me for being angry and how I was acting. She could not understand that I was having a hard time. This was before I was able to have resolve my internal issues with the help of my counsellor. So now the roles have reversed. I want to be supportive, I want to be the better person. instead of pointing out the hypocrisy and being a hypocrite myself. How do I start that conversation with my wife without lighting the fuse? She's not a good listener. I had been encouraging and giving her work advice, warned her of the challenges that would have prevented her situation, even helped to ease off the workload. (I can't just say I told you so, no matter how tempting that is) I too am working for the community, I won't specify, but I do tend to bring alot of work home with me but I been more so preoccupied rather than stressed. Exhausted shall I say. How do I help someone who does not listen to me? I would appreciate anyone's comments.

Hi everyone, yes am new, off work dues to illness and injury and feeling lost and not sure now what to do.

replies: 2

I am only 55 years old, so not ready for Retirement, due to illness I am forced to take time off, yep feeling sad and useless due to early onset osteo, but also having Rheumatoid arthrisis, Wow sorry if this is not how things are done, but life has b... View more

So a have BPD , Trauma , Major Depression and SH

replies: 14

I have been suffering for over 3 years now , but the last few weeks have been the worst for me .. I have been self sabotaging everything l do and possibly treatment resistant . I have been seeing alot of specialist and still hitting the brick wall of frustration . I feel l am not being heard , seen and ignored. I have hurt myself and l am left with scars that are a reminder always. I want to move forward . but feel l am stepping backwards always. The struggle is real , the fear is real and the l am not sure where to go from here.

How do you get a correct diagnosis

replies: 3

Hi and thanks for reading. I have been not right for many years and have been considered shy, outgoing, alcoholic, caring, depressed, anxious depending on what day you ask someone. I haven't had alcohol in years because I was told my conditions would clear up if I stopped drinking and took antidepressants but TADA! No they didn't. I've been told I have major depression, acute anxiety, PTSD and only recently bipolar 2 however on reading, I think more likely to be Cyclothymia? I have been on a certain medication for years and it only really brought out hypo's mainly as well as some depression relief. How do you get a proper diagnosis when it appears Australian psychiatrists (including Lancet published specialists) can't seem to agree with what's wrong? Tanzi Bee

Suicide loss

replies: 3

I thought there was a suicide loss forum on this site but cant find it?

Hi All, Sharing my story

replies: 5

Hi All, I just joined and thought I share my story here. I am 45-year-old father of 2 kids, 13 and 11 who moved to Australia 25 years ago. Last December after years of marriage issues I left home and was living off a suitcase at different places. And in April this year my mum who lives overseas suddenly passed away from leukemia. I was very close to her, and her sudden death was a huge shock to me. At the same time my small business that I worked so hard over 5 years to build is facing a court battle for a wrong thing a former director did. Its like my perfect life has suddenly collapsed and since Last December I have battled depression and anxiety and depended heavily on alcohol to kill the pain. I have received helped but nothing has really worked so it’s a ongoing daily battle for me I have 2 court cases coming up this week and next week for my business and separation. Last 2 weeks my depression and anxiety has skyrocketed with the unknown factor. Feels like if things don’t go in favour of me with the court cases there is no point of living. Last few days I have had suicidal thoughts but been hanging on. I just pray everyday hopping things will get better for me.

New here and lonely

replies: 7

Hi everyone. I’ve been feeling pretty lonely lately. I hope to feel a bit more connected by participating here. im 40. Single. Never married. No kids. Mostly lesbian. I have few friends and little family. The family I do have are overseas and COVID has made them feel so far away. Work is my life but I hate every day of it. I count down the minutes until I can leave. I’m a boss and people are jerks. Everyone wants to play games. The people above are corrupt, many below are liars and cheats. I feel empty.

I'm new here - my experience with anxiety and depression

replies: 2

Hi everybody, I've just joined the forums and I'm eager to read about people's experiences and what they've been doing to find help. I'm a 24-year-old student of psychological science. I love playing my guitar, petting dogs, and spending hours rotting my brain cells on TikTok. As a teenager, I was one of those people who thought you could think yourself out of a mental crisis. Teenagers experience emotions differently so when my first girlfriend experienced depression, I found it hard to understand. Then, towards the end of my 18th year I started struggling with anxiety. I was having trouble fitting in socially at university, and struggling with my coursework. I was working up to three jobs at the time, on top of my schoolwork. To add to the stress, a group of friends that I was fond of broke up, and my neuroticism turned them away from me. It wasn't until then that I realised I had an issue. Afterwards it took almost a year to build myself back to normalcy. The things that really helped was recognising when I was embracing negative thought patterns and romanticising my depressive episode. I think I had convinced myself that I was the main character in a book, without realising that it's not the suffering that endears us to fictional characters, but how they work themselves out of their suffering that matters. I started a band, I went to shows, I joined a climate action group, I dropped my ego, and I learned to listen to others instead of egocentrically emotionally spewing over them. You might recognise that much of this solution involved some pretty harsh critical reflection, so this was also not a perfect solution. Years later, after a bad breakup, I started to feel anxiety and depression symptoms again, only this time the solution was not to break apart my personality and squeeze it back together like some gory jigsaw puzzle. My biggest breakthrough with my psychologist was when she asked me verbatim "How much self punishment is enough? At what point do you say it's time to accept that even though you could have done better, it's time to accept that and move on." It took me years, but I learned how to critically evaluate my actions and how they effect others, but I have to remember not to self-flagellate and force myself to suffer for every little mistake, and I'm still learning. Plus music, hobbies, and social connections are immeasurably helpful. Who relates to this experience?

Even at 60

replies: 19

Hello to all the courageous out there At this next stage in my life, I had hoped to have gain wisdom and life skills in order to help deal and push forward in the positive. However, I find myself sorely lacking in life's skills when dealing with people and coping with loneliness. For me, I find that I am still unable to make new friends or if I do, hold onto them. I find that I am always the one who initiates the phone call or organises the get togethers. Yet if I don't make the first move, then the only thing I hear are crickets. My phone may as well be switched off. My children call only when they need something and I get to see my Grandchild once every two or so months, even though he lives 10 minutes away. I do not for one minute play the victim as I take responsibility for my actions, however, I can't shake the feeling that perhaps I am not so likeable after all, even though when I do call, the caller is genuinely happy to hear from or meet with me. My self doubts run deep and I've had many years to cultivate those negative self worth feelings. My age appears to be a barrier in making new friends, as most my age either have their circle of friends or just don't push past the cordial greetings and light banter. I am lonely. I feel worthless, no longer needed, after a lifetime of raising a family and helping others. It's as if I am now invisible in societies eyes and of no value, even though I hold a life's time worth of knowledge and education. I can empathise with the lonely, yet I am unable to push past this wall of self doubt and futile feelings. I acknowledge I am depressed, but I fight each and everyday to the point of despair. Indifference is now plaguing me as a defence mechanism. I love to laugh, live, I walk with a smile on my face, I engage and accept. I am good people, yet what's wrong with me?

New here, diagnosed BPD, FP needs space

replies: 7

TW: mention of drugs Hi I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety and BPD. My best friend, my 'favourite person', asked for space on Saturday morning for an unspecified amount of time. He doesnt know if or when he would come back or if he would see me again. But he did say if he cant come back he'll at least tell me in person. We dated for a while. He cheated, prioritised drugs, did something my ex did to break up with me to make sure we wouldn't get back together. The breakup was rocky but we still lived together. We took some space when he eventually moved out but i could still message him if i needed. He was still there to support me if i needed. Cos of the issues mentioned above, we had an agreement to let me move on first which he broke after about 6 months (11 months ago now). We also had an agreement he would tell me when he did drugs because of the anxiety he knew it caused me (he knew prior to dating). He broke that 2 weeks ago. He has been my rock, my world and have been best friends after the breakup. I know he has changed who he is alot in the last 6 months so im not ashamed to say hes still my best friend despite everything. Pls do not mention that i should not be around him cos of those things, it is not constructive, ty. I have forgiven him and he has changed. I have been struggling a lot mentally and he had been on and off with being supportive, as he had been going through a lot himself which he didnt tell me about. I felt alone, sometimes even around him. He eventually opened up about everything. He has been the support person for a lot of people in his life, but i was the most recent and it all built up and was too much. He decided he needs space from me, and cant contact him at all while he figures himself out and works on hmself. He doesnt know when or if he'll come back. He did say i deserve to know in person, so i hope he doesnt break that and actualy still tells me in person. Its been 4 days and i am missing him like crazy, my world feels like its ending and i just want to be able to contact him. The thought that he might break agreements, or not tell me if he wont come back scares me. The idea of how long I'll have to go without seeing him scares me too. He said it could be weeks/months. Even around friends and family i still feel alone cos i cant reach out to him at all. Anyone been through similar? I dont want generic "it will be okay" advice cos i dont find it helpful. Please share your stories

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Needing some advice on marriage replies: 7

Hi everyone, yes am new, off work dues to illness and injury and feeling lost and not sure now what to do. replies: 2

So a have BPD , Trauma , Major Depression and SH replies: 14

How do you get a correct diagnosis replies: 3

Suicide loss replies: 3

Hi All, Sharing my story replies: 5

New here and lonely replies: 7

I'm new here - my experience with anxiety and depression replies: 2

Even at 60 replies: 19

New here, diagnosed BPD, FP needs space replies: 7