Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Loss of identity, independence and withdrawn

replies: 67

Hi lovely people. I am experiencing the above title. Im wondering if this is a common feeling. I have chosen to withdraw from outsides,as it is my way of survival. Would like some thoughts and views of others who feel the same way I do. Take care lov... View more

Dipping the toe in!

replies: 7

Greetings I am a mid- 60's female, living geographically isolated, and "enjoy" the long-term company of the 'trying trio' - depression, anxiety & PTSD. Have no dedicated professional support anymore, and am hoping that folks who talk the language wil... View more

Struggling with anxiety and a partner with depression.

replies: 1

Hi, I am new here. I am 26 years old, I struggle with anxiety and I have a partner who struggles with severe depression. I am struggling in my own mental state, currently more than ever and I am trying to navigate building a life with my partner who is living with depression and I need advice I don't even know where to start or what to say. The good times are good, the bad times are bad and the fights are bad. Which I'm sure stems from mental health, but also impacts our mental health. Has anyone been through a similar situation?

So very tired and looking for support and an understanding ear

replies: 7

Hello. Here I am, hoping that this year would start better - as many of us are. I am reaching our (first time visitor, first time poster), because I am at a loss as to how to get balance back in my household. 2020 my partner was stood down. It was also the year that I insisted we have counselling because of a lack of communication, and some other frustrations, surrounding what I believed to be their declining mental health, or rather, a lack of having a long-standing issue addressed. Counselling was short-lived and nothing much changed. 2021, saw us going to the Dr, and having sleep studies, medication and counselling, all insisted by me. Medication has maintained, the rest they have not followed up. In May they injured themselves at work and have been on workcover ever since. 2022 saw a close friend of ours give birth... as exciting as that is, we have been doing IVF for the past 4 years, and have recently decided to stop, due to age and lack of success. Throughout this time, I have remained stoic - I have cleaned up, worked, paid bills, supported, counselled, insisted, been the coach, the mother, the accountability buddy... but I am so tired. I need to grieve. I need help. I need to come first for once. Yet I can't see a way of asking for this, and receiving it 1) because they are not capable, and 2) whenever anything happens that is a challenge or that is when I might need help, they become ill. Physically, but my guess is caused by his mental illness - i.e. the stress of having to be the supporter causes them to get sick. I love them - and I feel as though I am thinking about leaving/deserting/adding more pressure in their moment of need - but, all they seem to do is need. And I am running out of care. They have just taken the last 2 days off because they are unwell - stressing they could have covid, yet have none of the symptoms, and also, while I shop, work etc, they still want to hang out in communal areas of the house - so when I asked if they should be isolating, they've taken themselves off with their tail between their legs like I am the mean guy/the mean mum... and I can't even be a mum which makes it all the worse!!! Anyway - I figure there are some people here who also carry the emotional, financial and life-admin load of their relationship, who can shed light on how to get through this (does it ever end?), or whether this is as good as it gets.

My Story

replies: 3

Hi, I'm Brenda, and 1st time trying to Be Real with my problem, cos I feel ashamed and sick, about having a Mental Problem.. everyone in my family has a Real Strong sense of self, even my own 2 boys have confidence, and they were both Raised by me, a Single mum.. sometimes I think, OK where is the troubled you, why are you so normal.. And I keep looking for something to crack in them, and I think they're both faking being OK. But my eldest is 44yrs in April, and my youngest 29yrs next month.. So I'm now like, oh, the light has gone on, and I'm projecting.. Anyway, all I can tell.you about myself, is that ever since I was 5yrs old I knew my mum wasn't going to be any help, or interested in me. And by the time I was approx 7yrs, and from then on for my life, both my parents and sister were telling me, I'm stupid, I've got rocks in my head, no-one would like me, and I'm not good enough, and by the time I was a teenager, they blamed me for All of my Family problems.. I think this will do for now. Thankyou for listening.. kind regards, Brenda

Finding out your adopted at 55 in another country

replies: 5

Hi, Not sure I am in the right place , but here goes, My mum dad and two sisters emigrated to Australia in the 80s, and just before Xmas I thought gee I haven’t got a birth certificate, and all this Covid stuff is asking for this information, so I contacted gov site in Scotland to get a copy as my dad said didn’t have it, my mother passed a few years ago, only to find out I can’t because I am adopted, broached the subject with my 80 odds father on Xmas day and he confirmed it. I really don’t know how I feel, I am sort of numb, and my partner wants to ask all these questions but I really don’t want to ask my dad, as he seems to be now just going on as if everything is the same. My two sisters apparently don’t know, and we don’t have any other extended family left alive, but I do feel a bit silly thinking back on conversations about how my kids look like dad etc and of course they don’t… I am not at the stage of thinking of finding someone, I am just at early stages of applying to courts to get my birth certificate, and I have adoption paperwork in the mail to me from Scotland, although not sure what that will show etc yet.

so tired

replies: 7

Hi I have just joined and this is my first post. I have ben feeling so foggy for a while now (more than an year). My manager left work 8 months ago and I have stepped in his role since then. I applied for this role and have just been told that I got it. But I have been plagued with self doubt and so many conflicting emotions. I know many people feel that I should feel grateful that I have reached this milestone whereas some people have to work much harder than this to actually get promoted. every day feels like a challenge. It's such a feat to get our of bed to go to work. Working is such a chore and I am just so tired. Physically and mentally, I am just drained. It is so hard to explain myself to anyone without bursting into tears. People remark that it's just work, why are you putting so much pressure on yourself. but it feels much more than that. sometimes I feel that it might be just so much easier to just not wake up. Then I will not have to worry about making nay decisions. I want to be able to enjoy what I do, But there is no other jobs that I feel like I could do. I am in the healthcare sector and I feel that I will be letting my team down as well as my family. I wish that I could just resign, but I still have a mortgage and bills to pay. I want to be able to talk to people without the fear of being judged and thought of as wanting a cop out. I have been working for the last 16 plus years and I am just tired. Tired of everything

Hello I'm new here but not new to depression

replies: 3

I have started with depression again. Feeling down but not anxious. I have been fine for about 8 years. Have just had my medication changed. I hate feeling this way. Thought I would come here and talk to like minded people. Take care. Viv

Hello...

replies: 4

I'm new to this like many before me and I don't really know what I'm doing but I suffer from anxiety and it seems to be getting worse. I don't generally talk to people about anxiety but thought opening up to people might be able to help me or I might... View more

Hi, I’m new here

replies: 6

I was going to start this message with a fluffy opener like “Hi, I’m Spacefiasco I’m grieving, have anxiety and like walks in the park”. Something noncommittal that says a bit while not saying anything at all. But I don’t think I’m going to get better without learning how to be vulnerable. I think I might have something called “complicated grief”. Sometimes the thoughts and memories are so intense and invasive I can’t get myself out of re-experiencing things again. It makes it hard to move forward, to accept change, and to form meaningful connections with people. I’ve found it’s also a hard thing to talk about with family/friends because people don’t seem to understand persistent grief. Yes, it hurts just as much as the first day. No, that’s not something I’m choosing. No, I can’t “just move on”. No, “trying to stay positive” doesn’t help. And no, saying “but that was ages ago!” in disbelief is not the right thing to say. I’ve always been someone that hides when I’m going through something hard anyway. I was someone who found it difficult to trust people and be vulnerable before this sh*t show, and now with all my triggers it seems unsafe to open up at all. I’m still so triggered by everything: new places, old places, most music, food, buying new things, changes in general etc etc. It happens a lot everyday, and before you know it I’m on the train to Invasive Thoughts And Memories Town. The memories are intense, persistent, invasive and feel like a punch in the gut. Even feeling better/healthy/happy can be triggering. Seriously, wtf?? That’s just… 🤷‍🤦‍ I’ve been seeing a therapist. That has been profoundly helpful. She has been away since Christmas though, and that’s how I’ve found myself here. Playing word games on this forum over the last few days has been a lifeline. It has felt safe and has stopped my brain from spiralling. This forum seems like a really inclusive, non-judgey, safe place to connect with other people who have experienced or are experiencing some hard things. Even if that connection is as simple as playing A-Z of animals. If you’ve read this far, I’m amazed and grateful!

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Loss of identity, independence and withdrawn replies: 67

Dipping the toe in! replies: 7

Struggling with anxiety and a partner with depression. replies: 1

So very tired and looking for support and an understanding ear replies: 7

My Story replies: 3

Finding out your adopted at 55 in another country replies: 5

so tired replies: 7

Hello I'm new here but not new to depression replies: 3

Hello... replies: 4

Hi, I’m new here replies: 6