Everyday is the same but worse

[ImAllTalone]

I just want to write here because it's anonymous and I don't want to share my struggle with people I know

I keep making up fake scenarios of me in places where I want to be, I've always noticed I'm always in a place that isn't Australia, I've grown tired of this monotonous life that even going to a country that doesn't even speak English (e.g South Korea) had actually sounded preferable to what I'm at

It feels like I have everything I want in life and yet I'm missing so much, I have a PC, switch, and a bunch of other material stuff and yet I still feel sad, It may not apply to everyone but money genuinely did not buy me happiness as I'm always alone

I've been a shut in all my life, The internet was always an escape for me for when I was feeling terrible for getting bullied by everyone. I was, and still am sort of a stereotypical nerd asian kid. Of course it's gotten better, I've started lifting weights to feel better and it's been working, but on the inside I'm still that shut in kid, I've counted and I've been pretty much invited to 0 hangouts from Year 7 - 11

Everyday is monotonous, I wake up, go to school, come home and play videogames til I fall asleep and I want to change it. Sometimes I wish I could ask my friends to invite me without having to ask and sounding desperate

I don't want to give up and I never will however

Thanks for reading through the whole post if you're still here

[Mark Z.]

Hi,

I hear you, I do understand it's hard for you.

We're asian immigrants and we have same challenge. My son is now in year 7, he started here locally from prep but still hard to make friends till now.

My suggestion is to develop a sport that's popular in Australia, such as footy, basketball, or cirket. Outdoor sport will improve your mental health a lot, and it has social function as well. It's easier for your to join a team and make friends.

Another suggestion is to go to a church regularly, people there are super lovely and inclusive and it's an easier step for you. It'll be even better if you do some volunteering work for a church.

Hope it helps.

Mark

[ImAllTalone]

Hi, thanks for the reply

I'm not really looking to play a sport but I'm looking to get back into Taekwondo since I missed alot due to Covid

Also I don't really practice a religion, I am buddhist but it's more of a way of life

I appreciate the suggestions though as I did forget to mention I did Taekwondo

[geoff]

Hello ImAllTalone, having everything in life doesn't mean happiness because there's just something small we're missing and unfortunately, can't put our finger on what it is, because one thing may lead onto another and asked what it is, well we might tell one person one thing but something different to another.

We have a tendency to look at what makes other people happy and wonder why we can't do that ourselves, may be it involves a skill we don't possess and too hard to learn or perhaps it's our mood that has dissuaded us from doing it.

Doing Taekwondo is an objective to begin once again, but doing it at home means being alone and to achieve the best results is to do it against a different partner each time which is where any friendships can develop.

By you saying 'I don't want to give up and I never will' is because of this sport, that's the determination you need as well as may be going to the gym might begin to fill this hole.

You can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, web chat or online for support as ell as this site, so when ever you're able to get back to us that would be great.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[mmMekitty]

Hello ImAllTalone,

I just wanted to say, you can volunteer for an organisation run by a church without practising their religion.

& what if: when you are at school, & friends are talking about going somewhere, what if you piped up & said something like "Hey, that sounds great. Can I come along?"

Are you able to chat with any of these friends after school or weekends?

&might there be a group meeting outdoors, say, in a park, who are doing Taekwondo?

Good luck, & all the best for your studies.

mmMekitty

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are feeling this way. It is definitely frustrating.

It's easy to look at everyone else and feel like you aren't doing enough. But everyone feels like that, even the people who seem to have everything you want - they want more of something else...

I don't think you should be ashamed of contacting your friends first - they could also be wondering why you don't invite them somewhere first...maybe try and make an effort to organise something with one or two of them and see what happens. People generally reciprocate invites when you ask first - if they don't then you probably didn't want to be friends with them anyway.

Do you also have a school counsellor you could talk to about this?

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx

[ImAllTalone]

Hey thanks for the reply

Right now I've actually been considering doing volunteer work. I've always wanted to give something back since I've had alot of stuff given to me but the problem is I'm not exactly sure where I could volunteer as a 16 year old, Last place I checked was a soup kitchen where you had to be 18 to volunteer

Also I'll definitely try to ask to tag along more, I'm just scared I might come off as desperate since I'm pretty much known for not being very social but I'm sure it's just an irrational thought

[ImAllTalone]

Hey thanks for the reply

I think I might try to organise a few things, I actually never thought of starting hangouts first so I'll definitely try that

Also, I have a psychologist I could talk to, last time I talked to him was related to my social anxiety. I'm just not sure if I'm comfortable talking about it, though.

[Guest_1643]

Hi imallalone...

I Related to Ur post in terms of losing weight, I lost so much weight and yet still in my head I was fat....the feeling of being other follows me still

Maybe ull meet some new ppl, when u finish school, and Ur confidence will grow

Some nice spaces I met others were

Through a part time job

Through neighbours and kids in my street

Through extra curricular things like sport or language classes

It's hard to make friends, but have faith, it could be just that Ur peers at school don't get u...but there are others who will

I made my best friends outside of school

I'm older now, but I was a fellow lover at school, and understand what it feels like.

[Mark Z.]

I Imalltalone,

Taekwondo is amazing, I'd encourage you to continue. Make it as your routine, enjoy it, and you will benefit from it.

Regarding the religion, of course your choice is respected, buddhism is super helpful for you to find inner peace and you can also practise here in Australia.

Mark