Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Is it all just in my head?

replies: 8

Hello! Newbie posting for the first time. I have been struggling with anxiety for the last 12 months however it is now starting to impact my work and social life. I fear the worst. All. The. Time. I've been working with GP who wants me to try some medication however anxious about that. I am also looking for a psychologist as I know this will be beneficial but have contacted Covid this week and anxious about that too. Sone days I feel like no one is listening and I keep being told to calm down and that it's all in my head. Is it? Where's the switch to turn it off then? I've lost so many friends because no one seems to understand and I am alone and scared right now. Hoping to find some comfort in these forums. Be kind x

I just wanted to reach out...

replies: 9

Hi there, It has been a tough day but has got easier as the day went along. I was diagnosed with depression last Wednesday (I’ve had depressive episodes over the last 20 years but this is the first time I’ve been diagnosed by a psychiatrist). I have ... View more

Major depression for years

replies: 4

I am a depressed person, but I was in a relationship that makes me more depressed each day. My physical health is going down too. After 4 years, today finally I have the courage to break up this unhealthy relationship. . . but I am so scared and sad

Feel like I’m crazy

replies: 5

Hi this is my first time posting currently I’m studying again ‘Diploma of community services’ which I’m really passionate about. But I just can’t get things right. I have a complicated mental health history, having been an impatient at one time for about six months. It’s 2 years since I was unwell enough that it triggered the long stay. It was not my first one though.I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17, but that wasn’t when problems started. Probably 10 years prior at least. As a child I had stomach pains and contamination fears really took hold at about 10. At 18 I was diagnosed with major depression and at 19 Anorexia. I am so much better that I feel silly complaining. I don’t feel the depression any more, and I work all the time on my OCD, for the first time in my life I can pretty much do anything despite the OCD. But the ED, I can’t quite figure out, I was underweight and I still think about losing weight a lot, but I’m not underweight anymore, Just when I think I’m getting on top of things, then I’m not. My brain seems all over the place, sometimes it seems to physically speed up. My family can even tell that I’m sped up sometimes. I know bad eating habits don’t help, but I just feel out of control. I feel like a hypocrite studying to help people when I’m messed up.

Falling between the gaps.

replies: 5

My whole life has been an example of falling between the gaps. let us start at the beginning. I don't know too much about what happened to my dad but it must have been bad. To tell the truth, I'm too scared to ask. His list of diagnoses includes, Aspergers, depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar and more. I am pretty sure my mum has depression and something else but I don't know what. As for my siblings, I have 2 biological sisters (one with Aspergers, depression, and anxiety, the other has depression and two kids), 1 bio-bro(we used to be close), and 1 adopted brother(his bio mum was violent so he moved in with us when I was in upper primary school). He is still my brother, I only clarified so whoever reads this can have a clearer picture. In school, I was bullied for being a 'smelly' weirdo who didn't wash her hair. I was more preoccupied with hiding from my family. My education suffered. In primary school, it was easier to pretend I could read than actually learn. I would get taken out of class to do focused reading lessons but all I could think about was the fact that the other kids said that it was a lesson for dumb kids. I didn't read my first novel until high school, then I became obsessed, always had my head in a book. I needed an escape from my reality. School got harder and I fell more behind, made some poor choices in friends, eventually I realized how toxic they were. We stopped being friends, I don't feel like I can trust anyone. Counselors have betrayed my trust, friends have become bullies, issues with my dad affect relationships. When I turned 19 I had had enough, I packed my bags, grabbed my dog, and drove over 3,000kms to Perth. Last year I had a really bad month, my partner's sister had been kicked out and so she came to live with us, my grandma passed away, and I lost my job. I also can't get Centrelink because my mum refuses to sign the documentation. So here I am now, about to turn 20. Feeling alone in a new city, where making friends has been complicated by trauma, circumstance, and last but certainly not least a pandemic. Oh and to top it all off I have undiagnosed learning difficulties. Someone please help me learn how can I get better. I'm sick of falling through the gaps.

Newbie here who has tried everything else & running out of options

replies: 8

Hi everyone, I’m a 44y.o mum of three boys and have been married for 11.5 years. Feeling pretty lonely and isolated, as well as misunderstood. My husband ‘just doesn’t get it’. Diagnosed 24 years ago with depression. Also have PTSD and anxiety. Not sure what else to say as it is only an introduction post. I live in Qld, and work from home. Love to talk to others who can empathise and help with ideas to get ‘me’ back. I’ve been gone for a long time so I’ve forgotten who that is.

Still struggling with infidelity after more than 30 years

replies: 13

Just joined BB. More than thirty years ago I had two very close friends. My wife (of 12 years at the time) worked with the wife of one friend and the workmates brother was the other close friend. We spent a lot of time together working bees, Barbies etc. For us and the other couple our children were growing up together. My world was shattered when I learned that my wife had been having an affair with my unmarried friend, an affair that had been going on for >2 years. It only ended when he finally married his girlfriend and my wife “felt guilty” now he was married. For 30 years we have been trying to rebuild our marriage. My wife wants me to ‘get over it’, ‘let it go’ etc but I find it very hard. For that entire period my wife has refused to give me any details about the affair. I know why and how it started and I accept fully my role in creating the environment that produced the affair. I accept no responsibility, however, for the affair itself. She made all the choices, to start it , to continue it and to end it - I knew nothing. Her rationale has changed over the years from “I don’t remember” through “What does it matter, “Its irrelevant”, “I don’t think its useful to discuss it”. Bottom line she is in total control of the information. She knows everything and I only know what she has chosen to tell me - which is next to nothing. Whilst it has been >30 years it actually feels like the same 2 years thirty times over! In the beginning I asked and got nothing, I asked again and so it went on until I gave up and buried it. Then, some time later something would occur (eg the beginning of an affair portrayed in a TV show) and it would trigger me and I’d ask again - get nothing keep going, bury it, time would pass, something would be a trigger, then it would get dug up again - you get the picture. Here’s the thing - I still love her and want to forgive but have found it really hard to do so. Forgiveness seems like a blank cheque - I don’t know what I’m forgiving. I can’t forgive an “affair” - that’s a noun not a verb Verbs are the things you do - the behaviours, the things that require forgiveness. We don’t have seperate words for an affair lasting a week, a month or > 2 years - that did or did not involve love or lust, we use the same word for them all. I want to know, specifically, what behaviours I’m forgiving. Am I crazy??? Should I give up and leave???

Hello everyone!

replies: 3

Hey everyone! My names Brian and this is my first time posting on the forum but I do know the community is incredibly supportive and caring. I've been battling depression and anxiety since about 15 or 16. In recent times over the last couple of years my depression has been at its peak, and everyday is a challenge on its own. In a nutshell, I've always been the ultimate introvert and I've done things a little differently. I was never close with my family and my relationship with my parents is non existent these days. I began working full time at about 19, instead of going to uni, choosing to pursue music teaching and building my own business. Career wise business has never been better as last year I moved out of home for the first time, got accepted into the conservatorium of music, finally launched my website and I'm continuing to improve as a musician. However my personal life and own inner battles continue to weigh me down and I find it very difficult to relate to anyone even my girlfriend and closest mates. I hope that by sharing my story throughout this forum will help others as well, not just myself. I've been very strong on the importance of increasing mental health awareness as in integrated mental fitness heavily into my own music teaching. Thank you everyone for doing what you do! Stay strong and looking forward to chatting to you all soon!

I was a great mother

replies: 6

I wish I could just hit rewind! I have 5 children and 2 step children. All I ever wanted to be was a mum. Raising a blended family (2x2 yo & 2x4 yo) had its challenges but my husband and I worked through them and we did a fantastic job. We had a daughter together a few year later. She was such a great baby and a real charismatic toddler. I still didn’t feel like our family was complete. We decided to have one more child. Famous last words. We had twins. I wasn’t really worried about having two babies, I just thought oh well it’s just an extra nappy change and an extra feed. BOY WAS I WRONG. Having 7 kids under 9 was tough. I really struggled with the twins with very little support from anyone. My husband worked long hours and had an hour and half round trip to work and his work was physical and draining. I think that was the point when I started to feel useless and felt like I wasn’t a good mum. I won’t bore you with all the details from then to now but the twins are 11 now, and I feel like I have failed my whole family.

Old Guy Anxiety

replies: 11

Hello one and all, first time trying a forum don't really no what to expect but sometimes you just got to try, I've sold my house and moving to Tasmania but cant find a house to buy and am forced to pay an indecent amount to rent while I continue to my search. But before I leave I have been hit with severe anxiety with lot of what if questions, regrets in selling, Pets to relocate, poor sleep etc etc, My wife has a chronic illness and as such wants to move closer to our son but I am so anxious with fast heart beat, sweating, nausea and lack of sleep. So there's my brief intro I'm very stressed at the moment so sorry for rambling.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Is it all just in my head? replies: 8

I just wanted to reach out... replies: 9

Major depression for years replies: 4

Feel like I’m crazy replies: 5

Falling between the gaps. replies: 5

Newbie here who has tried everything else & running out of options replies: 8

Still struggling with infidelity after more than 30 years replies: 13

Hello everyone! replies: 3

I was a great mother replies: 6

Old Guy Anxiety replies: 11