Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 13

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Hi I'm new.... Anxiety, nervousness

replies: 11

Hi all, I've only just joined today... Umm... I'm in my 50's and it started I suppose back in 2014, started what is called a Hyptic Jerk whilst trying to get to sleep... I was and had been going through some health issues, but this Night Jerk lasted all night and in the next.. Long story cut short... Had a Sleep check done... found my poor mind was waking every 58 sec through the night. So... after all that time I have been on Depression and Anxiety medication.. it was working and although my sleep was not great the night jolts and jerks dropped off.. not all but better... If I could only stop the night jerks and jolts I'm sure my anxiety would go... but it's feeds on the sleep problems.. I stopped my meds last year, thinking that all was good.. I lasted until Xmas 2016 and the feeling of nervousness and anxiety returned.. So.. I started back on the meds... still early days and still feeling very jumpy and jittery.. and the night jerks continue... Thanks for listening all.. I do hope you all get well. Cheers.

Life is complicated

replies: 2

Hi everyone, i don’t really know how to do this, so I’m just going to type out a few things. Life definitely hadn’t been all that very kind to me in some respects and I don’t always know how to cope - I try to just get over it all like I’m always told too but sometimes that just doesn’t quite feel like enough, and it can be really difficult to wake up every morning, especially when I feel like I’m drowning and my chest is compressed with all of my stress and anxieties. Does anyone know how to help in lessening these feelings? It would be really appreciated if someone could help me out a bit here, as I find it really hard to talk to others about things I’ve gone through and typically prefer the method of smiling and laughing at my expense instead of being truthful. sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe, and it used to be so bad that panic attacks were something I had gotten used to, as a preteen. im sorry for offloading all of this on here, but I really hope someone can give me some advice as the usual being exercise and meditation don’t quite work for me. thank you for reading all of this, if you did. I’m sorry again and thanks for letting me talk about this small part of my issue on here. I appreciate being able to vent.

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on December

replies: 7

Hi Everyone We’d like to wish everyone a happy new year! Here we reflect on December, including the year that was, 2020. We recognise everyone’s strength in staying connected/reaching our for support during a year that many have described as uncertain, turbulent, as well as simply exhausting. It's ok to be feeling anxious and or other unsettling feelings after such a challenging year. Looking at the year ahead, we look forward to people making new connections here on the forums, welcome those who have just joined us, and thank all members who continue to be available to support the forum's community and remind others that they are not alone in their experiences. Community Voices: What are people talking about? Coping with anxiety – excessive worry I’ve has this kind of issue for about 7 years now where I don’t really have hobbies or a wide range of interests because I focus in on one thing, especially something that I’m worried about. In a weird way I find it interesting trying to solve the things I’m worried about but really... I’d rather just be interested in other things.. - Anon285 (Read more here) as the title says; my mind works in loops. When I am trying to find a solution to a problem, it is brilliant because my mind just keeps attacking the problem from different angles, turning it over, until it finds a solution. However, the down side is, it can cause problems. - Weaponsofmassdisstortion (Read more here) i have been living with anxiety for nearly 20 years. Worrying constantly about things that in the scheme of things are not that important. Getting to a stage now where my wording has just made me feel tired inside. I’m completely exhausted and out of energy. - Josh37 (Read more here) Navigating my thoughts and feelings I think I'm typing this to try to work out myself, what it is I am feeling whether it's anxiety or depression, or both. For some time now, I have been feeling very low. I would say it probably started 5 years ago when my marriage broke up but how I'm feeling now is much worse than at the time. - Loner567 (Read more here) I have been having such a mixture of emotions for a long time and it’s getting harder to navigate. I have found I get extremely irritable at a drop of a hat and I can’t let it go, my once empathetic self is becoming lost. Once I am angry or down I can’t pull myself out of this feeling, I tend to go through really high high’s like I am happy with how everything is going and really low low’s like I’m not where I need to be and play the victim internally. - Rainbow1234 (Read more here) i’ve never reached out like this before, but i’m too scared to go to the doctor because i always think i’m overreacting. i’ve grown up in a family where i’ve learnt to just get up and move on, and i’m not one to share my feelings. i just don’t know what i’m feeling. when i was younger i did have anxiety, but i’ve overcome most of that and working through it. i can’t tell if i’m just experiencing a strain of anxiety again because i’ve never felt this way before. - Discodahlia (Read more here) 'Fitting in'/Finding it difficult to connect with others Something that has been on my mind during my teenage years and early adulthood is the notion that I do not 'fit in'. I like who I am but I am so afraid that other people will not like me that I don't show my true self and struggle to open up. I feel like I am living a completely different life than what I should be living right now, like everybody else has been given a memo on how to live their early 20s but I never received it. - Wanderlust123 (Read more here) Honestly don't know where to start or how to express what I'm feeling. I've lived a reserved life for most of my adulthood. I am currently 28yo. I feel like I don't fit in anymore with the crowd of people, especially my age. I never had a social media account because I didn't want to be part of it. When I grew up I was suppressed of technology so I was always that kid who didn't get to chat online with friends or have an Xbox to play with, I was considered a boring person and was very isolated. - Mr A (Read more here) I recently changed schools and pretty much everyone in my class are a huge friendship group that constantly go out together and ignore me/leave me out of everything and it's really made me question my worth/capabilities of making friends. At the beginning of the year people were throwing parties with older teens, drinking and that really scared me because I didn't know anyone well enough, and then basically I got left out forever for not going to the party, I am completely disconnected. - GirlWithBigDreams (Read more here) Valued Contributor Award Our Valued Contributor for the month of December is monkey_magic! monkey_magic has been nominated for often checking in on other members across the forums, sparking new conversations, and empowering others to share their own journey! Thank you monkey_magic! To read more about what a Valued Contributor is and how you can nominate a fellow community member, please refer to our thread Nominate a Valued Contributor here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support BB News/Resources Beyond Blue’s Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service continues to be regularly updated with information and resources on ways to manage your mental health and wellbeing during this time. The most recently added content is below: Under the Family life sub-category you can find the below pages: How to recognise anxiety in your child How to support your child’s wellbeing with mindfulness Managing your child’s transition back to school Mental health and the mental load How to support new parents Reconnecting with your teenager – Samantha’s story Under the Supporting personal wellbeing sub-category you can find the below pages: Managing social anxiety as we adapt to COVID-normal life How much worry is too much worry? Tips for getting a good night's sleep Why you should do something for yourself everyday Suicide safety planning Facemasks and you: how to navigate what you’re feeling Managing your alcohol intake

BORN INTO TOXIC DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY (1960s)

replies: 1

My story is too long to mention every single event, too many chapters. Born to emotionally and abusive strict authoritarian parents, i was the youngest child. My father, who inflicted the physical abuse, and an enabling mother who i think deep down enjoyed the drama. My siblings always triangulated with the parents, i was made the scapegoat for my own parents deep issues. To my mother, it was all about putting her selfish husband,s happiness first, at the expense of mine. I spent my life walking on egg shells around him, and when he was drinking his alcohol, it was a absolute nightmare. But still today , they all remain defensive, and the sibling triangulation still there. I,m interested in others on this forum, who have experienced this type of upbringing especially in 1960s 70s and how you have coped, and suggestions to share with me would be appreciated thanks.

hi

replies: 2

hi I dont know if I'm doing this right. But I just joined tonight - and I really just want to let things off my chest. I'm struggling with depression and my family. Feel like I can't do anything to help it. I have been to psychologists and everything... View more

Step-parenting and unresponsive spouse

replies: 2

Hi, I am currently in a relationship with my partner of 4 years and as of Jan 2020 his 2 kids from a previous relationship had decided they wanted to live with us, and my biological 4yr old son. Their decision. Backstory...Their biological mother is a heroine addict and very neglecting. Recently from the approval from their father, they have been able to spend time with their mother through DCP arranged and supervised visits. That's when the 11yrold girl has started acting out towards me. Saying very abusive curse words and lashing out. But only towards me. When her father is there though, nothing. Not a peep from her. We get along really well usually. But as soon as he leaves all she'll break loose with no prompting from myself or the other two boys. I have been told by my partners 12yr old boy, that his mother is behind it but I don't know if I believe that or not I'm not sure. She is violent towards my 4yr old. She writes disturbing letters of hatred to me and leaves them around so ill find them. She also tells me I've said horrible things towards her mother, which I have not, and throws things. If anyone is called to help me, ie grandparents, she plays victim and lies to them that I started it. I just want her to like me, and it's getting so hard, me and my partner have thought about separating. Its all recent behaviour. I know she is sad and confused, but she made the decision that living with her mum was toxic and also dangerous for them. I would like some insight into why she is lashing out at me and my son, and no one else.

This is my story.....

replies: 40

Hi everyone, For the past 34 months, my twinsister and I have endured a turbulent ride through life. We have faced tragic and traumatic events that have sadly fractured our relationship as twinsisters. The tragic passings of our late mother in Nov 2017 and much loved senior furbaby in Dec 2019 were heartbreaking and triggered the grief cycle. The stressful sale of our family home in Oct 2018 and our displacement due to not finding a new home to buy in Sydney. Being forced to live in temporary places of accommodation and rentals for the past 24months. This triggered our anxiety. The neighbourhood conflict we fell victim to due to toxic neighbours who racially targeted our family and home for 8years. This left us traumatised. We are also experiencing pre menopausal symptoms due to our age. My symptoms are mild, but my twinsister's symptoms are intense and trigger monthly emotional meltdowns/psychotic episodes. This has also triggered insomnia/sleeplessness. The COVID19 pandemic has contributed to our loss of employment, but we are fortunate to have funds to cover all personal and living expenses. It's obvious that our central nervous system and mental health have been negatively impacted by past events. Our battles with anxiety, depression and emotional stress are ongoing and have been triggered by: - Grief, displacement, pre menopause, trauma and unemployment. I'm the planner, problem solver and project manager. Assiming these roles and taking the lead has resulted in our survival thus far. However, I have ongoing struggles with my twjnsister due to her negative attitude, behaviour and mindset. As she uses me as an emotional scapegoat, which I believe is toxic to our relationship. I understand that we all have different coping mechanisms to deal with grief, stress and trauma, but my twinsister is really testing my patience and tolerance. Neither of us are taking medication, as we prefer natural supplements. We also listen to music, indulge in chocolate, watch comedic shows and heartwarming movies. But I also chat to people, draw/sketch, go on daily walks, pick flowers and do photography (food and floral) to keep me sain. However, my twinsister's reluctance to go on daily walks and chat to people have further aggravated her mental health and struggles with insomnia/sleepleesness. Please help. as we both feel alone and isolated. I also want my twinsister and I to end 2020 on a calmer and happier note. Kind regards.

Wits end

replies: 2

Everything about my life sucks. My family is dysfunctional and abusive, I was bullied at school, I've been bullied and fired from most jobs, so I'm now turning 40 completely unemployable and broke, I've spent most of my life in abusive relationships, the latest one is worse than the last. I get bullied by him but also his friends and family about my appearance, hygeine, sexuality, everything. Last night on Xmas Eve was the first time I've been out since I got fired last time , because I started working out because I was getting bullied about my weight, which increases after abusive relationships. I got invited to sit with a group of guys and they were drunk and really cruel to me, making fun of me then one exposed himself to me. I'm at wits end.

What happening to my mind.

replies: 2

For many years now Ive never know why I have no memory of my childhood from 6 up to the age of around 14 probably. I’ve always looked at the good side of people and tried to make the best out of things but I didn’t have the best upbringing with my parents divorcing at 5Yrs old ,a lot of alcohol ,drunkenness, marijuana , being pretty poor, not keeping in contact with my dad , but always had a roof over my head and didn’t starve, But my mum was preoccupied with her new husband and I was left to figure out life with little guidance from a young age. I can’t remember anything stories my sisters talk about and nothing except what I’ve been told. Recently my stepsister has told us out about One of her family members ( so my step family) and a close family friend had sex with her when she was 9 and they were around 14/15. Now all the sudden I’m getting these what I’m calling “clips” of certain senarios / a house / in a car / a hallway which make me feel kind of sick or uncomfortable I’m my stomach. They seem to just loop the same clip over and over. After a couple of weeks and a couple of conversations I’ve now worked out these “clips” involve the same family member and the family friend she has said molested her. My “clips” only take me to a certain point then stop at the same spot every time and won’t let me see what happenes next or why I am feel so uncomfortable. Is it just my mind just trying to figure out if I was also a target or is it playing tricks on me because I know it happened to her or am I just worried it’s possible cause I dont remember and going through all the times I spent with these people to try and remember now that My step sister has said it happened to her. My step sister is 1 yr older then me and it happened when she was 9. So I was 8 im 34 now and this would of being 20yrs ago , I’m sure I would of known something by now if anything happened to me also or had a feeling before she said anything. im going crazy With these clips and feel embarrassed to say anything because i have no actual memories of this time or anything bad happening. i don’t want to talk to my family until I know for sure incase it’s all in my head! I have no idea how to stop these 4 clips and don’t want to talk to my family. I’m sorry this is so much but I have no where Else to turn to figure this out right now and it’s driving me nuts. Any ideas ? Thanks in advance

Returning

replies: 22

Hi, Ive come back to BB as feeling so low. Struggling with daily tasks. There have been a lot of major difficulties in my family, which although ok atm are ongoing. Its hard to get up in the morning. Ive tried counselling and medications. Now trying remedial massage, accupuncture and self help, including exercise. Tough year 2020 and Im reaching out to hopefully get some ideas and motivation. New year tomorow it mustbe better...

Meet your community champions! replies: 13

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Hi I'm new.... Anxiety, nervousness replies: 11

Life is complicated replies: 2

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on December replies: 7

BORN INTO TOXIC DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY (1960s) replies: 1

hi replies: 2

Step-parenting and unresponsive spouse replies: 2

This is my story..... replies: 40

Wits end replies: 2

What happening to my mind. replies: 2

Returning replies: 22