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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Newbie on the block

replies: 4

Hi everyone, I'm Tom, and kind of new here, though I've been 'registered' here for about five years. I thought that I had posted before, but it appears not. Life has been a challenge from the beginning and I'm now really the closest I've been to knowing myself and being okay with me as a person, and my lived experience. I'm a mid-40's dad and husband, married for more than half of my life. I've been studying for the past 10 years and still going. As for mental health, I was diagnosed some yeas ago with a Major Depressive Disorder, Dysthymia, a mild OCD, and PTSD. I was sexually abused for over 14 years and into adulthood growing up in a dysfunctional and sometimes violent family with whom I have zero contact. I am also a gay man and was subjected to conversion therapy (Not a legitimate or ethical therapy) aka "Pray the Gay Away." Being a gay man and married to a woman has been hard, and seems to get harder the more comfortable I become in my identity. In terms of career/vocation, I spent a number of years in the public sector and State Government. I've been involved in 'people helping' for many years having facilitated 12-Step Recovery groups (similar to AA or NA), peer support work and also working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse which has been such beautiful and rewarding work for me. Since 2010, I obtained a Bachelor of Theology and was drawn to spirituality and contemplative practice, but it was counselling that drew me most, and I now work as a counsellor, psychotherapist and art therapist. I'm also involved in facilitating men's work and equiping men with tools and skills to more authentically live their preferred life. And I really love what I do! Outside of 'work' I enjoy architecture, film, music, photography, poetry and Lego. It's been a very long journey (and it's not over yet) to get to where I am now and I've learnt a lot along the way and I really enjoy being able to share of my own experience and coming along side others to share the road. Probably the hardest thing to learn has been my own worth, and I'm still going on that one. But it has been worth it, and I'm learning how to embrace who I am, all of me, wobbly bits and all, and offer myself to the world - scary as that is at times. I look forward to getting to know you too

IS HE A NARCISSIST? (1st Post)

replies: 3

Hello I recently met a man on Facebook I bonded with through our shared struggles with mental health. Our relationship quickly blossomed. The conversation was flowing so freely that we were on Messenger for hours every day, we have so much in common and I thought I'd found my 'person'. I have trouble dating irl because I suffer from depression and anxiety, as does he. He lives in America and I am in Australia, and we discussed meeting in the future if all continues to go well. Three days ago, he shut me out because I asked him a question about his living situation and he got upset. He has told me that he avoids confrontation, and that also, when he begins to develop feelings for a woman, he will sabotage the relationship as a defence mechanism because he doesn't feel that he is good enough to love. I thought I was willing to try to be with someone who has mental health issues , because I struggle with 'normal' people, as they cannot understand what i go through. I'm confused about how to recognise mental health issues, avoiding strategies etc, compared to Narcissism; and also, if it is possible to be in a relationship with a Narcissist without being destroyed completely. I have never met anyone like this man, and I'm not ready to let go - but I'm not sure, also, if my own isolation, depression and low sense of self-worth have lead me to a point where I simply have no standards. Please help.

First post - ME

replies: 3

Hi, this is my first time posting on beyond blue and hoping to connect with other ME people. I've been struggling with debilitating fatigue and pain to name a few major symptoms for the last 3.5 yrs. I had already wound down my excercise regime to accomodate for a lack of energy and after moving house back in 2014 I decided to go to a part time job as I was having to take uncharacteristic days off for sick leave and my Manager was riding me hard for taking days off so I got a part time job with nice people and all seemed fine. Just after I'd started my new job my Father got stage IV bowel cancer and was told he only had a few months to live so with my new part time job I was able to support and see him a lot which was great. On the home front though I was starting to struggle physically and with 2 young kids it was getting harder and harder and meanwhile my Fathers cancer came back after a round of chemo but he has beaten it 2 more times now with surgery and chemo therapy. About 3 yrs ago I just couldn't make it to work anymore and had to quit. I felt embarrassed to tell people about my condition so I didn't really talk about it and tried to appear normal. Unfortunately about this time last year my young daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumour and it was big so had to be operated on quickly, I just remember being absolutely devasted when we were told and then the dread and fear so close to the diagnosis of her operation was all encompassing and overwhelming. She survived the op but not without consequences and is still getting regular big doses of chemo as its was a rare and aggressive type of tumour that was removed. The hospital visits are horrendous as I struggled with my energy before all of this but now a lot of the weight falls onto my wife's shoulders for the major care of her as it doesn't take long before I'm on the couch or can't get out of bed due to the pain and fatigue. I hate myself for this and try my hardest to be there for my daughter every moment as this time is so prescious. This is the first time I've really spoken about my situation, as its just been to painful and I've isolated myself from friends and family as I haven't been able to face people and talk about it about my daughter or my health. I have an excellent Dr that has been there for me but that's only every few months when I'm able to go see home and try some sort of new protocol to treat my pain and fatigue with only little results. I am trying to be positive. Shakin

a Bad depression

replies: 1

I'm so depressed I don't know what to do. I have had this feeling for the last couple of weeks. One moment my medication was working then out of the blue it stopped. I have had depression on and off for about 10 years, but have never experienced anything as bad as this. I'm married, pushing 70 and I feel like I'm falling apart. My health is still good and I feel like I still have a few years to go yet. I have talked to my GP but her response is to give up any alcohol and join a gym. Joining a gym, I have been told that it helps heaps, but it's just pushing myself to do it is my problem. I fell so bad. The bad feeling is 24/7, full, with no breaks. Everything I think of is so negative. I'm finding that everything I try to do is a major effect. I don't know anyone where I'm living at present, so there is no one I can talk to. I'm going to go to a psychologist.and do some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, so I'm hoping that will help But this feeling is so bad, it has me scared. I don't know how long I can go. I don't know what to do!

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on September

replies: 0

Hi everyone, We continue to be impressed by your efforts in nurturing supportive and empowering conversations within our community. While every member’s journey is unique, we hope all users can connect with elements of others’ stories and feel supported through times of distress and of wellness. For anyone needing more immediate support than the forums can offer please get in touch with our Support Service where a professional mental health counsellor can provide counselling support, information and referrals – they are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support for online chat (3pm-midnight AEDT) and email (responses within 24 hours). Community Voices: What are people talking about? Coping with grief The world keeps turning & people are starting to get back into things but my world has stopped. We have a 6 year old who is low functioning Autistic who keeps pointing to pictures of Dad wondering where he is. I talk about him & try to explain as much as I can.-Kezza2002 (Read more here) I went down the street this morning to get a coffee and I saw a lovely mum playing with her toddler after probably dropping some of her other kids at school. The beautiful little kid was reaching out to their parent and it reminded me of how much things used to be like that with my kids. I am so sad. I don't know what to do with this sadness. Maybe it's mine forever. - AndiSolo (Read more here) I lost my beautiful Mum 9 weeks ago...loosing a parent is something no one can ever prepare you for...this year has been such a tough year, first coronavirus, I lost my job, moved from Brisbane to Canberra in June to be with my partner, just before loosing my Mum, now I’ve started a new full time job and I find myself struggling to deal with it all...one minute I’m OK, the next I feel completely overwhelmed, lost, lonely and sad - mjwa1984 (Read more here) Challenges at Work I’m struggling really badly with anxiety at the moment and I can’t tell if my job is causing the anxiety, or my anxiety is making me think it’s my job. Juliet_84 (Read more here) I constantly feel inadequate at work. I feel like my co_workers are better than me.It does take time for me to learn new things...and l am slow. I try my best. I am constantly worried about making mistakes. I just wish l could feel equal to my collegues. Leeroyo1 (Read more here) Over the past 3 months I have been struggling with my mental health, resulting in constant low performance at work. I fear that I will soon be asked to resign or fired due to this. Kay-la-la (Read more here) Struggling as a new mum I’ve always had a bit of anxiety for as long as I could remember, but after becoming a mum it’s a whole new ball game, I cannot stop worrying about his safety, his health, my health, if I’m feeding him enough, if I’m doing the right thing. I constantly obsess over the smallest things. I can’t enjoy fun times as a family as I am constantly worrying that things will turn bad. I need to get better for my family Clo94 (Read more here) My baby is 2 weeks old, and while I love her, i hate the new mum life. I was massively under prepared. I feel like I cannot deal with the no sleep, I hate her screaming and and me not knowing what she wants, i hate that i dont have time to do even the basics, eg shower, clean house Sarah89 (Read more here) So I finally welcomed my newborn almost 4 weeks ago ,it's been a hard slog with some postnatal depression but found myself not being able to fall asleep during the day when the baby is sleeping with the result being just 2 -3 hours in the early evening,Ive tried sound therapy, supplements,juices,eye masks,teas,wine.Now it just seems when I try to fall asleep I become hyper anxious . Angienewmum (Read more here) Valued Contributor Award Our Valued Contributor for the month of September is ‘Tranzcrybe’! Tranzcrybe has been nominated for their comforting, supportive, and thoughtful posts across the community. Thank you Tranzcrybe! To read more about what a Valued Contributor is and how you can nominate a fellow community member, please refer to our thread Nominate a Valued Contributor here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/nominate-a-valued-contributor-here Community Champions Please extend a warm welcome to our newest Community Champion volunteer SarahZ! To read more about our volunteers, feel free to have a look at our thread ‘Introducing...the community champions’: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/community-champions BB News Beyond Blue has developed a guide to help you support the small business owners you know or work with. Download the ‘Supporting small business owners’ guide here or visit the Heads Up website for more information! There's also a new 'Languages other than English' page on the Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service site which provides links to in-language information and an animation. At the moment our content has been translated to the following languages: Looking after your mental health (Punjabi - ਪੰਜਾਬੀ) Looking after your mental health (Vietnamese - Tiếng Việt) Looking after your mental health (Arabic - اَلْعَرَبِيَّة) Looking after your mental health (Chinese Simplified - 简化字)

I don't know what to say...

replies: 2

I don't know why I'm bothering here I hate talking about myself especially if it brings attention i feel as if whatever I say Whats the point when the world is suffering why should I even say a friggen word I guess anonymously its ok? Or maybe not anonymous as such. Maybe im sick, i dont ever feel ok. Because I am literally, actually in real life Worthless, useless, tired all the friggen time and just purely over waking up Every friggen morning. I don't even know why. Im tired of trying to figure out why? Going back and reading this makes me want to give an explanation as to Why all the above seems so........ just dumb, but im not deleting anything In hopes someone knows what questions to ask to get this out of me Because im losing everyone i love the most, well lost probably and im trying really hard. I feel as if my sister is going through something similar. I dont really know What to say or where to start but im hoping this is enough.

First post from another stressed uni student. Hello!

replies: 2

Hello everyone! I debated posting here since I get anxious about putting myself out there, as anonymous as this forum is. But I have a lot in my mind and I need to pour it out somewhere. So here I am! I'm a uni student in my second year, and as you can imagine, it hasn't been a great second year. I haven't been submitting assignments, barely going to online classes, barely able to concentrate--now I'll have to be held back another year to be able to graduate, and paired with my parents' expectations, it's a little too much for me. I'm undiagnosed with anything, but that's only because I don't have the independence to--especially from my parents who feel 'everyone goes through anxiety', even though I feel mine is much more severe than normal. But I guess that's because I always try to not show it. I don't want to make my parents worry for their only child. But upon years of research, I suspect I may have depression, GAD and ADHD--a truly awful combo for my brain and my productivity! But I can't really know for sure until I get professionally diagnosed. (I have been experiencing ADHD symptoms since I was a child [a "creative brain", my dad says] though, and mental health issues since year 10...) I just realised this makes my parents look bad--they do mean the world to me. They just don't really understand, I guess. And I'm scared they'll overreact once they do and make me feel worse. (I'm also part of the LGBT community and I'm not out, but that's a whole different ballpark...) I feel I've rambled too much, so I'll stop here. Overall, haven't been doing great. But I'm glad I found this forum to let it out. I'll be around to give support to everyone too! Let's stay strong, especially during these circumstances!

Can there be a mind too full?

replies: 5

Hi, I took up mindfullness a few years ago and believe that it has helped me overcome anxiety. However, I now feel too mindful of my surroundings and internal feelings that I am too stimulated and its impacting my ability to think properly. It is also having a negative impact on my feelings. So here I am seeking to be more balanced. Perhaps others with similar experience can share how they got balanced qnd maybe direct me in the right direction Thanks in advance Mind2Full

First Thread - Feelings of emptiness or darkness

replies: 9

Hello members of Beyond Blue! My name is Chris. I’ve had quite a bit of experience in dealing with anxiety and depression. Tough times happen for everyone, and you never have to go through that alone. It can feel so dark at times, (I’ve certainly felt it) but by no means are you weak for feeling like that. It’s important to understand that these feelings are natural, and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It’s important to be serious about your welfare, but there are tough times to get through, it can be just part of life. But you can certainly reduce your bad feelings dramatically if you’re willing to be open to change. Sometimes it only takes small changes to make all the difference. I’ve had times where I’ve felt that nothing would help me feel better, but overtime I’ve learnt to monitor and gauge what’s really happening in my brain. I have a much better grasp on my emotions now than I have in the past. Awareness to how the brain works has been very helpful for me. I have an open outlook on life and am very in touch with my passions. I understand that every individual’s life experience can differ a great deal and you may feel all alone, but the truth is, you’re not the only one. There are many others out there who feel the same. Even people you’d least suspect. So feel free to reach out. But remember there’s no pressure to share anything if you don’t want to. If you’ve reached out even at all, that’s a great first step to take. Well done to you if you have reached out recently. I’ll be here if anyone needs help.

Alone & Lonely

replies: 7

Gosh, this is so hard. Depression, bipolar & anxiety have been a part of my life for over 30 years. I'm now 45 & although I have a great job, wonderful family & a nice place to live, I have never felt more lonely than I do right now. I've never married or had children; my mental illnesses have certainly contributed to that. I don't want to be alone, but I also can't imagine someone wanting & able to be with me with all my 'baggage'. I feel like the Black Dog & his friends have taken away any chance for me to have a 'normal' life/relationship & now I'm angry & overwhelmingly sad that time has passed & it's too late. I've never asked for much, just a simple, quiet life with someone beside me that loves & accepts me for who I am. It hurts.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Newbie on the block replies: 4

IS HE A NARCISSIST? (1st Post) replies: 3

First post - ME replies: 3

a Bad depression replies: 1

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on September replies: 0

I don't know what to say... replies: 2

First post from another stressed uni student. Hello! replies: 2

Can there be a mind too full? replies: 5

First Thread - Feelings of emptiness or darkness replies: 9

Alone & Lonely replies: 7