Another BB newbie climbs aboard

[ToXii]

Greetings! I only recently became aware of these forums & decided to reach out & give it a chance cos right now I feel like I cant cope much longer. Im almost 47yrs old and have lived with darkness, pain & sorrow most of those years. Sometimes I look back and am shocked I am actually still here. I grew up in a family that believed "what happens in the home stays in the home" & that mental illness was just hypocondriasis and you needed to get "over yourself". My family never listened to me or cared enough to take me seriously. I was considered "the black sheep" & told on many occasions how disappointing I was. I have always found it hard to make, and keep, friends and find it especially hard to trust anyone. My Mum used to tell me not to talk to people about my "issues" as no-one actually cared & it would not reflect well on me, so over the years I suffered in silence, keeping everything to myself & getting worse as a result. So why am I kind of talking now? I'm tired - tired of hiding away, tired of what keeping all the darkness & pain shut away is doing to me physically, emotionally & mentally. I'm scared of where I could be headed so decided to take this first step, albeit a small one. I am hoping it will have a domino effect & let me find the strength to seek the help I know I so desperately need.

[Fairywings]

Hello there lovely and welcome so glad you have joined us we are a great bunch. We r all here to support you thru ur difficult times. I'm sorry u r feeling so alone right now but ur not u have us. I understand totally bc it was like too in my family and I was also seen as the little black sheep i still am to some degree. Bc of my mental illness my parents and partner at that time in my life tried to have me locked away so i definitely knows what it feels like not to have much support around xx u would be tired so tired in fact i think u should start writing a journal and get all of your feelings out its better than keeping inside. I already can c u have the inner strength to keep going bc u r here with us today and from this point onwards it is only going to get easier for you. If u don't mind mec asking have u seen or are you seeing a psychologist at all i think this would be really good for you just to be able to have someone u can chat to. You have us here and also the bb hotline if things become too much the online counselors r there and available for you. You have definitely taken the first step and im so very proud of you for doing so u will be highly supported by this beautiful bunch of people. Pls feel free to head on into the bb cafe and grab a coffee and have a chat take care please come back to us xx Venessa 😊

[White_Rose]

Dear ToXii

Hello. Welcome to the BB forum and for trusting us with your story. I am so sorry you have been forced into such a life. It's true that 40 years ago there was a huge stigma attached to people with a mental illness, but I find it hard that your family made no attempt to help you. "Getting over it and Pulling yourself together" are words that have been used in the past, but I believe we are getting past that now. Having this public and open forum where many people post and find comfort is proof of that.

You have been living with pain for a long time and I want to help you find a better life. You have already taken the first step by writing in here. Congratulations. The next step is to see your GP and tell him/her your story. You can copy and print your comments above and take them with you. It will be an easier way to lead into the conversation about your depression. Your GP will be able to help you by arranging times to talk to you, perhaps giving you medication, although is not always necessary, and possibly referring you to a good therapist.

Something else you can do is to browse this site and read the information on depression and anxiety. It's always here but you can download it your own computer or ask for hard copies to be sent to you. It makes a huge difference to be well informed about your condition.

Here are some phone numbers for when you feel very desperate. Beyond Blue has a 24/7 phone line 1300 22 4636 or you can chat online in real time. Scroll down and click on the Chat tab. You can also phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 which is available 24/7. You can check out the SANE web site on https://www.sane.org/get-help They have a 24/7 phone line 1800 18 7263 And there is the Suicide Call Back phone, again 24/7, 1300 659 467 This is also a counselling service for people in urgent need of help.

So lots of places you can get help in an emergency if you feel unsafe. I hope you will make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible. I believe you can get great help there.

In the meantime, have a look at other threads here. It's amazing how much people help and support each other. You will probably find comments made by others to be most helpful to you.

Please write in again and tell us how you are going.

Mary

[ToXii]

TY! I look forward to popping in there some time soon. Embarrassed to say I get extremely scared around new people but rest assured I will venture in there one day!

[ToXii]

TY for the welcome & sharing all those suggestions. Its good to know I am not alone. Oh I know others battle the same issues I do but its kind of like looking for lyrebirds - you know they are out there but hard as hell to find lol I look forward to my journey within this forum!

[White_Rose]

I hope I am as good looking as a lyre bird, but not as hard to find. Yes it does feel good to talk to others who have experienced the same or similar difficulties. We are here to walk with you for as long as you need.

Thanks the reply. What else can we do for you? Please keep posting.

Mary

[Fairywings]

Would love to c u in there can get a bit crazy trying to keep up with it all lol but we all help eachother out 😘😘