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Therapist breakup - should I or shouldn’t I?
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Hi there
I can understand this would be really upsetting for you. You’ve built up a good relationship and made positive progress together, and now there’s been a change that’s unsettled that. Your feelings are valid. It’s also understandable that your therapist’s situation has changed and she’s had to make some decisions for her own financial well-being.
I have previously been in a similar situation as yours, and decided to find someone else. It’s a big decision and you really need to weigh up what will work best for you. It’s ok to move on if that’s what you feel is best, you have no obligations to your therapist.
Take care. Katy
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Hi Starburst10
Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your concerns about your therapist.
It’s sad that your current therapist’s new business arrangements don’t meet your needs. I can certainly understand why you wish it wasn’t so. Sounds like you two did good work together and achieved a lot (congratulations).
However, your concerns are valid and I can understand your unease about continuing with her. The vast majority of people would have a hard time adhering to her terms and conditions without going into debt. A week’s notice for a cancellation is unreasonable, in my opinion.
From my experience, it might take time to find a new one who is the right fit. Particularly, as most therapists are stretched trying to meet demand in our Covid world. But it can be done.
Perhaps you could keep your options open by putting yourself on the wait list, whilst looking elsewhere for a new therapist.
This will give you some time to see how it goes with your current therapist. It might be that other patients are also concerned about her new T&Cs and it won’t be hard to get an appointment. Or that things may change again.
Kind thoughts to you
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Hello Starburst, and a warm welcome to the site.
Your situation definitely reminds me of a surgeon I had to see and his attitude was if you want to see me then you have to pay the extra money, very similar to what your psych has said, and just because she has had a baby, which I congratulate her undoubtedly, doesn't mean she's the best psychologist who can help you so if her rules don't oblige you, then you need to find someone who is more accommodating.
I understand she has a new baby and if she wants to go back to work under these circumstances, then watching the clock in a session is not providing you with the ability to help you with all her training, her mind is elsewhere and not focused on why you're there.
She may have provided you with all the help required before the baby was born, and that makes you feel good, but now she's only working for the money, sure we all work to pay the bills, but your mind is focused on doing your very best, but as you're not happy then therapy is like pushing a wheelbarrow uphill and time to move on.
The psychologist I had been seeing for about 20 years (WorkCover) suddenly upped and left without even telling me and that was disappointing, let alone heartbreaking, only because she had helped me so much, so I know how you feel, but remember you have to feel comfortable when talking to your psychologist, otherwise it's a waste of time.
Hope you can get back to us.
Geoff.