Struggling to connect/finding the right help..

Sunflowerrs · ‎13-04-2017

I don't know if it's me or my psychologist, i feel like I'm not connecting with her. i feel really uncomfortable, and she feels really clinical.. I think I want to talk to someone really warm and empathetic.. The last time I couldnt speak I just sat in tears, and literally tried moving my mouth to make words come out, and couldnt. Thankfully she didnt make me, but I can tell shes getting frustrated.. A part of me really doesnt trust her at all. But I don't know how to find a psychologist I trust, I'm scared the only answer I'll get is trial and error 😞

also I'm scared that im getting really tired of finding help and reaching out, it gets exhausting, and so discouraging when another avenue isn't helping. I can't help but feel hurt that I'm still trying to find someone who can help me. its really breaking me up inside, is this normal? to go on a journey to find the right kind of help..

SubduedBlues · ‎14-04-2017

Hi Sunflowers

Having a connection, or at least feeling comfortable, with the person who is helping you work through stuff is really important (or at least I think it is). Unless you are in a small town, where you have a choice of 1, I don't think there is any mandate that you cannot change to someone new. So I would suggest that you shop around until you find someone whom your are comfortable talking to; and if there is a connection, even better.

SB

JessF · ‎18-04-2017

Changing to another therapist is always an option you can explore. If you feel her approach is too clinical, then it might be worth looking into types of therapy that have a more person-centred approach, and then search for psychologists who practice that type of therapy.

That said, it's not uncommon to feel uncomfortable in therapy in my experience. It could be worth you exploring with your psychologist *why* you are feeling this way. If trust is something you find difficult to give, then this problem may recur with the next therapist, and it's probably an issue you need to clear from the deck first before proceeding further.