Let Down by My Psychologist

[CoffeeSnob]

I was just hoping to get another perspective on this - I honestly don't know what to do about it.

Up until January I was seeing a psychologist at a trauma service, for work-related PTSD and depression. For some time I had felt that I had become too dependent on her, which I raised with her more than once. I actually asked for a break from therapy, twice, but she talked me out of it each time and we continued on with weekly sessions. Anyway, the day of my last appointment, I found that I just wasn't up to it and that was it. I stopped sessions altogether. But I pretty well misjudged my own condition and as no discharge plan had been put in place, I suffered accordingly. I've had ongoing problems with depression and anxiety since then.

I had no follow up, not even a "how are you going?" phone call, so I emailed my former psychologist in early May to express my disappointment. She couldn't have come across as less interested. She told me she would pass my feedback to her supervisor, but I've heard nothing since then. This was six weeks ago.

I feel extremely let down. I was a client there for 12 months, but once I left it was like I no longer existed. This was not what I was expecting, at all. I put everything into therapy and trusted my psychologist completely. The complete lack of interest, care and concern shown by her in return has been devastating.

I'm having a hard time, but the last thing I want to do now is engage with another psychologist.

Is this how things normally work in the mental health system?

[CoffeeSnob]

Hello Tim,

That does make sense about the finger trap. I would hope CA was given the same explanation - otherwise it may seem like rather a random gift.

The weekly sessions were beneficial, but my problem was I had become too attached and I knew it was going to difficult when it came time to stop therapy. I actually talked to my former psychologist about it months before I left and told her my concerns. As it turned out, I went from weekly sessions to nothing and it was extremely difficult. I think it would have helped me to gradually decrease the frequency of sessions before stopping completely.

Have learnt my lesson.

[clownartist]

Hello CoffeeSnob,

I completely concur with you in many regards.The chinese finger trap did seem like a random parting gift.I realise my psychologist was sort of making an attempt,but unfortunately some people are completely unsuited to counselling.It is a difficult process,therapy feels like emptying your handbag onto the table and having someone else go thru it who gives a damn but not too much to go thru it.I also agree to go from weekly sessions to nothing is difficult same happened to me.The question I keeping coming back to is What do you hope to achieve from your sessions?A sympathetic ear concern for your welfare and perhaps constructive criticism on how to move forward .It is very difficult dealing with the human mind Cheers CA

[White_Rose]

Hello Karen

So sorry to read about your interactions with the psychologist. What an unprofessional way to act.

You said, Duty of care , seems to only exist to paying customers... She must have been paid by someone. Were you on a mental health plan? Not that it is an excuse for treating you in this manner, it really is the pits. Are there any psychiatrists in your town or near enough to drive? You will get a rebate from Medicare every time you see a psychiatrist and may well get better service. If someone is available you could have a chat with your GP. Why not see what's available.

I know the word psychiatrist is a bit scary for some people. I see a psychiatrist every week and find it very helpful.You know about the Medicare safety net so that even if your rebate leaves a big out of pocket expense you will soon reach that safety net and have the majority of the fee paid. I pay about $18 per session.

I can relate to being abandoned in that heartless fashion. It is disgusting to leave you to manage on your own just when you were beginning to open up and talk. You do know you can make a complaint about her.

Are there any other options for you? Can your GP offer some MH counselling and/or your MH nurse? I imagine they are supporting you at the moment.

Despite the psych not being available did you learn anything about self soothing and helping you process the different thoughts? It would be good to try to utilise anything you have learned to help you move forward.

Mary

[james1]

Hello everyone,

Coffeesnob - I'm really glad you've posted here because you've shared something which many of us have felt too. That sense of abandonment by someone we trust is really hard to deal with, especially when we are not well.

I have expressed a desire to reduce and even quit therapy a number of times with my own psychologist and been talked out of it each time. I've also expressed a desire to quit work and got talked out of that. I am quite glad that I was talked out of it, though I certainly wasn't at the time.

I think it is hard to know what is the "right" thing when it comes to therapy. Sometimes the right thing can feel like the wrong thing to us. For me, dropping therapy seems like a great idea. But I also don't know how close I am to taking a bad mental fall and, if I did, how likely I would be to try and reconnect with a therapist. Not likely, would be my best guess.

So perhaps my current psychologist talks me out of it because she thinks it is best for me. Or perhaps it is a money grab. I do not know.

I think the most important thing is that we are very clear with ourselves as well as with our psychologists about what we want from the therapy. The more clear we are, the more we are able to see if it will be a good match.

I have a friend whose psychologist responds to late night texts. None of mine ever have. But I suppose that is a boundary that they have discussed and which that psychologist is okay with.

James

[Lici]

Hi CoffeeSnob and all who are reading,

I find this thread very interesting to read as I've felt like this in the past (especially when my psychiatrist retired) but I'm also in my third year of studying to become a psychologist so I can kind of see both sides.

Psychologists have to follow the Australian psychological association's ethical guidelines. There are strict rules that they have to follow in regards to interacting with clients or they can lose their licence to practice. So while it may seem like they are being uncaring and heartless, many may be the complete opposite but their hands are tied. I'm not sure of the complete ethical guidelines as I'm not at that stage of my studies yet, but I do know that they're not allowed to have any form of relationship or friendship with a client outside of the professional role legally for 2 years after they have stopped seeing that client professionally. I'd say for most, they have to detach themselves for their own mental health and well-being. If they care too much and a client suddenly ends the professional relationship without any warning or email to explain that they are no longer coming, I'd imagine it would be rather upsetting.

Another thing to remember is that there is an enormous amount of people seeing "your" psychologist at any one time. The system is underfunded and I'd imagine that it is quite a stressful job. Psychologists are human too and they may forget about clients due to the sheer number of clients they have. I agree that psychologists should answer emails etc a bit better than in the examples here, they may have had 100+ emails that they have to go through.

They may be a psychologist who is also a university lecturer, researcher, forensic psychologist involved in court cases etc. Many don't just have the one role and have to juggle many different aspects of their careers.

It's very easy to become attached to your psychologist or psychiatrist and I'd imagine that the opposite would be true for psychologists and psychiatrists. The difference is though, a psychologist or psychiatrist is not ethically supposed to show that they care etc.

I hope this hasn't come across as too know it all or whatever, I just thought that maybe some of what I know from my studies may shed some light on the other side of the relationship. If I've upset or offended anyone I'm sorry.

Kind regards,

Lici

[Doolhof]

Hi Lici,

Thanks for your comments, they have been greatly appreciated. It is interesting to get a perspective form the psychologist and psychiatrist point of view.

Cheers from Dools

[Lici]

Hi Dools,

Thanks for your comment. While I'm far from being a psychologist yet, I'm glad to read that my comment has helped in some way!

I hope you're doing well 😊

Kind regards,

Lici

[james1]

Hi Lici,

I have a friend who is a practicing psychologist and she has said the same thing as you.

It is very hard for her as well and sometimes having that very professional and potentially cold attitude after therapy ends is the only way for her to deal with having to "let go". She sees it in a way that is kind of like having adult children leave home and it can be quite hard for her to not worry about the clients who move on.

James

[Lici]

Hi James,

Thanks for your comment! I hadn't really thought of it being like having children that you have to "let go" as I don't personally have children but your friend is right. I'd imagine that watching someone benefit from therapy and seeing them get better would be extremely rewarding but also kind of sad at the same time as you know that you will most likely never see that person again. If you've been seeing a client for long enough, and they just stop contact, it could potentially drive you to mental illness yourself if you weren't able to disconnect from it all.

I kind of feel bad about the times that I've just left after my metal health plans without a word now. It's so easy to forget that psychologists are real people with real feelings too. It's only been since studying psychology that I've really started to think about the other side of things.

[james1]

Yeah I know how you feel. My previous psychologist made one attempt to contact me after our planned christmas break and I just never replied. I do feel bad about it now, but at the time I was pretty mad that she "only" made one attempt. In hindsight, that one's totally on me!

Nice to hear from your (changing) perspective.