Hi blackandwhite, nice to meet you. I understand your concerns about starting on medication, it's a big step. I have been on antidepressants for about 16 years (now also on a mood stabiliser for bipolar). So there's a few things I'd like to mention.
Firstly, the weight gain. I think if you are conscious that the drugs can increase appetite, and you monitor your food and exercise carefully, you will not necessarily gain weight. The drugs themselves don't put the weight on, our increased food intake does.
Most people do find ADs effective. However, be prepared for the fact that it sometimes takes a while for them to work, and sometimes the first AD isn't the right one for you. You and your doctor might need to try more than one before you find the right one. But once you do, you really will feel the benefit.
Also, keep in mind that medication doesn't have to be forever. You might only need to take them for a period of time to settle your condition and then come off them. Also keep in mind that medication is only part of the treatment options. Talking therapy with a good psychologist also helps many people - if you haven't already, ask your doctor about a mental health plan that will allow you to see a psych at reduced fees.
Your doctor is of course right about benzos - they can become addictive and are only ever a short-term measure.
Some people do have side-effects or bad reactions to ADs, but many don't. And if you do, see your doc straight away. Don't just stop taking them without talking with your doctor.
I hope that's helpful, and very best wishes to you.
Kaz
