scared to try
- replies: 4
so i have been to many diffrent therapist in the past my biggest issue is i wont say anything unless directly asked, they ask me about my day my week ect. and im just thinking how is this helping i want to just talk about the issue at hand (my trauma... View more
so i have been to many diffrent therapist in the past my biggest issue is i wont say anything unless directly asked, they ask me about my day my week ect. and im just thinking how is this helping i want to just talk about the issue at hand (my trauma) and i feel to awkward to just come out and say it. i feel like they tiptoe around it like its a bomb and i am just wanting to face it, it doesnt help that im the type of person who doesnt understand broad questions, they just go over my head and ill answer the most direct because thats what i think they are asking, i also dont get when they are implying something in my head i am not regestering that it was them asking me more because it was just a comment not a direct question (my partner does this too and he often has to explain i missed what he meant like i dont register him saying "im feeling sad" as him asking for me to hug or talk to him because well he didnt directly ask for that) anyway my point is i am worried about going back to the doctors as i am worried they are just going to tip toe around it again and just make me more confused and frustrated. i have been off medication a year becuase it made me extremely sleepy and well i started to feel better but lately the hullucinations and paranoia are comming back and at random that feeling that the world isnt real when i know it is thinking its a dream, paranoia and constantly worrying if i really did something or not (ie. did i really cross the road on a green light or did i imagine it (then i will hyper focus on the fact it might have been red and have a breakdown from stress) did i go to the park or was that imaginary too ect.) honestly its gotten to the point i dont trust myself, for the saftey of my son my partner and MIL has taken over all childcare duties until i can get my medication sorted. most days are good but the bad ones are really bad and im so worried what to do without having a psych that can just ask me direct questions the worst part is i dont even know what is wrong with me im not diagnosed but i know that this isnt normal im scared it will get to the point i wont be able to tell myself "no thats not real"