Where Else to Turn?
- replies: 9
I've been diagnosed with depression/anxiety since about 15 (symptoms from 12ish) and I'm now in my mid 30's. I've been on an SSRI for eight years which helped with my anxiety and being a functional human. Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD and began... View more
I've been diagnosed with depression/anxiety since about 15 (symptoms from 12ish) and I'm now in my mid 30's. I've been on an SSRI for eight years which helped with my anxiety and being a functional human. Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD and began taking stimulants, which has helped a great deal but has the downside of feeling like I am puppeteering my body. It has destroyed my appetite and I feel like I'm caring for a needy Tamagotchi all the damn time (Oh look 2PM better force the woman to drink).The big problem is that I'm more depressed and frustrated than ever. I'm incredibly lonely, I have no friends, no family and aside from work I spend all my time alone. I'm a virgin, haven't dated and despite trying everything from mixed-gender sports to online dating, I'm still alone. My psychiatrist is a medication vending machine (Insert $250 and get a script - yay!). He told me I was 'too clever to have suicidal thoughts and should just not think about it'. My GP reluctantly referred me to another, but after waiting for six-months the appointment was cancelled when the doc was off sick and I was added to the end of the list.I fully believe in psychology, but in my experience they let me give TED talks about my current ADHD driven hobbies and take everything at face value, which is unfortunate as I lie unintentionally/easily. I've never gotten anything I would see as therapy from any of them. I had begun to see one on the regular this year, but she had to have an operation, and now it has been three months. They then cancelled my appointment 'as she was no longer taking late appointments' and I was put on the back of the three-month + long wait list....So what is the point?Really, what else can I do? I'm pretty sure the way things are going when I have my classic breakdown/freakout/anxiety attack one day I'm just going to kill myself, or at least try, as I get very distressed and reckless (and it's getting worse, month by month) Obviously, I don't want that but I am also finding it is too difficult to keep getting help. The constantly changing appointments stress me out, the price of it all stresses me out, and honestly nothing has helped, I'm still the same depressed person I've always been. What else is there? Where can I go? Please, there's got to be somewhere I can turn for more support or accountability.
