Hey everyone, newbie here! I was hoping to gather a few opinions on how
to work with damage to a therapeutic relationship. I've been seeing my
current psychologist on a weekly basis for a bit over two years. I also
saw her for about six months when I...
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Hey everyone, newbie here! I was hoping to gather a few opinions on how
to work with damage to a therapeutic relationship. I've been seeing my
current psychologist on a weekly basis for a bit over two years. I also
saw her for about six months when I was ten. (I'm now in my mid
twenties) In between the time I saw her, I became extremely unwell with
generalised anxiety disorder, Anorexia Nervosa and depression, which was
triggered by my brain being so starved. After years of inadequate
treatment (mostly inpatient) and getting a little better on my own, I
went back to my current psychologist, who has been an excellent fit for
me ever since and I have become more well, confident and happy than I
have ever been. However, after about a year of treatment, during times
of extreme distress in sessions, my psychologist let me sit next to her
chair on the ground and she may put her hand on my shoulder. I'd become
very childlike and want to be close to her. Sometimes she'd give me a
hug if I asked. But at the beginning of this year, she told me she this
couldn't happen any more. She was very diplomatic in explaining why (she
was fulfilling a caregiving role outside of her role as my psychologist,
meeting needs that can't be met in therapy, my personal connection to
her getting in the way of our work, etc) At the time, I had a fairly
dramatic meltdown that resulted in a trip to the ER. The following week
was hell with massive surges in emotion like I had never felt. But I
eventually settled and got back to an equilibrium. Only I've noticed
that I'm definitely feeling different in regard to my psychologist. I
don't feel anywhere near as close to her. I don't feel much emotion in
her presence any more, whereas I used to feel a sense of safety and
care. I logically know she still cares for me, but emotionally, I just
feel empty. I'm able to still work with her on my issues on a rational,
much more distanced level but I miss the warmth that was once there. I
had to see a different psychologist within the same clinic today due to
my usual one being away and the difference was made very clear. I could
feel the one I saw today (who I've seen a few times before) was much
more open with me and it helped me feel safe and supported. My usual
psych is now so closed by comparison and so am I I feel I may be
somewhat guarding and protecting myself from her emotionally. I never
thought I would feel the need to do that. Help? Opinions? Thanks.
-Teaandpugsleys
Didn't take my medication for a week
