struggling with special needs children

[Matchy69]

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy I am glad you have one worker you get on well with.On my daughters plan it has on it that she wants to be able to live independently so I was going to look into that and see what supports I can get their.Not sure what yet.My daughter got driving lessons through ndis and got a nice caring instructor and got her licence first go which was a good confidence booster for her.

I just trying to be the best parent possible which can be really hard at times.My son is really behind what most kids are at his age.He is still not using a toilet everything and have an incontinence nurse working with him.Changed his specialist as well to see if we can get a different approach and new ideas for him.

I am here if you need someone to talk to.

[Guest_16431]

hi Mark, thanks for being willing to talk and you're very supporive and friendly always which i always appreciate.

i'm sure it's hard to know what is the best thing to do and there are so many challenges being a good parent.

So happy your daughter got her license on her first try and hope her confidence continues to soar.

i'm struggling a lot financially and just trying to take it day by day. I don't have much mental health support at the moment and am really struggling with friends also disappearing in the hard times. I'm lucky to have a good friend who comes with me to appointments and checks in often but otehr friends don't seem to know what to say.

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy it is really hard at the moment financially for a lot of people.The price of everything has just sky rocketed.It does make it tough to buy the essentials these days.Unfortunately their aren't a lot of people who are very supportive with mental health.It can be a struggle to have those fiends who give support in tough times.I really struggle to make friends and to keep them.I have my kids who are the main focus of my life.

[Hanna3]

Hi Sleepy

I don't know if there is a St Vincent de Paul (Vinnies) shop anywhere near you, or else Anglicare or Lifeline - they give people where I am a lot of help including vouchers for petrol and cards for the supermarkets.  I see a lot of people getting help there who are in private rentals - a couple have told me it's only Vinnies' help that is keeping them going.  It would be worth giving the nearest one a ring or visit.  The cost of basic items is ridiculous.  

It's hard to find good friends, I always think if you have one or two you can rely on, you're doing well.  I think people often don't know what to say/what to do when someone is in difficulty and so they stay away, which makes things worse for you of course.  

Almost everyone I know is really struggling with the cost of living these days and heaps of people are having to get help from charity organisations.  The Vinnies welfare people here told me the major part of their assitance is going to people in private rental accommodation.  

I hope you can get some relief/assistance.  

[Guest_16431]

Hi Mark, thats so nice to hear from you. Thank you so much Hanna, that's really good advice and  insight. I appreciate that.

I'm somewhat homeless in a way, I surrendered my apartment due to hardship when i was unwell in a panic. It was so stupid. My rent went up and I've been housesitting since but i feel very unsafe as there are attachments and issues with the accom that it can be taken from me and the owner is not the safest person....

Thats a good idea about Vinnies, thank you. I receive some meal assistance. I have so little money and so little hope i've just been spending what I ahve on gifts. As Eagleray said so beautifully to me on another page, when u have less sometimes it doesn't matter anyway. 

I used to budget but I've lost hope. 
Re your kids as your whole world, that is ini a way a really beautiful thing, mark. Its the way it should be.

[Guest_16431]

hi Mark 

I have had some traumatic stuff happen recently and i'm barely coping

i agree re friends.

i'm upset at my friend but i think i'm the problem... i was in hospital and she was my emergnecy contact there. she never called or visited. i got really unwell there and i was really hurt. since then i tried contacting her as my metnal health has deteriorated and i've been in and out of the ED. 

she either ignores me or tells me she has some stuff going on and is too busy with work.

I kept messaging her and i feel i was a lot for her, or upset her. I then just said I'm sorry I was confused why you weren't replying and not i've just stepped back. She was my close friend and I still don't understsand. She kept just sending blunt messages that I needed to look on the bright side before disappearing completely and i'm so confused. But I know i can be a lot and that mental health is hard to talk about. I just don't get why now, after 20 yeaqrs of friendship.

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy I am sorry you have been really struggling of late.It is really disappointing when you lose a close friend and you are not the problem.If I was a friend of yours and didn't know what to say or do I would just hold your hand and give you a hug if you wanted one and listen to you.When my daughter was in hospital the other day I just held her hand and comforted her.I think going through things myself I am more conscious of being there for someone even though sometimes it can be triggering for me.

I feel so grateful that I own my house and never have to worry about rent.I here of so many stories of rent going up and people can't afford it.It is good you are house sitting at the moment and have somewhere to stay.

[Guest_16431]

hi Mark

i think maybe my friend and i were a mismatch but i feel bad that i kept pushing when she didn't reply. i was desperate for support. i became homeless very suddenly and everything fell apart in my relationship and private life.

i dont have mental health support easily availble and am falling between the cracks of the system. my friend i guess couldn't handle it.

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy it's very easy to fall between the cracks.I know I did for years.Thats why I try so hard to fight for my kids and try to get them living the best life.What ever health or mental health issues we have we should or be treated equal and respected.Sadly people do not understand anybody that is different.Now I am seeing it all again with my own children how I was treated.I don't think much has changed.You sound like an amazing person who would make a great friend.

[Guest_16431]

Hi mark, I do some peer support work in the community and I think I do it also so what happens to me doesn't occur to others. I hope u also take care of urself as I'm sure it is hard with all you for ur kids. That would be amazing if the ndis could help Ur daughter live independently. Is she enjoying having her license, are there places she likes to go?

I don't know if I will reach out to my friend. Tbh I blocked her, because I just felt so anxious about everything 

I just felt embarrassed I pushed her away but I also feel a bit angry.

I think she has been a bit of a fair weather friend. And maybe not looked out for me. I have another friend now who I've put as my emergency contact and she has come with me to appointments and called me every day and it kind of makes me see that the other friend was not being so good.

I always had to chase her she didn't really follow up with me.

They both have kids and are busy but my old friend has tons of support. I get that she's busy but I was in hopsital.