struggling with special needs children

Matchy69 · ‎21-09-2019

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

Matchy69 · ‎14-12-2023

Hi sleepy that's great you do peer support work in the community.Trying to prevent what has happen to ourselves is a really big motivation to try to prevent it happening to others and try and change things and the way it is perceived in the community.

My daughter has only driven to her mother's and my place and to the rspca where she volunteers.She dosnt really have any interest of going anywhere yet.I had to see the department of transport to get clarification about the new rules regarding driving with autism.They basically told me their is no problem with it.She has been sick the last couple of weeks but feeling better now but still has some pains which is a bit of a worry.I am wondering what supports I can get through ndis for helping her living independently.I will look into it more next year as we get pass this holiday season.

Guest_16431 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi Mark, the ndis can offer some good stuff for independent living but it's hadd to find support workers who are a good fit. I hope it can help her be independent and understand it must be stressful seeing what can Ne put in place. Was wandering if her mother helps much or not really....you are very clever with how you get her good supports!

It is good having the ndis but it can also be very complicated.

I have a roof over my head but I am very stressed atm about housing and friendships and mental health.

I have cancelled all workers for ndis because I had a lot and they felt kinda like intrusive as they come to my home. It never connected from one worker to the other, things weren't really handed over and I'd have to plan things for us to do. It's really often a bit wasteful.

Then they'd leave and I'd just feel sad and tired.

Matchy69 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi sleepy it's interesting you mention my kids mother.Her attitude towards the kids are not the best and she blames me for them having autism and special needs.Last Friday my daughter had been staying with her mother for a week and got sick and her mother text me to come and get her.I took her to the doctor and the doctor told us to go straight to the hospital.I always took them to the doctors when they are sick.Her mother does look up things that might be of some help so I will see if she has found anything that worth looking into.

I am not sure what I am really looking for for my daughter yet.I might see if I can find another course for her to do as well.

Hanna3 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi Sleepy

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. The housing situation is outrageous and it's been ignored by governments for decades. We've turned housing into a way of making money instead of being a human need. Housesitting/group share might be the way to go for the time being and do ask for whatever help you can get from the charities. I know the welfare staff at the Vinnies here and they know exactly what is going on in this entire area. There are tent cities going up all around the mid north coast where people are just pitching their own and squatting. I meet elderly women living in tents in the bush here. It's a disgraceful situation.

Something will turn up. Keep contact with a welfare organization and it might be worth putting in an application for public housing and just keep it on the backburner with them in case something ever comes up.

I'm sorry about your friend - I had someone I thought was a good friend turn on me - I have learnt the best thing is to just shrug your shoulders and realize they weren't the friend you thought they were. It does hurt. I reckon if you have one or two really good friends in life, that's enough.

Hang in there, there are so many people in your situation. Something will turn up eventually. And I agree about the money - when you have only little, you give up and think what the heck, I might as well spend the bit I've got left on something nice for myself!

Matchy69 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi sleepy I hope your day has been ok as it can be.I walked up the hill to the basketball court with my son this morning.He has becoming obsessed with basketball.I will see if he can maby join a team in the future.I use to play in high school and enjoyed it.My daughter just been watching Netflix in her room.I will get her to clean the chicken pen out tomorrow.

Matchy69 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi Hanna I hope you are doing ok and it isn't to hot for you.It has been very humid here and storms were building up but they have seemed to have disappeared now.The rain would be nice but not the damaging wind and hail we can get.

Hanna3 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi Mark and Sleepy

Yes we just had a storm here but not as bad as they had forecast luckily - we had warnings of severe hail but that didn't happen - my car is parked outdoors so that's always a worry!

It was hot today - I was at the library picking out some good books - I do sketching, I studied art a long time ago and thought I'd pick up some sketching again, I used to love that. I'm a big reader so I also borrowed a couple of interesting looking non-fiction books. I\We have no TV coverage here for a few days as an aerial is broken and all the neighbours don't know what to do without it - I like it as it's peaceful and I can play music - and they can always go to the library and borrow a DVD for free. I've been talking to a friend about what breed of dog to get - the two I am offered are either a cocker spaniel pup or a Cavalier - she suggested I talk to the dog groomer here I know, I hadn't thought of that - I'll give her a ring next week and chat to her as she sees all sorts and kinds of dog in her work! I'm more concerned with health issues in the breeds. I've also been writing Christmas cards and finally got them all posted today!

I think it's great that you son is interested in basketball, what a great sport for him to take up - and a way of him building self-confidence and making friends! I'd definitely encourage that one Mark! How is your daughter feeling now, I hope she is doing OK.

I got a few nature documentaries on DVD from the library and last night I watched one about Nazi Germany which was interesting but depressing! I have one on Vietnam as well - I remember our family worrying that my eldest brother would be called up but he was very lucky to escape having to go there, that was a terrible war.

I have intrusive neighbours - they are generally kind but they watch whereever I go and who I talk to here - I see them parting the blinds to watch whenever I walk past their unit going in or out - and the other day I was chatting with a new neighbour here and they actually came out onto their porch to watch! They seem to have not much to do and don't seem to know how to occupy themselves, but I find the lack of privacy unpleasant. Maybe when the television aerial is repaired they will stay indoors more!

I am off to get some dinner - I had a long phone call late today but it was nice to talk to an old friend.

I wonder if your daughter has come across any smallish-to-medium dogs that she thinks are good natured and would be nice pets? Sam was a sweet natured doggie and I'd like my next dog to be the same - although a lot of that depends on them being treated properly of course.

I hope you have a good evening Mark and Sleepy too.

Matchy69 · ‎15-12-2023

Hi Hanna that would be terrible to have a nosey neighbour like that.I have had neighbours like that.I remember my mother spending a whole weekend doing her Christmas cards and writing a note in them all what we have all been up to during the year.We would get so many we would have 3 stringlines of them hanging up.

I remember when I got my Rhodesian ridgeback x from the rspca she just stood out to me.I think it was her eyes that gave me that look that I must have her.She had been taken off a abusive man.She was such a lovely dog.That was many years ago now.I will ask my daughter later what dogs she thinks are lovely natured.She is still in some pain but is eating much better now and seems over the worst of it.

Matchy69 · ‎16-12-2023

Got woken up by a storm about midnight and it absolutely poured down.My son had trouble sleeping last night and has been up since 4am playing on his laptop.

Hanna3 · ‎16-12-2023

Yes thanks Mark - I really hate it when neighbours watch everything I'm doing, it gives me no privacy. I think they have nothing to do - they know all the gossip about everyone so I am very careful not to tell them anything about me, I just say hello and say something about the weather etc. Mostly I now avoid them as much as I can.

I can understand about your dog - when I went to buy Sam I intended to buy his sister - but when I saw Sam there was something about him that just made me melt! And he turned out to be the sweetest dog. So yes, I think there has to be a connection.

It's very muggy here, we had a storm late yesterday. I couldn't sleep so I got up and spent ages putting my movie and music cd collection into sleeves instead of all the plastic cases. I don't have storage space and I don't intend to ever sell them, so putting them into sleeves I buy off Ebay saves a lot of space. It's just a fiddly boring job transferring the discs over as I like to keep the artwork as well.

I'm heading out for a drive now, I like to go for a walk somewhere when the afternoon has cooled down so I'll take the car out and look for the best spot to have a stroll. It's tourist season so anywere near the beaches is crowded out, it won't calm down until after the end of school holidays next year.