So Tired - Anxiety Depressed Hubby

[SadWifeConcerned]

For the last 2.5 years I have been doing everything that I can to help my Husband . ..I just feel like he is constantly taking one step forward and two back, I have a 1yo and 4yo and everything is getting harder, it is like I have 3 children and no support, his Psych (psychologist and psychiatrist) just keep telling me that it will all take time . . .What do I do?

If I leave I know that he will self harm again and staying is becoming more and more soul destroying - he is an amazing man and our kids adore him, what right do I have to take him away from them.

We are happy some times but then there are the times that I just get so frustrated with him. He only works 3 days a week and cannot on his off days seem to do anything without me nagging him . . .most days he does not get out of bed and on the weekend when he comes to the kids play area hefalls asleep and then I get a look of disappointment when they make noise or scream . . .

I just tell him to go back to bed most of the time just to make it easy. The hard thing is that I love him, I want him to be well but his anger is starting to take its toll . . .what do I do?

[JessF]

Depression is a very debilitating illness. It says a lot that if he is needing to spend most of his days off sleeping or in bed, then it is a miracle that he can still work 3 days a week. That must be a monumental effort for him, probably driven by his desire to support his family and not be a burden.

When you say he won't do anything on his off days, what are asking him to do?

[Pixie15]

Hi SadWifeConcerned,

Welcome to the beyondblue forums. I think if you check out some of the threads on supporting family and friends that you find out that you are not alone. I have a partner who suffers depression and I can remember times where he would be home all day while I worked and the one load of washing he had managed to put on at the start of the day would still be in the machine getting smelly again when I arrived home in the evening. 

There is a booklet in the resources available for download from this site with a lot of information for carers. A first step might be to have a look at that. There may be a carer group in your area which you could join. If you are having trouble dealing with some of his behaviors you might consider arranging to see a psychologist yourself. I also think taking part in this forum has helped my understanding a lot.

thanks.

Christine.