My son has ODD - anyone else relate? how do you manage?

[Simona]

As I have previously posted before; I have 3 children (8,10,16) .   My 10 year old has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder although  I can't help but suspect that he has some other mood disorder going on because of his sudden mood swings.  Currently we are in the process of organizing another psychologist and it has been a frustratingly slow process hampered by the fact we reside in a very rural region.

I just need to know if there is anyone out there who can relate to my disposition. Dealing with my son has taken an epic toll on us as a family unit. My partner has more or less bailed out of any family activities because he can't handle the stress.  My 8 year old is often the forgotten one in all of this because she is such a quiet polite little girl and hence very independent.  My 16 year old shuts his door and puts on his headphones.

Master 10 is a force to be reckoned with and he is almost tall as me.  God knows I love him so but I sometimes feel like I don't even know this person.  One minute he is polite and loving and the next BAM - the polar opposite.   Sadistic - to his little sister. Manipulative/lying. Aggressive. At times shows no remorse or empathy.  Or he will say sorry but he will smirk at the same time like he's just toying with you.  

Challenges everyone and has very poor impulse control. Enjoys intimidating the family dog so that she virtually crawls very low to the ground when he calls her.   Poor Miss Bandicoot Paws - she really is a living breathing barometer of his mood swings and hides under my desk here. 

I feel like such a bad mother sometimes but I'm trying my best. I don't have any vices. I don't drink, smoke, take drugs - not even panadol. I have no crutches. I'm more or less scrapping by.  I don't know what else to do. Yes i could get on some anti anxiety meds but i need to be 100% on the ball to be an effective parent.

And i don't understand him at all. Lately he is obsessed with pranking everyone so we are all on edge. His pranks are not funny. He doesn't see this and laughs like a maniac.   And seriously - he has this laugh that sounds totally unhinged.  When we hear it - partner and I brace ourselves because we know "he's 'lost' it again. 

[Simona]

This is not good because

it's not just him.   I'm scared because I don't know how I'm going to pull this off as his mother.  I know this is probably not making sense but there is more to me than just me ok. I don't know how to explain it but I'm creeping myself out .

I'm thinking maybe I should be very careful from here onwards when I talk to the people because I forget who iam

I need to lay this thread low again. I feel bad now because I love him so much - it's not about my love for him.

[Carmz]

Hi Simona,

I know you posted this 9 years ago, but just wanted to see how everything turned out for you and your son...

currently my 10 year old is living with ODD and its getting worse and i am worried about his future.