my bf broke up withe me he says its depression

[sophie1122]

Hello. i need some help as im not very familiar  with depression and i dont understand everything it effects in people.my bf and i have been dating only a short while we were on a path of something serious or i thought. He told me at the start he had depression  and anxiety  and he takes medication. I was a little worried at first but he assured me he was ok now and he had taken some time alone before meeting me and learned to love himseld and he was happy. So we started dating . He was (is) the nicest guy iv ever been with he treated me like a princesses

 . I noticed last week he wasnt himself one day and asked what was up he said he felt flat and dint have a purpose in life this was strange to me cause he is usually happy and upbeat . He told me he missed 2 days of his pills and was just in a down mood. Sure enough everything was back to normal.  On friday we were together all day

 .he was telling me how happy i make him how amazing  i was how its just so easy with me . Then he went out drinking that night and in the morning he seemed down again saying i shouldnt have gone out i would of had more fun with u . he slept all day. Meanwhile  i was preparing my sisters hena night . And he msgs while we are out and says i slept all day hope ur having fun . I said are u ok u have hardly msgd he said sorry i didny realize then came out with this novel of a msg saying he waa worried about the distance  and its gonna be hard in the future to see eachotger more spontaneously and when he just needa me. I thouggt we saw eachother enough and was happy to drive the distance and he said the same just the other day  then i said well are u saying u do not want to see eachother anymore. He came strieght  back with 8 msgs saying no he wants me only me he thinks about me all the time and doant want anyone eles. I was like ok thats good and was like the distance isnt a problem. Ok so in the space of a hour he went from of course i want to be with u to he dosnt and needs to be alone he isnt mentally ready for anything and was being really down and not himself it was like talking to a conpletly different person. I was  very upset and tried saying im here and we can do this together  but he turned his phone of then later said i am drunk and taking sleeping pills i cant answer this right now i need to aleep and think. I dont know what i want. 

I msgd in the morning and he said the aame he cant do it because of depression. 

im 28 he 26

he also said he missed another pill 

[Kathryne]

Sophie,

Depression and anxiety are a challenge to live with. In our society mental health is still regarded as taboo.  If you walk out with a bandaged arm nearly everyone will offer helpful advice or commiserate with you. However you mention that mental health word your shunned.

It's great that you can see passed the illness to the person beyond. You will find loads of links to helpful information on beyond blue. Access the information to allow you to clarify your feelings and ways to manage your friendship.  

Medication to be effective really does need to be taken routinely.  Missing doses may cause the mood swings you have noticed.

You also need to look after your self. Define what you want out of this relationship and what you are prepared to compromise on. I wish you well Kathryne

[Cherpieus]

Hi Sophie,

Your situation does sound hard but I'm so encouraged that you care enough to find out more about depression and how you may be able to work through things in spite of it.

I have depression myself and found dating very difficult. I have been married now for 4 years. 

The one piece of advice I'd like to offer is to try not to communicate via text or email. My husband and I made this decision while we were dating because over and over again we created big problems due to what one of us said in a time of high emotion via text or email. Once we stopped doing this and only had serious conversations on the phone or face to face things were much better.