Feeling like I'm burning out.

[Sly]

Don't know where to begin, I feel like screaming.

My partner and I have been together just on 3 years (we have re-coupled since a break up in our early 20's). He experienced an intense childhood, a highly religious family with frequent physical abuse, a white australian boy with a family that converted to Islam in a time where Islam wasn't common news. In the 3 years we have been together it has been nothing but problems....job instability, bankruptcy, loss of drivers license, loss of employment, a break down and now me living with him in his parents house while he frequently sees GP's, psychologists and psychiatrists who have diagnosed him with everything from Depression to PTSD, PTS, G.A.D and now the latest one Adjustment Disorder. One thing they all agree on is the meds he must take, that he can't be cleared for work (his license; within his job field,  has been suspended due to mental Instability) oh, and they can't allow me to access any form of financial assistance (his income protection) because none of them can agree on a diagnosis. This has been going on since October 2014.

 during this time I regularly work 6-7 days a week (the last 11 weeks I worked straight) and I drive up to 4 hours a day (because I live with him in the country, despite working in the city) I've had 4 flus this year and have just recovered from bronchialpneumonia. I am exhausted, over life and over him. On top of all of this my Dad died, my mums depressed and I am also helping her financially because she won't sell the house....because my Dad built it. I've gained so much weight, I'm tired all the time! Im so angry and I feel so helpless. 

 is it wrong for me to want to leave him? Sometimes I just think of running away from it all. I'm in my early 30's for God sake! We should be in love and planning a life.....

[Kathryne]

Hi Sly

nobody can continue working your workload long term it will effect your health,which you have already discovered with your illnesses. The emotional trauma of the loss of a loved one your dad and the financial issues for your mum. No wonder you are continually tired. I assume with all the work , driving etc that you probably may not be eating healthy , possibly grabbing junk foods.  

Sometimes going somewhere else where you can scream and rant with nobody to hear can help get the frustration out. Seek clarity,  what do you Want?   You need to know how to handle the feelings of anger, helplessness and tiredness.

Have you thought about speaking with some friends or family members to seek a solution for your relationship to allow it to grow in a healthier relationship. ? Do you have a good relationship with your partner family.

There is helpful information available on the beyond blue site

Kathrye

[trustlife]

Hi Sly, 

Wow, I am really sorry to read your post but very glad you contacted us. Let's start at the very end of your post. Your last paragraph says it all. Not suggesting you run away but it's long past time that Sly looked after herself. If you continue the way your going it's Sly v The Problems and at the moment (being a bit blunt here) the problems, history and background are winning. So I agree with you - time for a change.

Without rocking the boat, I'd suggest you announce you need some 'me time' and make arrangements to stay with a friend for at least a long weekend. Don't go to your Mothers as you need time from there as well. Now this is an important part - you are not going to your friend to trash it out with them. You're going there to relax have fun, watch silly movies and basically get a moment or two to catch your breath. I know it sounds cliche but decide where you're going for a long walk alone. By alone I mean NOT with your problems. It's been a long long time since you were with just your self. I can't advise you on whether you should leave him, but I can suggest as soon as you get your own little spark back and your little flame is starting to shine again, your decision will not only be glaringly obvious, it will be simple to make.

Mike